Janice Dickinson, holy crap, that’s gotta stop

March 31st, 2008 // 135 Comments

Dearest Jan-Jan,

Before we begin, I’d like to commend you on your efforts entertaining our troops during the Second World War. At the ripe young age of 40, you gave our boys something to live for as they fought to stop Hitler from finding Jesus’ cup in that tomb with the knight who was like super old. Anyway, those glory days are long gone. When you reach the triple digits, it’s time to retire the bikini. How do I put this delicately? Your ass looks like E.T.’s stomach – but more Play-Doh-y. So Play-Doh-y, in fact, that I’m about ready to bust out my Spaghetti Factory. I like to make the stars!

Godspeed,

The Superficial Writer

NOTE: Not sure what this is, but I’m convinced it’s our duty as a society to kill it.

Photos: Splash News
superficial

  1. edgar suit

    first

  2. havoc

    I’ve seen this chick on TV.

    Quite the attention whore…….

    .

  3. What the..

    What is she….

    Is this some kind of a …

    I don’t get it.

  4. Auntie Kryst

    What is up with this new douchefucking trend of wearing those dumbass straw cowboy hats? Fucking UBERDOUCHEY!!

  5. ...

    Oh dear God.

  6. Fuck I hate scrolling!! Knock that shit off asshole fuckface

  7. jSb

    Who is that leather muppet ?

    And lol @ Spam ^_^

  8. Really?

    C’mon Fish, I’ve seen you delete posts before. #5 This shit has to stop.

  9. pointandlaugh

    What.the.f*ck.????

    what is WRONG with her legs? GAH!!!!

  10. lipper

    My EYES!! My EYES!!!!!

  11. Guy

    Nothing worng with her ass, just her legs, give her some credit.

  12. Fedor

    Yeah, I’d tap that!

  13. lipper

    My finger going up what? Is that like a stinky pinkie? : P

    I’ve just been traumatized. Again.

  14. jstunnah

    she needs to do many, many squats

  15. e

    Are you fucking kidding me she looks great for her AGE people.. Id love to see u fat-asses in 20000 years.

  16. She's...

    …53 years old.

  17. someguy

    “Ah, now that feels better!” – what I said after pulling the knives out of my corneas.

    I will never beat off to anything in a bikini ever again. Thanks for ruining my life, Fish.

  18. someguy

    “Ah, now that feels better!” – what I said after pulling the knives out of my corneas.

    I will never beat off to anything in a bikini ever again. Thanks for ruining my life, Fish.

  19. lipper

    What bothers me is.. she looks like that after TONS of plastic surgery. I mean, that’s the best money can buy? I guess I expected it to be better. *shrugs* Not that its terrible, just thought it would be better? I think her arms and stomach look ok, if I had to give her any credit.

  20. This is my mom, I think she looks better…

  21. She looks good at any age,
    this is real life, we are not talking about photoshop, flattering light photos in a studio

    People should not hide their bodies because they do not look like Playboy centerfolds or the Miss Universe swimsuit competition

  22. BarelyStearn

    Bacon!

  23. Margucha

    that is one ugly bitch
    and think that she used to be beautiful
    aw what the years doto you…

    oh and hon, don’t wear bickini and pose to the camere

  24. @20 Janice said she aborted her child. I always wondered what happened to a fetus after a DNC. Now I know, they become trolls on the Fish..

  25. natalie

    oh christ. ever HER arse is better at 207 than mine is at 22 *kills self*

  26. Hey they got rid of that longass post!!

  27. This is a typical 53-year-old man, for comparison.

  28. What long ass post?

  29. Crytpo-RAMA

    C’mon people. She looks good for 60. The Crypt Keeper loves tapping that every night. We all know he loves them bat shit crazy.

  30. @27 Ewwww please do not send us naked pictures of yourself again. That was gross Mike..

  31. KiKi

    She looks like a middle aged woman that takes care of herself and knows when to push herself from the plate.

  32. Cindy

    #27 has the only relevant comment here. That’s definitely a typical guy at Janice’s age. Not exceptionally bad or unattractive or anything; simply typical. It’s what most of the male commenters here will look like, if they don’t already. We all know that, so the negative comments are just silly.

  33. You know, I hope to look that “good” when I’m 207 years old, so let’s give the old bag some credit.

  34. JIMBO There was a comment around #5 or 6 that was four miles long about proctate orgasms..

  35. he-man

    Ive been looking for skellatore everywere. Man did he go down hill.

  36. Trover

    DIna Lohan is like 10 years younger than Janice, and all I know is that if I had to pick, I’d take JD. It would be one crazy night, and if I walked away without an STD and having been assaulted, it would be worth it.

  37. DAD! I told you not to write long comments here! It’s bad enough that you’re here in the first place. It’s like having Larry King watch you masturbate.

  38. NY Ted

    Somone put the old cow out of her misery!

  39. Damn and I miss it. I wondered what you were talking about up there..

    @37 Shut the fuck up Mike..

  40. Marky

    Is this the best she could look after thousands and thousands of dollars worth of work? She looks like a gross post-operative transsexual.

  41. sticky-armadillo

    her feet and legs in the last shot look like that of the cassowary’s. look it up and tell me they dont!

  42. There is a new post FRIST and our trolls are already there..

  43. The Laughing God

    Notice how she appears in the so freaking hot area now, what happened Fish? Take the laptop into the office hall closet and come out with a change of mind?

    Something, unnatural, happened to this woman’s legs.

  44. justifiable

    This proves you really can be too thin. She’s got no fat underneath her skin so it’s hangy and wrinkly and looks like shit., plus she thinks dieting = working out, which it doesn’t. If she gained some weight and toned up a bit and wore a one piece that would hoist her ass up a bit you could look at her without wanting to lose your lunch. But she’s vain and delusional, so I’m gonna go back to working on my plan for peace in the Middle East, I’ll have better luck there.

  45. Realist

    Her ass ain’t half bad. Her legs are fucked up. Some thermage on her body to tighten up the loose skin and a little lean muscle and she’d lookDAMN good.

  46. adeliza

    You know, as much as it pains me to type this, really, she has an alright body, it is just the upper thigh and buttocks that need some toning. 1 month of aerobics would cure that for her. It isn’t pretty, but it ain’t bad on a grand scale.

  47. k

    is that john mccain back there?
    he doesn’t look impressed…

  48. Andrea

    You guys are crazy. There are very few 53-year-old women who look like this. And all the “just do blah blah blah to fix the blah blah blah” comments are absurd. You can’t “fix” the all the effects of aging. If a 53-year-old does the same regime as a 23-year-old the results will be very different. I usually ignore all the “living in your mom’s basement” insults but please, act as if you’ve got some basic knowledge about life.

  49. justifiable

    #47 Nah, John McCain has had enough pain in his life being a POW in Vietnam and having his arms broken mulitple times. This is much worse than anything the VC could ever have come up with.

  50. Jenny

    I can’t believe that she is actually posing like she thinks she is sexy or something. Put some clothes on you old hag!

Leave A Comment