January Jones’ New Boyfriend Is The Director Of Her New Movie, Of Course

August 23rd, 2012 // 31 Comments
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If little Xander Dane has taught us anything, it’s that January Jones likes banging dudes she works with and also really hates kids. So it shouldn’t be a surprise to find out her new boyfriend is Noah Miller the director of her latest movie once you get past the shock that he’s not married, of course. *tries to stop bowtie from spinning* Via Life & Style:

“They met on the set of the film Sweetwater,” a source tells Life & Style. “January’s one of the stars, and Noah’s co-directing with his twin brother, Logan.”
January and Noah seem to be getting serious, too! The two were spotted holding hands in Santa Monica on Aug. 20, with January’s 11-month-old son, Xander, in tow.

In related news, January Jones has just been cast in every movie ever. “She’ll make a terrific, new Snow White,” says Rupert Sanders, “and I’m not just saying that because I’m married and not sterile the way she likes. Honey, bring the kids in here, wouldya? I want January Jones to see I can make sperm.”



  1. FudgeSticks

    What a hipster douche. Him too.

  2. JC

    Wait, holding hands is “getting serious” now? Is he going to ask her to the sock hop and then try to French kiss her behind the bleachers?

  3. He looks like he should be a guitarist for the Barenaked Ladies. He has that nerdy douche hipster thing. She looks … meh.

  4. The Royal Penis

    That explains it. I thought he had a horsedick.

  5. Cock Dr

    The man is just doing what he needs to for the film.
    His leading lady has the emotional acting range of a dead (not just playin’) possum….hell yeah he needs to fuck her brains out, repeatedly.

  6. alex

    I guess I’m not allowed to post links until I sign up…which will happen never….so google it yourselves, January Jones is dressed like Franky from The Goon comic book series.

  7. Frank Burns

    “He’s perfect for me” said Jones in a monotone voice. “Where I am frozen and distant, he is chilly and remote. During dinner, he never once looked at me, and was curt and angry with the waitress even when ordering the appetizer, which he bitterly complained about later.” And what about the public hand-holding? “That’s just how we check each others pulses, to see if the coldness we feel is death or just our usual state of being.” At the end of the interview, Jones thanked us with her usual snowy “yah, okay, now fuck off”.

  8. She’s not hot. She’s creepy looking actually. I look at her and think Heroin addict in trailer park …

  9. January Jones New Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    She has the face of a smacked arse.

  10. January Jones New Boyfriend
    Buddy The Elf
    Commented on this photo:

    Awww, its hipster Mr. Sensitive Ponytail guy.

  11. January Jones New Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    Permanent bitchface. If she smiled it would shatter into a million little pieces.

  12. alex

    If I were dating her, I’d have her dress up as the White Queen every single day.

  13. Buck

    Call me old-fashioned but i preferred it when you would fall in love, then get married and then have a baby instead of have a baby, dump the guy, then drag your 11 month old out on your next hook up.

  14. Wendy

    “The two were spotted holding hands in Santa Monica on Aug. 20, with January’s 11-month-old son, Xander, in tow.”

    In tow, meaning 5-10ft behind them at all times where his cries/pleas for motherly affection cannot pierce her icy ear drums.

  15. She looks so happy to be in a loving relationship. She just exudes love and warmth.

    I seriously cannot stand the look on her face. So fucking sour.

  16. charlie

    Xander looks like so much Jason Sudeikis

  17. January Jones New Boyfriend
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    How does it feel, going out with the single mother of a hated child?

  18. January Jones New Boyfriend
    Little Tongue
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s starting to look pissed off by proxy.

  19. January Jones New Boyfriend
    Commented on this photo:

    dude looks just like Mark McKenney playing Darril.

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