January Jones is Living the Dream

June 11th, 2010 // 23 Comments

After the entire Internet was alerted to her drunken sex the other night, January Jones apparently struck three parked cars last night only to flee the scene like the goddamn Fugitive. TMZ reports:

LAPD tells TMZ January was driving a Range Rover around 9PM when she allegedly lost control, hit the other cars and caused some major damage. We’re told a witness reported the accident to police and claimed that January fled on foot after saying, “I can’t deal with this commotion.”

As the story unfolds, it turns out the paparazzi were pursuing January, presumably because of the popularity of her walk of shame pics, which she says caused the accident:

Police tell TMZ Jones told them she was at The London West Hollywood Hotel watching the Lakers lose and then drove home. She says several paparazzi started following her and she lost control of her car and struck 3 parked vehicles. Jones says the photogs were harassing her so she left her license and walked a half a block to her home and called 911. The dispatcher told Jones cops had just arrived on scene so she returned. We’re told there will not be a hit-and-run investigation.

I’m pretty much always on the side of the paparazzi because without them we’d be looking at stick figure drawings of Britney eating a donut, but someone should probably explain to them that walk of shames only occur in the morning. Unless they know something we don’t know and January Jones is banging people using some sort of advanced, futuristic timeline. In which case, I should probably point out I’m a traveler from the year 3016 sent back to test our new invisible condoms. Praise be to our lizard overlords.

Photos: Splash News

  1. Gen

    She is sooo pretty…

  2. Jack Mehoff

    I would love lick her brown star.

  3. joho777

    January is over thirty and single. So who cares if she spent the night with some guy.

    And she so has reason to be nervous around the paparazzi.

    Too bad she got in an accident. Her insurance will cover it.

  4. why

    “the paparazzi were pursuing January”…
    “Police tell TMZ Jones told them “…
    WTF is going on with this nation? Who the fuck gave the Pap. and TMZ credibility and why?

  5. Plo0x


  6. Rhialto

    You’d feel always a bit stressed after a car accident.I was last week as well involved in a car accident (minor car damage).

  7. FattyFatty2X4

    Maybe her folks should have named her July, since she’s a Libra and all.
    It’s in the star’s, she’s cursed.
    Show us your boob’s pleez.

  8. Elle
    Commented on this photo:

    Is that an engagement ring on her finger?

  9. maomao

    UGH you’re making us hit the jump now to see your entire write up now? the number of clicks must be nice, eh? I’m almost done with this.

    • FattyFatty2X4

      you aren’t giving up on the camel toes, nipple slips, fake funbags, and all around frivality are you?
      Your will power is astonishing.
      God Bless maomao

  10. dufresne
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks very ordinary here. Not that hot.

  11. I guess I must be getting old or something, but who the fsck is January Jones? Is April Jones her sister? *I kill me*

  12. Mcfeely Smackup

    Who is January Jones? I swear I’ve never heard this name before, so she can’t be very famous. Why does she qualify as newsworthy?

    Or is this just a slow news day?

  13. bar room hero

    Who names a chld January??? What the FUCK ? ?

  14. Charlie Caligula

    She came back, this is no story.

  15. Lauren

    Anyone know the brand of her shirt? Or what day these photos are from? Thanks.

  16. ChinaCat

    I don’t like having to jump to the writeup, my Internet is super slow and it makes reading this blog super irritating. Just my two cents.

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