Jamie Spears must watch Supernanny

February 20th, 2008 // 51 Comments

Britney’s dad Jamie Spears is apparently running a tight ship. OK! Magazine reports Britney is kept on a regimented schedule which makes sense. Children crave structure and discipline which Jamie Spears is dishing out like Bruce Lee if he ran a day care for 26-years-old. I rock at metaphors:

Britney’s father is not allowing her to drink alcohol, see her friends and insists that she prays in her pajamas every night. Jamie has also been encouraging his daughter to teach childrens’ classes at her favorite hangout, Millennium Dance Complex.

But Britney’s fighting back and plotting a return to her care-free days of acting like a batshit moron in public:

So far, Britney has been compliant with her dad’s rules, but sources tell OK! that the singer is in the midst of plotting her revenge. Britney has been sending secret text messages to her former party pal and cousin Alli Sims and is reportedly working with her and Sam Lutfi to try to oust her father as her conservator.

I guess Britney Spears is getting tired of having to take a bath before bed every night. But she’s got her dad fooled. She just locks the doors, runs some water and plays with her Barbies on the floor. Ha ha. Suckers.

Photos: Splash News

  1. fergernauster

    First-o-rama, f*ckers.

  2. Auntie Kryst

    I bet those pajamas have feet.

  3. Clever

    Her hair looks better……..

  4. fergernauster

    It’s a little late for daddy’s little-girl rules, isn’t it?

    Like… 20 yrs. too late, dick-wad.

  5. fergernauster

    She looks like Lisa Marie Presley in that pic.

  6. Brit'sVadge

    “Britney’s father is not allowing her to drink alcohol, see her friends and insists that she prays in her pajamas every night”

    Because praying every night for the two decades or so Britney lived at home helped so much, right?

  7. Duh

    When is he going to get around to teaching her that big girls where panties?

  8. murderXmayhemXmadness







  9. She’s going to become a rebellious teen all over again. That’s what happened to me last week..

  10. thegrumpydwarf

    Is OJ there to kill her? Nah…we couldn’t be that lucky.

  11. dr. phil

    jamie was gone a lot because of work, making money to support brit’s child star career from the beginning. lynne, was her mother and full time caretaker and they were constantly on the road which costs money. she deserves more shit for brit’s antics than the dad. the way lynne has acted this whole time is less like a mother and more like an enabler. maybe jamie shouldn’t just stayed in kentwood, louisiana and brit’s white trash story would have been the same minus the millions and celebrity fame.

  12. #2 – and an ass flap with buttons on it… that’s always opened…

  13. p911gt10c

    pray in her pyjamas…cause jeebus can solve everything y’know.

    Oh, and #1, you’re a loser.

  14. Mr. French

    Britney Spears is absolutely useless.

  15. grobpilot

    #8: What the fuck is wrong with you?

  16. Ang

    I think it’s her actual butt, not her pajamas, that has an ass flap with buttons on it (they closely resemble pimples) and is always open.

  17. Auntie Kryst

    What Pa doesn’t know is that Britney waits until he is asleep. Then she silently sneaks out her window, crawls out onto the branch of the ol’ maple tree and slides down the rope of the tire swing. She then jumps over the picket fence. Cutting through Old Man Johnson’s yard she’s careful not to startle his coon hound, Bleaux. Then it’s just country mile to the soda shop in the town square. She then listens to rock ‘n roll 45s and drink sarsaparillas until the rooster crows. Oh happy days.

    #2 admitted weak ass attempt to be first without saying “first”.

  18. D. Richards (Saint.)

    I’ve been wrong all this time.

    Years of eating anti-depressants and blazing cognitive therapy — all I really had to do was pray to an invisible being at night before bed in PJs. Humh.

    The world is much easier than I had ever imagined.

  19. murderXmayhemXmadness

    #15 — Some things are just too complicated for simple people, like yourself, to understand. Don’t worry, it won’t get easier.

    And for every moron who writes “FIRST!” in the first comment, you’re a dumbshit who deserves to be tied to the back of a truck and dragged through a cactus patch, then beaten severely with a tire iron. There’s enough stupidity in the world. Die.

  20. miggs

    “insists that she prays in her pajamas every night”

    So…makes her wear a nightie and get down on her knees…and then, just like in childhood, hum until she’s visited by the Holy Spurt.





  23. Grammar Nazi

    It’s a simile.

  24. Thomas

    And just like a little girl, she wets the bet, shits in her panties, takes them off and runs around outside mostly nekkid.

    This is like a bad Adam Sandler film…

  25. She’s going to become a rebellious teen all over again. That’s what happened to me last week..

  26. Jesus, no wonder the poor girl drinks.

  27. Jablome

    #24 ……………………My panties are off, BITCH!

  28. Jessica

    anyone notice the ring on her left hand…..kinda like a wedding ring….hmmm….

  29. Harry Ballzack

    Am I the only one who has noticed Mr. Andandananad (whatever) has been missing from “The Britney Show” lately ?

    #4 – It’s NEVER to late if it’s your kid and you love them enough not to see them dead – “dick-wad”
    My kid is 27 and to this day I will kick his ever lovin ass if he EVER challenges me.
    We’ll throw down all day and night if that’s what it takes to keep him safe from his own stupidity – providing my kid was as batshit stupid as Jamies Kids – which he’s NOT thank god.
    Kudos to Daddy

  30. Primadonna

    she definitely has those favorite fishnets clutched in her paws there

  31. Trover

    #21, if we are lucky OJ will kill her and Adnan, then drive off forever in his white bronco. That would be a great day to remember.

  32. tot

    she looks like Heidi Fleiss

  33. The Shine

    @13 She better be praying to Bruce Lee. I have heard that Jeebus sits on one side of God but it is definitely Bruce Lee on the other.

  34. Sir Vapourit

    Is that O.J. simpson!!!!!

  35. And maybe Bruce Lee can protect her from her insane parents.

  36. Grunion

    What kind of grown man refers to himself as “Jamie”? How about James or even Jim for fucks sake. This whole fucking family is a genetic mutation run rampant.

    Love the Brit as Rosie pic though.

  37. FuckStik

    Oh yeah Brit great plan for revenge, get set free go nuts again and wind up commited. that will show ‘em.

  38. The Laughing God

    @20 That is sick! And just what I was thinking. I don’t know about most of you but all the +20 girls I know sleep either naked, in sweats or just panties. My money is that we find out that Brit is pregnant again in a few weeks, with an “unknown” sperm donor… or maybe they can write it off as an immaculate conception!!! There are still people around who buy into that non-genetics-non-scientific way of thinking right? I mean we have a president that not only speaks to God, but hears God talking to him.

    To think, all this time I have been diagnosing, common, people who come into the ER and make those claims as schizophrenic; and cram dopamine antagonist into their bodies. Aren’t I a douche-wad for silencing god’s messengers? Eat it Thetan!!

    Britney Spear’s vagnina + Jamie Spear = 2nd coming of Christ

    You heard it hear first, and what is the “newcomers” dumping on all the people yelling FIRST? That has been going on for ages now.

  39. mamadough

    those who pick on the ones who yell first are just a little cranky from their anal leakage problem

  40. Ted from LA

    This is an obvious cry for help. Tell me one person who isn’t suicidal that hires OJ Simpson as a body guard.

  41. iurtr

    she is uglt.btw,.. I have seen her photo on a celebrity and millionaire dating site named ” SearchingMillionaire.com’

  42. dem

    Don’t you mean super-fanny?? since she loves to flash hers.

    But on a more serious note, brit really does look like Rosie O’donnell.

  43. Stephen G

    Um, dude. That’s a simile, not a metaphor. All the same, you spin ‘em like a good ole southern boy. Just don’t bust out the wrong grammatical categorization.

  44. Let me be the fifth to say her hair IS looking better.

  45. brooke

    I hope her dad stays conservator over her because if not she’ll be another ANS…I’m sick of trashy Britney, I want back the Britney that we used to know and love. Will it ever happen? doubtfully but just maybe Jamie can get her back to her old self and save her from herself. Since her parents have stepped in we haven’t had as many crazy Britt stories. I’m glad her parents care enough about her to do something. You can say what you want about them, but when Britt was younger and still under their authority she wasn’t crazy. She dated nice boys like Justin Timberlake and sung songs about her parents being overprotective. She was an idol to millions of little girls. I can not for the life of me understand why Britt does the things she does. It would be so easy for her to be pretty again. She could work out and lose the fat she’s put on and get a good hairstylist, plus someone who knows how to dress themselves better to help her out, but she still wants to run wild and be a nutcase who can’t even see their own kids. I mean if she wants to live like that why doesn’t she just move into a trasy trailer park and forget being a star? If she really wants to be famous for something other than being crazy again, she needs to utelize her parents help and get herself back in shape and start recording again instead of plotting ways to sneak out with her enablers.

  46. CleeClee

    I worry about the safety of her dogs, she seems to have a new one every other week

  47. John

    45. The reason why she wanted to run wild was because she was forced and used and controlled from no age.

    Everything from marrying K-Fed, to doing drink and drugs has been a fuck you to being the old person that she feels other people have created.

    I’m not sure if the Father can really control her in this way, she sort of has to come through this on her own otherwise she will be back to her old ways and to be honest I don’t think she’s smart enough however I wish her the best.

    Christina did the same thing for a while but I think she’s a bit smarter (plus more talented) and actually understood that it’s important to marry a good responsible guy (you can’t live like that for long). Check out all the 30 year old club skanks around – how sad are they.

  48. greystreetgirl_1983

    Our Brit Brit’s hair in this picture is a major improvement..

  49. punkin

    I wish I was number eight…

  50. Tracyt

    Please leave them all alone. All Britney needed was to know someone loved her. No better than her dad. And good going for her brother to take control as well. It is nobody’s fucking business what Britney’s family does to help her, and it is working. I don’t want to see anymore written about her. Give her space. She is doing well with “real love”, her family. Good going Jaime!!!

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