January Jones is Kind of a Bitch

April 7th, 2011 // 105 Comments

January Jones appears in the latest issue of Marie Claire UK where she gives the kind of answers that make her portrayal of Betty Draper look like not that much of a stretch and also leave you wondering if she grabbed a small child afterward and beat it into the wall for not using a coaster:

On Mad Men:
“Financially, we don’t get paid very much on the show and that’s well-documented. On the other hand, when you do television you have a steady pay check each week, so that’s nice.”

On ex-boyfriend Ashton Kutcher who said she’d never make it as an actress:
“I don’t comment about that,” she replies in clipped tones. “And I never commented about him.”

On rumors she became a model to prove to “bitches” in high school she’s pretty:
“Where are you getting this shit? It sounds like something I might have said when I was, like, 15. The bitches in high school were bitches because I was pretty.”

I really wanted to go to town on that last comment, but I can’t stop looking at this photo and mumbling, “Those filthy bitches. Why I oughta…” That’s how she gets ya.

Photos: Marie Claire UK


  1. My Name Peggy

    I have to admit, I’m kind being a bitch right now.

  2. Why do I get the feeling that her idea of “not paid very much” is my idea of “I’m rich bitches!!!!”

    She sounds like an angry, unpleasant bitch with an inflated sense of entitlement. In other words, she sounds like she has a vagina.

    • Dan

      LOL this is fantastic.

    • qwerty

      Last time I checked Jon Hamm got 100 000 per episode which is 1/4 of what each of the desperate houswives gets

    • eatme

      …she is a terrible actress who landed a great role:
      the worse her acting, the more convincing her character
      I used to champion Mad Men, but now I see it for the boring disaster that it is.
      PS. she dated Ashton Kutcher? I hate her even more now.

    • GFY

      Resentful much? You sound like a whiny, sexist asshole with an inflated sense of your own (nonexistent) wit. In other words, you sound like you have a dick. What’s wrong, no luck with the ladies? Here’s a helpful tip: it’s probably because you’re a douche and think you’re entitled to whatever woman you want. Grow the fuck up. Or better yet, try evolution sometime. Clearly it’s passed you over.

  3. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    On an unrelated subject, I’ve decided to buy a motorboat for some reason.

  4. Dan

    Is anyone really surprised… really?

  5. hmna

    Well, if you look like an ice queen, you might as well act the part.

  6. sick

    Let’s be honest. She doesn’t comment on Ashton Kutcher saying she’d never make it as an actress b/c quite frankly, she hasn’t! Not on the silver screen at least. Not even comparable to Ashton and he’s a romcom queen!

  7. Argyle

    I’m pretty pleased that they got a bitch who knows she’s that hotness to play Emma Frost in X-Men. Spot on casting, that.

  8. BlueFalcon

    I would nibble the dingleberries off of her bitchy little tush-hairs.

    • Jovy

      Okay, seriously? That is one of the most disgusting things I have read all day. Are you really THAT horny?? REALLY? Go jerk off to your moms picture or something before posting nasty shit like this for all to see, we don’t wanna know your sick fantasies. I mean fuck we all get a bit naughty when we’re horny but your post takes the fucken fudge cake. Freak.

    • Anya

      that really is disgusting

  9. Ponkur

    Breaking News!
    Beautiful spoilt actress is a cold, angry bitch.

  10. JC

    She actually doesn’t sound that bitchy to me. She didn’t comment on Kutcher saying she was a hack, which is better than I would have done–I would have pointed out that he has the intelligence and acting range of a mushroom and will go down in the annals of acting as “Mr. Demi Moore” and nothing else.

    On the other hand, maybe I’m defending her because I want her to give me a savage spanking, Betty Draper style.

    • The Critical Crassness

      No offense,idiot,but before making inane commentary about the ability or lack thereof of Ashton Kutcher, perhaps you should have studied his biography a little more closely. He accomplished more by 25, than you will in your entire pathetic life, both as an actor and a human being…..that is, of course , if he actually is a human!

      • eatme


      • kimmykimkim

        Sweety, sweety, sweety, why would anybody over the age of 13 in 1999 read up on Ashton Kutcher’s bio? And I’m sure he has accomplished a lot in his however many years, but a lot doesn’t mean good. It doesn’t even mean mediocre. And please, don’t go calling people idiots and then be an ass. It makes you look like, well, like Ashton Kutcher, really.

      • Brian Wallace

        “Critical Craseness”. (AWESOME NAME! Is that the name of your emo band?)….Jeez…..You must NEVER get laid.

        Ashton Kutcher is a piece of shit douchbag and YET! You defend him.

        January Jones is hot and YET! You say you would rather jump Christie Brinkley’s geriatric bones.

        Hmmmmm…… That’s ok. Relax. Obama gave you the right to serve in the military and soon you’ll be able to marry your special fella and then maybe you won’t be so angry.

        Brian Wallace

      • Read Ashton Kutchers bio? Really? lmfao WHAT A LOSER !!! LOL LOL LOL YOu must have been waiting in line for Paris Hilton’s riveting autobiography too huh? LOL DOUCHEBAG ALERT LOL

    • kimmykimkim

      Ashton Kutcher is such a douche bag. He hasn’t made a decent movie since…um…never.

      • Frunken

        He’s famous for playing a good looking moron, pranking famous people and marrying Demi Moore.

        Damn look at those acting accomplishments!

      • K Soze

        If you read any of Crassness’ previous postings on other threads, this shouldnt be all that much of a shock…. and the fact he’s so vehemently defending a jackass like Kutcher is pretty much all that needs to be said. Yes, hes accomplished SO much. A regular Michelangelo, that one.

      • K Soze

        As a former Marine, I can most assuredly tell you that isnt going to go over as well as people would like to think it will..but to each their own..

        That being said, you’re talking to someone in Cras who actually took the time to insult someone for insulting Ashton Kutcher, and genuinely took offense to it… in other words…. no further insults are necessary….. he’s done more damage himself than anything you or I could say, combined.

  11. woody long

    She needs me to take her from behind , doggy style

  12. photos are ghastly, and she sounds like a cunt. but she’s def hotter than dummy moore

  13. dpbefun

    She sounds like a person with a great deal of self importance.

  14. woody long

    By the way , how does a retard like kutcher get hot girls ? Don’t they have to wipe the drool off of his lip?

  15. When Keeping It Real Goes To Publication

  16. nahhhhh

    I prefer women who don’t suffer bullshit silently.

  17. Coyote

    I would rather Have Christie Brinkley, any day of the Week.

    • The Critical Crassness

      Amen, and she is 57 years old! When January Jones is 57, she’ll look like the granny in Playboy cartoons, except she has no tits to be sagging to her knees!

      • minx

        dude what is wrong with you? first of all, she has the tits. second of all, what the fuck gives you an idea of what she’ll look like at 57?

  18. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    is she standing next to a gigantic vagina?

  19. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks like photo shoot was in Jackie Treehorn’s house from the Big Lebowski

  20. lady

    Well, she IS pretty. No shame in admitting what everyone with a pair of working eyes can see.

    • ohlawd

      Honestly? I think she’s only pretty when she has tons of makeup on and at specific angles. Otherwise, serious case of the man face.

  21. I’d hit that drunken bitch with both my dicks.

  22. Deacon Jones

    If she truly is a bitch, and isn’t putting this front on for the interview, she probably sucks in bed. As do 90% of the other “bitches”.

    They lay there and act like it’s a privilege that you’re fucking them. Next time, divert course and go for her quiet friend. They’re usually much more fun.

  23. Wow

    she sounds like a cold dish that many guys had wished were on their menu, then saw her and said, “No thanks, I like my balls”

  24. lola

    How is any of what she said bitchy ? I was expexting a lot more tbh.

  25. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    The young beautiful blonde bitch look is always in fashion.

  26. She could be sexy if she didn’t look borderline anorexic. Her face looks emaciated and her body is shapeless. Not much there for me to work with.

  27. LaRue

    And so modest too…

  28. right

    As long as she looks hot she can mouth off. When he looks go, she’l have to shut her trap. Unless of course she is suckin dick

  29. Josephus

    Oh shut up. All of you who are ripping her are going to be the first ones whipping it out to beat it to her first nude scene. To which I will say, “get your own tissues, I was here first. And second. Not third, I’m too tired. ZZZzzzz.”

    Whatever, you get the point.

  30. The Critical Crassness

    The only way to defrost this piece of baggage would be to do what our ancestors did to all of her kind. Burn her at the stake, like they did all those witches!

  31. It had to be said

    Id still rather nail the fat one.

  32. Sugar

    I guess I’m the only one who doesn’t find her that pretty. I hate her nose.

  33. Flaming Hand

    I have no idea who this bitch is, and as far as I´m concerned AMC only has one good show: THE WALKING DEAD.

  34. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    Look honey, I don’t get paid very much and that is well documented, too, yet you make far more money than most so shut the fuck up you ingrate.

    • The Ugly Truth

      Lol, exactly. This bitch CAN’T ACT worth shit! She pretty much ruined Mad Men for me because I grew so annoyed of her… She’s definitely been screwing her way to the top, because she is by no means an actress.

  35. uustone

    was that shot at Jackie Trehorn’s place in Malibu?

  36. kimmykimkim

    Why would anyone admit to dating Ashton Kutcher? It’s the equivalent of saying you owned all the NKOTB dolls back in the day, or saying you watch Glee, or saying you’ve jacked off to a picture of your mother. All those things, you just don’t do.

  37. xanax in my beer

    she looks like she should play whats her face, Michelle Pfieffer’s character in Scarface, if there was ever a remake. That’s the boring bitchy dead vibe I get from her.

  38. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:


    She’s not *that* pretty. She’s got a long horsie face.

  39. RayCharles

    Anyone who has spent any time around women knows that her last statement isn’t outrageous, especially for high school girls. There are lots and lots of women out there who are that petty and shallow.

    That being said, there are guys who do the same stuff.

  40. SexyBrains

    She’s not *that* pretty. She’s got a long horsie face.

  41. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Big Tex
    Commented on this photo:

    I would love to be balls deep in her with her toes in my mouth. I promise I would thaw her out!

  42. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    She is very beautiful…and i did not find her answers at all bitchy.

  43. Whatever

    She should keep her mouth shut and smile. Or she can be like that other “Ain’t I so pretty? I am so important. I think my rib bones are sexy” Megan Fox and end up on B movies just like that b*tch. Oh wait this one isn’t even in the movies yet… she might be a little early on the b8tchmobile.

  44. erin


  45. She sounds kind of awesome. I like when actresses drop the act and are up front with how they REALLY are.

  46. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    nice tummy. *because she’s a bitch*

  47. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    SMOKING HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  48. the captain

    agree, “bitches” work in brothels.

  49. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    cracka ass
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d ejaculate on her nose.

  50. January Jones Marie Claire UK
    Commented on this photo:

    She has such a handsome face, especially in pic 5. Was she a man before?

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