January Jones Birthed Her Bastard

After five years, by my count, January Jones has finally birthed her illegitimate child forged in a hotbed of adultery and whatever you call stuff (theoretically) behind Claudia Schiffer’s back. People reports:

Mad Men star January Jones, 33, welcomed her first child on Tuesday, her rep confirms to PEOPLE.
Son Xander Danes Jones and mom are “doing great,” the rep says.

Oh, how cute. Her baby’s name starts with an X just like X-Men: First Class the name of the movie she conceived him on with a married man. Now when he asks, “Mom, why does my name start with an X?” She can say, “Why it’s from the name of the movie I conceived you on with a married man.” And then when he asks where this guy is, she can explain to him how revenge pregnancy works. So to answer your question, the kid’ll be fine.

Photos: Splash News