Casey Aldridge is an all-American sweetheart

December 19th, 2007 // 141 Comments

Choo! Choo! Here comes the bullshit train! Apparently Jamie Lynn Spear’s parents think highly of her 19-year-old boyfriend Casey Aldridge. Even in light of all the knocking up that somehow hasn’t landed him in jail. Jamie Lynn’s family considers Casey a stand-up guy and simply adore him and his wholesome background, according to People:

“He took amazing care of Jamie Lynn,” a source close to the family tells PEOPLE. “Anything ever went wrong, he always comforted her. He took care of her.”

Except here’s the problem: Something did go wrong. It’s called a baby and it now rests inside the uterus of a 16-year-old girl. Where did it come from? Perhaps, maybe from Mr. Stand-up Guy’s penis. But it’s cool. He’ll comfort Jamie by letting her wear his varsity jacket. Aw, everything’s better. I dunno, I’m sort of bitter. Anytime I knock up a girl I’m never adored by her parents with kind words. I’m mostly adored with fists or, one time, a shotgun– shaped like a fist.

Photo: Splash News
superficial

  1. wtf?

    You know what sucks? She is a role-model for young girls…how am I supposed to explain to my 8 year old the reason why god put a baby inside of a 16 year old who is not married?? I mean, if she’s going to have sex, why can’t she be smart and use protection? Where did Britney and Jamie Lynn’s parents go wrong??

  2. veggi

    I’d love to lick every drop from his cock and his pimples.

  3. White Power

    Are Southern White people as trashy as niigers?

  4. wtf did wtf say?

    Where the parents went wrong is telling the kids, when they were 8 years old, to look to the fucking entertainment world for role models.

  5. Ubberbestest

    He’s not being charged with statutory because the parents have to file charges, and in most inbreed I mean southern states, if you are under 21 the legal age is actually 16.

  6. Ubberbestest

    He’s not being charged with statutory because the parents have to file charges, and in most inbreed I mean southern states, if you are under 21 the legal age is actually 16.

  7. Ubberbestest

    He’s not being charged with statutory because the parents have to file charges, and in most inbreed I mean southern states, if you are under 21 the legal age is actually 16.

  8. You only have to click it ONCE!!!!!

  9. Ubberbestest

    He’s not being charged with statutory because the parents have to file charges, and in most inbreed I mean southern states, if you are under 21 the legal age is actually 16.

  10. Gerald_Tarrant

    You know what I hate, retards who triple post.

    Love,
    Folks in Louisiana

  11. Gerald_Tarrant

    Fucking quad posting is even worse than inbreeding. Go for five rubberhead.

    Love,
    GT in NOLA

  12. Guest

    what a loser. he’s not even that cute.

    #3 You have problems. Go get friends and maybe a better body.

  13. Guest

    what a loser. he’s not even that cute.

    #3 You have problems. Go get friends and maybe a better body.

  14. Guest

    what a loser. he’s not even that cute.

    #3 You have problems. Go get friends and maybe a better body.

  15. Guest

    what a loser. he’s not even that cute.

    #3 You have problems. Go get friends and maybe a better body.

  16. Guest

    what a loser. he’s not even that cute.

    #3 You have problems. Go get friends and maybe a better body.

  17. Guest

    what a loser. he’s not even that cute.

    #3 You have problems. Go get friends and maybe a better body.

  18. Guest

    what a loser. he’s not even that cute.

    #3 You have problems. Go get friends and maybe a better body.

  19. minniememe

    #3 can eat my dingleberries. they’re mostly white. and mostly charmin ultra soft.

  20. D. Richards (Saint.)

    Oh, Jamie-Lynn, what heppened? No. I can’t believe that. What a shame. Here, come over here and sit down beside me. I won’t bite, silly. You’re like my litle sister.

    You are a very special person, Jamie. Do you know that about yourself? You are. It’s true. Yeah, it’s true. I’m not lying. Hee-Hee. I mean it.

    You seem a little tense. You know what you need? A back massage. Here, turn around. Rub-Rub-Rub. You know that shirts in the way. Pull it down just a little. Rub-Rub-Rub. That bra-straps in the way. Just pull them over your shoulders. C’mon? C’mon! You chicken, Jamie? Right.

    You ever had a butt massage? No this isn’t sexual. I want you to feel better because I’m there for you. Ever tasted a dick before? No! Im playing. I’m playing. Seriously. Have you?

  21. p0nk

    Casey must be so proud right now.

  22. (_*_)

    Somehow “Guest” didn’t make the comments any more repetitive than usual. Don’t tell me – the Spears girls are trashy hillbillies?!?!!!! No really!!! Wow!!!

  23. p0nk

    guest, ….. jeeeeezuz man, talk about calling out losers, i hope you’re slinking away from here right now. seven?! xrist!

  24. D. Williams progeny

    umm Hey Progenitor! You are aware this is a minor your are fantasizing about molesting, right?

  25. nice sox hat homo

    He’s got a redsox hat on so now he’s a loser rapist poser who can’t be normal and blow his load on the girls tits which is way cooler to look at.

    #20′s strange fantasy was funny too

  26. I live in Old Town Alexandria in VA ( the crazy south ) and I am pretty sure it is full class and cu

    6-
    http://www.avert.org/aofconsent.htm
    Actually for Louisiana it is 17, Tennessee is 18, Vermont ( a northern state ) is 16. Im tired of people calling southern people trash. That is a very generalized statement. My favorite actor, Johnny Depp is from Kentucky, and he is intelligent and amazing. Maybe some people from the south are trashy, but you think there isn’t white trash in any northern state?! The most bible thumping, red-neck, people I have ever met are from the mid-west, not that they are all like that either.

    I watched the MTV true-life I am pregnant a couple of weeks ago, and the teen girl on that was the trashiest ugliest thing I had ever seen, and she was from Washington state.
    I hate ghetto wigger trash from the bronx with curly nails, that is a type of white trash that I see in northern states sometimes. I don’t think all northern girls are white trash.

    I have lived in four different states, I went to school in Virginia(south), and I didn’t meet one person there that was white trash or inbred. I have met some people from New York, and Pennsylvania that were much worse.

  27. I fit my name in the box

    Southern people are such trash!

  28. Northern Va Isn't The South #26

    Alexandria is washington dc

  29. killacracka

    I hope a beautiful mulatto baby pops out and all the other Spearseseses faint. It’s gonna happen, there’ve been stories about a doctor finding a gold tooth buried in Jamie Lynn’s pussy.

  30. Casey

    Go Sawks! I hit that thing wicked hahd, it was easy because the whole family’s retahded!

  31. Banquo

    “He took amazing care of Jamie Lynn,” a source close to the family tells PEOPLE. “Anything ever went wrong, he always comforted her. He took care of her”

    “Honey I hurt my finger”
    Well here baby, put my pee pee in ya, that’ll make it all better.

    “Honey it’s raining and I wanted to go outside”
    Well nothing like a good stiffie to get rid of those rainy day blues.

    “Sweetie I’ve already seen this episode of Oprah”
    Only one thing for it,…here’s Mr. Slippy!

    “I can’t believe grandma’s dead!! *sob*”
    Aww sweetie I hate to see you cry,..so doggie it is!

    I believe in that case it’s spelled “cumforted”

  32. Ally

    We shouldn’t talk about trashy people, we should talk about the rich stupid girl (Jamie Lynn), it doesn’t matter if you have money, or if you are white, black or Hispanic, you need to be smart and keep your legs close enough and don’t get pregnant no matter what, so ever!, this little girl won’t have any problem in her future… she will get a lot of money out of this deal…sorry out of this baby..

  33. Twinkie

    I found this page doing a Google search for “southern white trash”.

  34. minniememe

    @29 – that was K-Fed’s tooth, but it wasn’t solid gold, just gold-plated

  35. douglas

    thank you #29 for some originality………still laughing.

  36. people from boston

    26-
    I don’t think all people from the south are trash.
    people from boston?
    that is another story.
    They all say ” wicked awesome” in the most ugly disgusting accents I have ever heard.
    they are all trash and fuck their own cousins.

  37. I'm an expert on 'white trash' because i saw it on MTV

    johnny depp is truly amazing, and this is fact because i’ve lived in four different states.

  38. anon cool

    love his hair :O

  39. anon cool

    love his hair :O

  40. anon cool

    love his hair :O

  41. VIRGINIA IS THE BEST STATE!!!

    person who lives in Alexandria -
    I love Old Town . I went to George Mason University, I now live in Richmond. Virginia is a southern state, so is Maryland.

  42. The Moat

    There’s no such thing as “pressing charges.”

    A crime is a crime is a crime, and the discretion to investigate/prosecute lies solely with the authorities – the police and the DAs (or local equivalent).

    The concept of “pressing charges” only came about because, as a practical matter, if the victims don’t want a criminal case to proceed, the cops probably won’t pursue it.

    This is because:
    A) if the victim doesn’t care, it’s unlikely anybody else will, and
    B) without the victim’s cooperation, a successful prosecution is often very difficult.

    Besides that, given the nature of this girl’s life, any state would be hard pressed to prove the act occurred in their jurisdiction based solely on the pregnancy.

  43. UglyPeopleSafaris

    You know whats almost not as cool as a baby in your uterus? PEOPLE POSTING THE SAME SHIT MULTIPLE TIMES. Unless you have parkinsons please only press “post your comment” once.

    thank you

  44. ph7

    I hope the baby inherits the sum of their IQs, and not the average.

  45. @3, pull yourself together and engage your little hillbilly racist brain… Regardless of the parents wishes, I really think he should be done for statutory, actually scratch that what is he doing anywhere near a 16 year old anyway?

  46. D. Richards (Biologist.)

    #20 wasn’t my fantasy. That’s Casey-faggot finagling his way in to Jamie-Lynn’s pussy. I should have specified. Orgasm!

  47. veggi

    Since it’s close to xmas time, I think we should all be asking ourselves…. WWBD?..

  48. WHAT!

    This family is rich and screwed up, I think I’m going to sell them some magical beans.

  49. D. Richards (Entomologist.)

    #47 *crickets*

  50. mer

    #4 is the best comment I have ever read here.

Leave A Comment