January Jones Got Knocked Up By a Married Dude

May 19th, 2011 // 33 Comments

“I’ll send this one to his wife. I just know we’ll be besties!”

As we continue to delve deeper into January Jones‘ baby-hole, The Daily now reports that the mysterious gunmen on the grassy vagina is married making him one of way too many people to list from the cast or crew of X-Men: First Class. Regardless, this is about to get real interesting considering this guy either promised to leave his wife – And if it’s one of the cast or director Matthew Vaughn, assume Fox’s marketing department made him promise to wait until next month’s premiere while attempting to hide their massive erections. – or he said no such thing, and January Jones kept the baby anyway because she’s a crazy, vindictive bitch. Also, love-children are in right now, but only if you can somehow make one black then adopt it even though it fell out of your vagina. It’s all about the trifecta.

Photos: Splash News


  1. Ainoah


  2. Ainoah

    For the first time ever.Anyway I don’t know who this girl is.

  3. At this precise moment, Ahhnold is going DOH!

  4. Rancid

    The fact that she’s a homewrecking whore
    only makes me want to bang her that much more

  5. “Aquaman? Where do you get this shit? That’s even the wrong comic book company. I said it was semen that got me pregnant, you fucking idiot.”

  6. the captain

    ……………..arnold schwarzenegger again?

  7. Blinky

    she looks good in this pic

  8. SayWhat?

    What a dumbass/marginal in the looks dept.

  9. 2for2true

    What a filthy detestable gutter whore…..tsk tsk tsk….we should bury her up to her neck in the sand, pour honey over her head and nature do the rest…Oh wait – she did it with a MARRIED MAN? oooooh, now I’m REALLY steamed…I thought it was premarital sex….but now….now……..I wouldn’t want to get any WHORE GERMS on the innocent animals and insects….let’s just burn her at the stake and be done with her filthy, despicable kind…..

  10. 2for2true

    Ha, and she owns a Blackberry, too…further evidence of whoredom….

  11. January Jones Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    wait. is this the girl who said in an interview all the other bitches are jealous of her hotness? because i totally see it. looking hot!

    • John January

      Yup, so hot that the guy won’t even want to have a shotgun wedding.

      Who knows, she might have not used protection on purpose, hoping the husband will leave his supposedly less hot wife for her. Thank God he didn’t. Some women are for f*k*g only.

  12. anyone seen the nasty ass maid that arnold knocked up? holy fuck get that man a guide dog!! similarly to that one who left his wife for leann. at least this married dude picked a chick you could wake up next to and not wana throw up.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Or throw-up next to and not want to wake up! Either way is valid when dealing with a pregnant “Ice Queen”.

  13. cc

    Hmmm, if only scientists could invent something that prevented unwanted pregnancies.

  14. elmer the fudd

    The baby daddy is Chef Bobby Flay of Food Network fame, his 3rd wife is Stephanie March, actress (that is a generous description) on Law and Order. This is old news.

  15. atotalcad

    So she fucks anything that moves. Big deal.
    I want video or photos of this strumpet getting hosed.

    • And for the love of god..

      show her getting it doggy style up her ass finishing on her stupid whore face…dumb cunt

  16. mfbinc

    why couldn’t she wait for me to knock her up….WHY??????

  17. Liz

    I’m sorry but why would she not keep the baby? I’m pro-choice but why does keeping the baby make her crazy and vindictive???

    • Elza

      I am right with you. I am completely pro-choice, but it seems as though the author(I am using that term VERY loosely) thinks that the worst thing January did in this situation was to continue the pregnancy. I suppose if she had had an abortion, it would had been fine to sleep with 1,000 married guys. And what about the “married guy” who made her pregnant? He’s the one who cheated on his wife, he’s the one who made promises, not January. I think that Ms. Jones is not the best actress, but to trash her for this situation is disgusting. I wonder why more young women don’t continue their pregnancies when society makes it clear just “what a beautiful choice” being an unwed mother really is.

  18. January Jones Pregnant
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Kristy Swanson sometimes. And she’s far inferior to Claudia Schiffer, if Matthew Vaughn is indeed the cheating father-to-be.


  20. Looks like the Verizon iPhone wasn’t the only thing coming in January.

  21. She’s so dumb, her belt buckle says, “H,” for “Hore.”

  22. who dat

    I knew this bitch was a bitch. This isn’t the first time skankface has been caught with a married man. she was apparently screwing that fat pig chef Bobby Flay too. Never thought I’d side with Ashton, but if he ever put her and her “acting” down maybe it’s cause she’s a nasty bitch who needs to be put in her place. The more I learn about her the more I feel badly for anyone who dates her she seem like a prickly sour bitch of a ho. good luck living your life alone, men don’t really like unwed mothers it’s like paying a shitload of money for milk that’s already rotten.

    P.S. her face is on the Blake lively side of butter and Blake Lively has a better body. Sucks to be you lonely preggo ho.

  23. Jovy

    Who cares, she looks like a muppet dog in the face. Her massive nose doesn’t help either.

  24. hahahhaha

    In my opinion the trifecta has already been done, long ago. Look at Tom Cruise and then look at Connor Cruise, do they not look alike , and that would be the reason he got custody , cause its really his kid bwahahahaha

  25. Ghetty Real

    …cmon time will tell
    she’s a blond woman ! and could kill a whole elementary school and the public would look over that.

    The only one here that will suffer is the unknown man soon to be crucified.

  26. CJ

    January Jones is not pretty, and the “bitches” that hated her in high school hated her because she is a frigid, ugly, stuck-up bitch, not because she was pretty (which she is NOT). She can’t act, she is a home-wrecking whore, and she is a snotty little cunt. I hope Zach Galiafinakis is right and everyone will forget about her soon.

  27. Hank Moody

    what a bitch whore

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