January Jones is Living the Dream

After the entire Internet was alerted to her drunken sex the other night, January Jones apparently struck three parked cars last night only to flee the scene like the goddamn Fugitive. TMZ reports:

LAPD tells TMZ January was driving a Range Rover around 9PM when she allegedly lost control, hit the other cars and caused some major damage. We’re told a witness reported the accident to police and claimed that January fled on foot after saying, “I can’t deal with this commotion.”

As the story unfolds, it turns out the paparazzi were pursuing January, presumably because of the popularity of her walk of shame pics, which she says caused the accident:

Police tell TMZ Jones told them she was at The London West Hollywood Hotel watching the Lakers lose and then drove home. She says several paparazzi started following her and she lost control of her car and struck 3 parked vehicles. Jones says the photogs were harassing her so she left her license and walked a half a block to her home and called 911. The dispatcher told Jones cops had just arrived on scene so she returned. We’re told there will not be a hit-and-run investigation.

I’m pretty much always on the side of the paparazzi because without them we’d be looking at stick figure drawings of Britney eating a donut, but someone should probably explain to them that walk of shames only occur in the morning. Unless they know something we don’t know and January Jones is banging people using some sort of advanced, futuristic timeline. In which case, I should probably point out I’m a traveler from the year 3016 sent back to test our new invisible condoms. Praise be to our lizard overlords.

Photos: Splash News