Janice Dickinson as GODZILLA
Janice Dickinson spent the weekend in Miami relaxing with her boyfriend who I’m guessing is Santa Claus without a beard. I dunno. What I unfortunately do know is that these two have some sort of intercourse. I imagine it’s like a polar bear laying on a bunch of Play-doh and chicken wire. But way, way less erotic. In fact, I’m kind of wondering why I don’t have any pants on. And so are my co-workers. Why is Fred in HR pointing at me with a knife in his teeth?