January Jones Wants A Dude From ‘The Bachelorette’

“She’s 39, has a kid, and is less than fifty feet from me? Oh, Jonah. You will pay dearly for this.”

You know how the evidence has really been piling up lately that January Jones has been riding the Hammaconda? Well I think she froze it to death, because the other night she went on The Late Late Show and talked about how she wants to be on The Bachelorette, or at the very least catch some reject contestant D on its way out the door. Via Page Six:

“I asked my publicist. I’ll watch the show, have a couple of glasses of wine, Ben [Higgins] gets kicked off and I’m like, ‘Oh I’m gonna be the next Bachelorette and get that guy.’ And then she says it would ruin my career. I get shot down. But that’s my dream,” she said.
But as Corden and fellow guest Samuel L. Jackson — whose daughter surprisingly works on the reality show — pointed out, Jones probably doesn’t need to go on “The Bachelorette” to date Ben. She could just get an introduction through Jackson.
Of course, it turns out that Ben’s number isn’t even the one she wants.
“He’s not even my favorite,” she said, before adding, “Nick’s pretty cute.”

Thankfully, I’ve never seen The Bachelorette, so I have no clue who any of these dudes are, but I assume it’s really not that tough to get in touch with former contestants from reality TV dating shows.

“Hey Ben, when you’re done taking that supplement branding pic for Instagram, January Jones said she wants to bang you.”
“Thanks, Nick. I’ll send her back over to you afterwards unless you’re going to be opening another pool in Vegas.”
“Cool, cool. Want some ‘za?”

(I hate everything about this post. Was I too subtle?)

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