January Jones Broke Up With Director Boyfriend Before He Even Got Her Pregnant

January 31st, 2013 // 24 Comments
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Considering Sweetwater already premiered at Sundance so there’s no way she can be edited out of it now, it should’ve been expected that January Jones would immediately ditch Noah Miller and presumably move on to turning Bryan Singer straight so she can get her old job back. “I promise you can go right back to penis after the Blu-ray hits.” Us Weekly reports:

The 35-year-old actress — whose exes include Jason Sudeikis and Ashton Kutcher — recently reunited with Noah and his twin brother, director Logan Miller, during the Sundance Film Film Festival in Park City, Utah. “They were completely fine in each other’s company, so it didn’t seem like it was an ugly breakup at all,” a source says of the exes.

Of course, the more likely scenario is this dude got tired of hearing, “Mmm, make that dick marry someone else and put a baby in me,” every time they had sex. I mean, talk about pressure. You have to find a priest, pick out wedding invitations and, Christ, the seating chart? Fuck all that. Now you know why I stay celibate. Entirely because of this. *shoves Batman LEGOs under desk*

Photo: Getty

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  1. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    JC
    Commented on this photo:

    “They were completely fine in each other’s company, so it didn’t seem like it was an ugly breakup at all,” a source says of the exes. “Or last I think so,” the source continued. “Let’s be real–she’s a rancid ball of hate, so it’s pretty hard to tell the difference between her ‘love face’ and her ‘stabby face.’”

  2. Confusus

    Why is a story about January Jones headed with a picture of some middle-aged hag in a red sweater?

  3. Drew

    You have the money to get your hair done by someone that isn’t a 15 year old girl with store bought bleach. Go do that.

  4. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    What manner of trickery is this?

  5. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Deacon Jones
    Commented on this photo:

    “What do you mean I’m crazy? What do you mean, the way i talk? What? What did you say? Crazy how?!
    You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it’s me, I’m a little fucked up maybe, but I’m crazy how, I mean crazy like I’m a psycho, I scare you? I make you scared, I’m here to fuckin’ scare you? What do you mean crazy, crazy how? How the FUCK am I crazy?!?

  6. cc

    She reminds me of a girl a friend of mine dated. She removed his face with a vodka bottle.

  7. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Netta
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking at this pic has the same effect as looking at that creepy little well girl from The Rin–…

  8. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Natty Ice
    Commented on this photo:

    They broke up? Really? Wow. Here I always thought that a couple that does “Glamour Shots” together, stays together.

  9. Kevin Federline

    Whose the baby daddy?!!!!

  10. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Sweater huh? Even January Jones gets a chill from January Jones.

  11. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Well, tomorrow’s February. TIme to mothball her until next year.

  12. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    If they ever make a Gunslinger series, January Jones as Andy of Calla Bryn Sturgis is some creative casting i could get behind. Because whatever look she is making here, it just leaves me with a feeling that she should not be doing it.

  13. Veronika Larsson

    I am a blonde (my hair is lighter, of course–”Swedish blonde”) and we blondies should never wear a red sweater, especially against a reddish background. It makes our skin look awful.

    This is a textbook example of that.

    Anyway, now that her acting career is nearly over, it’s time for January Jones to snag a rich bank account–erm, I mean husband–and retire from “show business”.

  14. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    damn she ugly

  15. Bambi

    What are the chances? In a slide show of Jones, more than 2 pics of her smiling.

  16. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Chris
    Commented on this photo:

    Not them. That’s Jason Isaacs. He’s dreamy and one damn fine actor.

  17. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    anonym
    Commented on this photo:

    now i know why she doesn’t smile often.

    that’s freaky

  18. January Jones Sweetwater Portraits Sundance Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    looks like a fucking android

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