Janet Jackson was at the Johnny Vaughn show on Capital Radio in London and demanded chilled spring water from Fiji. And not to be confused as a regular human being, she had her staff use a thermometer to check and make sure the water was cold enough. A source says:
“It was simply unbelievable. It was hilarious watching her staff make such a fuss.”
You know how else you can tell if water is cold enough? You drink it. Or touch it. Or get near it. There’s pretty much an infinite number of more sensible options than having an entire staff of lemmings run around with a thermometer. Although water does taste better when there’s science involved. Wait, did I say science? I meant Vicodin.
Pat | August 8, 2006 at 4:35 pm
first!
Spunkbubble on J. Alba's chest | August 8, 2006 at 4:38 pm
Like its news that she’s a pre-madonna. I heard that she refused to do the kissing scene with Tupac in that boring ass movie they did together until he got a confirmed HIV test. The nerve! I didn’t ask her to get a test before I let her suck my cock!
MeanNate | August 8, 2006 at 4:38 pm
Just gonna piss it out.
jrzmommy | August 8, 2006 at 4:39 pm
Oh to have positively nothing else in the world to think about but the temperature of the water I’m drinking. This is one trifling bitch.
Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 8, 2006 at 4:41 pm
@3 HA! That’s hilarious! Everyone knows you can’t get HIV from kissing. Or from anal.
FeldBum | August 8, 2006 at 4:42 pm
At least she had her shirt on this time…
xTropicalx | August 8, 2006 at 4:42 pm
idiot
jrzmommy | August 8, 2006 at 4:42 pm
3–Careful. i noticed that you misspelled prima donna. Well, there’s some cunt that’s going around correcting misspellings and calling people idiots named veddyveddybadang. Your’s however, is pretty clever, like a person who is practicing to be as diva-ish as Madonna, but hasn’t quite gotten to Madonnadom yet, so they’re a pre-Madonna. That’s great.
Wanna Pet My Beaver? | August 8, 2006 at 4:44 pm
@7 You didn’t capitalize your “I”
uh oh…
jrzmommy | August 8, 2006 at 4:47 pm
9–get me my dunce cap.
SoftBlueGlow | August 8, 2006 at 4:47 pm
God, celebrities are such spoiled bitches.
http://www.VeryLiberating.com
hotplateface | August 8, 2006 at 4:48 pm
@7: You are biggest cunt on this site. Not only do we have to hear your “witty” comments 200 fucking times a post, God forbid, anyone say anything about you and you become this raging bitch.
Why don’t you pull this stick out of your ass and fuck your uptight cunt with it. Maybe then we could all get a God damn break from you then.
Tanor | August 8, 2006 at 4:51 pm
I can’t imagine what people on her payroll has to tolerate.
http://www.BadBreakups.net
jrzmommy | August 8, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Oh if it isn’t shit face. I was wondering where you’ve been lately? I was hoping you had died or were at least terminaly ill. Hey did you learn those big bad cuss words when you were homeschooled?
Hopeless_Screenwriter | August 8, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Am I banned or what? Better clean up my act for this site. What’s the deal? Am I too vulgar? Censor me fine. Well Mr. Fish. Meet Mr. Clean. I wrote this for you. It’s not malicious at all and I think you will like it. It’s called a day in the woods.
*******************************
“A Day In The Woods”
Inspired by Mr. Superfish
By: Hopeless_Screenwriter (The PG Version)
The sun, high risen, finished it’s fill of
dew and mist, warmed the breeze and sounded
the trumpet pedals, creating a perfume like
absinthe kiss… sweetening orange maples
and lavendar oaks. Pheasant, and blue-jay, and rock-swallow leapt to wing chasing the shadows of the hills pearl-gray-veil resting upon them momentarily into a purple which the sun would make matchless a little later. And on broad wings, widening in circles a hawk surveys as a suspicious fox gallops in wonderment of the fading colors of summer.
*************************
Happy now fuckballs?
You want gay and retarded you got it?
Yeah Hoo, the new me PG-Version, ain’t it inspiring?
Censored and looking for a nice temperate zinfindel and a tight young male ass to stab!
Any takers?
The New Hopeless
GAYER THAN LIFE
mrs.t | August 8, 2006 at 4:56 pm
That’s nothing. Last night I wasn’t sure if my crackpipe was lit. so I made one of my assistants clench it between her asscheeks for a few minutes. If the skin blisters, it’s hot enough.
Andeonta | August 8, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Actually they say that your body burns more calories when you drink cold beverages because it requires energy to warm it. So she’s probaby trying to shed those last extra pounds in any way she can.
YoMamma | August 8, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Consider that guy lucky….imagine the guy who has to wipe her ass, with cotton imported from Morrocco and then powder it with talc from god damn wherever you get talc from. Jesus I hate these fucking spoiled assholes.
mrs.t | August 8, 2006 at 5:01 pm
Oh, just in case Just_Me checks in: I don’t really have assistants, I don’t really smoke crack, and I don’t make people stick things in their asscheeks (usually).
Apologies to everyone else who understands that sarcasm is sometimes used in these posts.
Hopeless_Screenwriter | August 8, 2006 at 5:08 pm
Oh Pretty Bird
Oh Pretty Bird
so pretty pretty bird
Oh so pretty Bird.
Sincerely,
Gayboy
Equalparts | August 8, 2006 at 5:10 pm
I hate everyone and so should you.
UNWASHEDMASSES | August 8, 2006 at 5:11 pm
Is Eartha Kitt making a comeback? I mean, that is Eartha Kitt, right?
aivilo | August 8, 2006 at 5:11 pm
This coming from the woman who used to eat a Honda for lunch and weighed about 800 pounds.
She obviously wasn’t always that picky about what she crammed into that pie-hole of hers.
BoredStiff | August 8, 2006 at 5:11 pm
You don’t hear anything about Tito pulling these ridiculous requests…
ImSuicidal | August 8, 2006 at 5:17 pm
Was it a rectal therometer??
@15 (ampersand) 20 – Priceless, Hopeless – Were they #’s 219 (ampersand) 200 on your “365 Gay for the Day Poetry” desk calender?
http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/ampersand
ImSuicidal | August 8, 2006 at 5:18 pm
220
pixel killya | August 8, 2006 at 5:20 pm
JJ is still in the business? Who knew.
docta | August 8, 2006 at 5:21 pm
i seriously think celebrities have lost all sense of what it’s like to be a normal human being. that’s sad.
cali_whitesoxfan | August 8, 2006 at 5:35 pm
Anyone know where I can score some Vicodin?
herbiefrog | August 8, 2006 at 5:40 pm
we barely notice janet
her brother etc…
no[w] vicodin, that’s a whole nother ting :)
Jedi Kevin | August 8, 2006 at 5:40 pm
#25 – I sure hope so. If I worked for some picky celebrity I would and they made stupid depands like that, I’d be sticking that thermometer in as many orifices as possible.
Hopeless_Screenwriter | August 8, 2006 at 5:40 pm
@25 I’m suicidal.
You have a problem with my poem?
What a waste of time trying to show you some culture, teaching you anything seems to be fruitless, like the time I taught you how to fire a shotgun using your big toe. What a waste.
Come visit us at:
http://www.spankcheeks.blogspot.com
If you dare.
I have a different screen name there. You are invited. Because I think you may have homosexual tendencies and that is what we are looking for.
Bring the Zinfandel
Hopeless.
alaskanchicsickle | August 8, 2006 at 5:44 pm
@20 I will knock the gay right out of you; well right after I test some of my new toys out on your barse, I have to make sure they are just right because I’m a picky bitch myself. Afterwards, you, me, tongue borking.
vainandlovingit | August 8, 2006 at 5:55 pm
you are ugly and thats sad
your anger makes me feel warm inside
scary doesnt even begin to cover it…have a great day you worthless turd!
fblau | August 8, 2006 at 5:59 pm
$5 says they used rectal thermometers.
RichPort | August 8, 2006 at 6:06 pm
This elf fucker is one crappy album away from molesting little kids for publicity.
AmandatheWonderful | August 8, 2006 at 6:09 pm
Who really gives a shit? I make my husband put his dick in my coffee every morning to make sure it’s hot enough. Then I lick it off to make sure I put enough sugar in.
sid | August 8, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Half the world is falling apart or blowing itself up, and JJ has a staff checking her water temp, and making poor hardworking people lose their jobs because they didn’t please her fast enough.
“Bob, we’re letting you go. I’m sorry, but when Ms. Jackson was here last week, you didn’t have cold Fijian spring water available fast enough, and we need to have our guests at the station feel comfortable. We need professional conduct here, and…no, Bob, stop crying, I know you have bills to pay, but that’s just the way it is. I’m sorry.”
Hey Boo, why not show us your poonaner at a basketball game before you release this CD? Huh? Whaddya say, you uppity bitch?
ImSuicidal | August 8, 2006 at 6:13 pm
@32 I’m there, but a forgot the “Zinf”
I hope this bag of Ganja will suffice?
Suicide out.
Hopeless_Screenwriter | August 8, 2006 at 6:27 pm
@33 Alaskan: I see you got the message on my ‘hyperaeromaneuverosity’ fantasy. I give you 30 seconds and lights out. Please feel free to knock the gay out of me all you want. You igloo chicks can really Tongue Bork!
@37 Amanda: I can think of a better rendition of that, but it has to do with me dipping my cock in chocolate and you licking it off. Or better yet, I stick my erection in chocolate and when my erection goes away you have your very own real life size, ‘Chocolate-My-cock’! Bring it to work and share it with your friends. Delicious.
Hopeless
AmandatheWonderful | August 8, 2006 at 6:30 pm
Omg hopeless, how the hell did you know I like to share with friends?
nc72 | August 8, 2006 at 6:33 pm
Who wants to see her naked @ 80?
http://www.exposay.com/janet-jackson/1/c/1035/
henrysgirl | August 8, 2006 at 6:38 pm
#42 NO ONE (at least me) wants to see this bitch naked. She is so over!! Send her to Iraq with Lindsay and Heather Mills. Pleeeeeaaassse!!!!
Hopeless_Screenwriter | August 8, 2006 at 6:39 pm
@41 No one likes a ‘Chocolate Cock’ hog, besides there’s plenty to go around. Plenty.
hopeless
jenipurrr | August 8, 2006 at 6:49 pm
All bow to the Vicoden gawd! “oh holy high! Oh holy high!”
Eye-Dish Lass | August 8, 2006 at 6:54 pm
Janet!! Don’t U know that UR Fiji H20 is going 2 change its temperature when U add 20 oz of Grape Kool-Aide?! TCLTSC!
HolisticWisdomcom | August 8, 2006 at 6:56 pm
Now, I like Figi water myself, but taking it’s temperature. My god, what in the world makes someone think that they need that level of care. Do people pre-warm her toilet seats for her too?
http://www.holisticwisdom.com
Justin Igger | August 8, 2006 at 7:19 pm
SHE LIKES HER WATER COLD I LIKE MY NIGGER BITCHES BLACK WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THAT
FOR REAL THOUGH
I Fucked Your Honor Student | August 8, 2006 at 7:31 pm
@48 Hey Justin, I fucked your honor student!!!
Oh shit, nevermind, Iggers don’t have honor students. They just have kid’s. Fucking racist. Justin Igger is an asshole!!!!!!!!
ChickenScratch | August 8, 2006 at 7:40 pm
Who cares about her and her water!!!
Where the fuck is Michael the Molester? What is he up to (no pun intended) now-a-days?