Jamie Lynn Spears: Let the baby pimpin’ begin!

July 9th, 2008 // 105 Comments

Jamie Lynn Spears just squeezed little Maddie Briann out, and already the pimping has begun. Although, everyone knows her mom Lynne sold the photo rights to OK! Magazine the minute she saw the ultrasound. Apparently, OK! likes their baby photos to have that “just out of the uterus” scent. Jamie Lynn also gave an interview for the latest issue that, judging by the responses, was written by at least five publicists and a gaggle of housewives:

On being home in Louisiana:
“Around here, everyone has the same focus. The focus is family, and that’s a good way to live.”

On the delivery:
“They’d told me it would be an eight- to 12-hour labor, and I was ready to have the baby in three to four hours. I had a perfect pregnancy and a perfect delivery. I was very blessed.”

On life with the new baby:
“We get up in the morning, and she gets her little bath. Then I get my bath. We have a routine, and I love routines. I’ve worked one out with her, and we’re happy going about our little life.”

You know what’s always a great idea? Glamorizing teenage motherhood. Awesome. First Juno tried to indie me to death and now this. I can almost smell the pregnancy pacts…

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  1. How many kids will Brit end up having?

    Urgh here we go.

    Look I don’t give a shit that some teenager had a kid, shit happens I mean really I pity her for not having a healthy pace to her life and all that, but I’m not some bible loving looser whose going to be condescending. I mean we all make mistakes, like yesterday I forgot to double bag the garbage and the reminants of taco night night fell all over the floor, Jaimie Lynn forgot to bag her boyfriends love dong and a baby fell out of her taco. See I get people.

    What bugs me is that this baby is going to be used like a marketing product and that’s revolting, plus it’s being raised by a SPEARS. So that picture is the last time you’ll ever see that little one looking safe and peaceful.

    So I guess Maddie will be having her own kid pretty soon now that she’s like born and shit. Ah the white trash gene, it gets worse with every generation and the only way to kill is with an EDUCATION.

  2. L

    Fuck, teen pregnancy is nothing to glorify, but at least she’s trying. There are plenty of fucking teen mothers who leave their babies in dumpsters. Give her at least a small eensy, weensy bit of credit. But not too much, she’s a 16 year old with a baby….that’s wrong.

  3. That’s a uuuuugly baby.

  4. PottyMouth

    That’s K-Fed’s baby

  5. blah

    HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

  6. Ted from Love Boat

    Down in Louisiana she needed to be impregnated before she hit 17 otherwise she would’ve been labeled barren and an old maid.

  7. Jamie's Uterus

    I think they are trying to age her on purpose so she looks more like a respectable responsible Mother – not some whored up, brokedown, ragged out, spoiled slutty, cock hungry nympho-teenager (which we all know she is).

  8. quake

    Teen girls should have more role models like her.

  9. If Thy Eye Be Single Jones

    Barbara Mandrell doesn’t look that bad but “meh” for her baby.

  10. kit kitten

    why do both sisters have such fat necks?!

  11. britney's weave

    “our little life”???? you’re on the cover of fucking ok magazine and getting paid like a million bucks! shut the fuck up!!!

  12. kate

    They’ve made her look so old. She doesn’t look like that in real life. They’ve frosted her hair or something and put her in middle aged clothing. And for all you “men” calling women “busted” after college, go fuck yourselves. You have such “high standards” for women but truth is, you’re just as busted and as fugly as the middle aged hags you talk about. Women should come with “warning fliers’? It’s more like the whores that produced you dickwads should come with a warning cause all of you are a good candidate for sterilization.

  13. Ken

    46, do us a favour and stop telling people you’re from Canada. I mean, congrats on being rich and elite and above it all, but I live in Rosedale and still manage not to act like a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity. So kindly shut the fuck up, “princess,” and stop treating the people outside of your spoiled little world like garbage.

    Congratulations on not having children, though. Let’s try to keep it that way, yeah?

  14. justifiable

    She just proved she also has a little mind. Very little.

  15. Annaliese

    Hasn’t anybody ever heard of ANY of the following???

    1. Condoms
    2. Birth control pills
    3. Diaphragms
    4. IUDs
    5. Depo-Provera (come ON, Lynn Spears, that should have been a no-brainer)
    6. Norplant
    7. Some combination of the above??? There are so many OPTIONS. What is wrong with people???

    I blame celebrity culture for glorifying babies and our country’s lack of sex education. There are so many things to do with your life before you start popping out the kids. These girls need to learn either how to put on a condom or how to keep your legs crossed.

  16. Rant

    For Christ sakes why are they glamorizing teenage pregnancy? This is fucking crazy. Remember Brittany’s righteous attitude after her first child. The same diatribe as Jamie Lyn’s. I expect to see that whiney Chris guy from a year ago after reading this record a YouTube video saying “Leave Jamie alone.”

  17. justifiable

    #65 Apparently not. I swear, if I see one more goopy syrup-filled baby bump/”miracle baby” celebrity article I will fucking hurl. The media needs to give it a rest – these celebs aren’t doing anything the rest of the world doesn’t do already, they just do it surrounded by staff, money, nannies and generally less responsibility, so really, what’s the big damn deal?
    They also all come off as incredibly, gushingly stupid – especially Tori Spelling. If you go off your birth control for a few days and then get knocked up, it’s not a “miracle”, it’s biology, fuckwit.

  18. Annaliese

    #67 – AMEN!

  19. JPRichardson

    She is ugly. She has always been ugly. She has a Hogan-esque chin that makes her look like a man. She has an ugly nose, and looks in general as an ugly version of Britney Spears (and that’s saying something if you consider Britney’s current condition).

    She is a pregnant unmarried teenager. What is there to admire about it?

  20. JPRichardson

    She is ugly. She has always been ugly. She has a Hogan-esque chin that makes her look like a man. She has an ugly nose, and looks in general as an ugly version of Britney Spears (and that’s saying something if you consider Britney’s current condition).

    She is an ugly pregnant unmarried teenager. What is there to admire about it?

  21. Liz

    @ 60 – I have frequently wondered that myself. They both have necks like tree trunks.

  22. Veroonica

    O.k. 46? Do you have “no Children” or “less than 3″? I know you’re from Canada, but could you make up your fucking mind?

  23. Anna Nichole

    Oh Hell, the world needs more strippers from unwed mothers, so all of you need to stop your bitching and rejoice in their pitifully future existence.

  24. hausfrau

    She looks like she’s 40 and has finally decided to stop dying her hair and let it go gray. UGH.

  25. maria

    is she still a single? someone just found she is wondering on the famous online free i n t

    e r r a c i a l dating site i n t e r r a c i a l chatting . c o m , a place for rich men to

    seek extramarital relationship… you can guess what she is doing there if she really joined

    the service.

  26. dementa

    Are we sure she’s not the grandmother?

  27. lambman

    what the fuck is up with her hair?

  28. Jeffer

    I’m just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M last week and she was seeking her new guy there now! BTW, The girls there are really hot!

  29. im a pregnant teen!

    OMG…all you who are calling her a slut are wrong. she says that she is in a happy relationship and loves her daughter.

    i am 16 and i am pregnant, and im in a happy relationship. my mom thinks its a good idea too. She had me when she was young and now im planning on having a big family so we need to start young.

    just get a life and stop calling people sluts!

  30. KrispyKremeMcDonalds

    Ok #79, you’re not a slut…..

    Just incredibly fucking stupid.

  31. CrzyKtty

    “First Juno tried to indie me to death and now this.”

    Except that Juno was not a teenage mother. She was a pregnant teenager, but she did not choose to keep the kid. She was never a mother.

  32. justifiable

    #79 How neatopeachykeen for you. Be sure to do it without going on welfare, food stamps or any fucking assistance from my tax dollars whatsoever and I’ll be happy for you and your baby and your “happy relationship”.
    But the minute you do, you stop being merely genetically shortsighted and become just another fucking (literally) idiot slut.

  33. Jrz

    who did her makeup? A mortician?

  34. meeeow

    #79 you’re a slut and your mom is stupid. and you’re the one happy in your relationship, not your boyfriend.

  35. meeatu

    holy shit
    back to dark ages !!! damn ! i love america

  36. And yet the thing that caught my eye about the magazine cover was that OK!’s selling point is that it’s “50 cents less than People!”

  37. Princess

    at 72… are you fucking stupid. <3 is a heart you dumb dumb dumb bitch.

  38. Princess

    you people are just getting obnoxiously mean. who are you to judge 79. what makes one person happy doesnt necessarily make everyone happy. im sure that you werent little innocent virgins when you were 16 but you were “lucky” not to get pregnant. just because you used birth control or condoms doesnt mean that there was no risk, any smart person knows that. i think that people should learn from teenagers like jamie lynne and 79 because a lot of people would take the easy way out of the situation and just have an abortion. im not promoting teenage sex or teen pregnancies but you have to have respect for the people taking responsibility for their actions. no matter how “stupid” they were to get themselves into the situation in the first place. just because you have a child at 16 doesnt mean that you have no future or less of a future than others, it just means that you have to work a little bit harder which can benefit you even more in the long run. I agree with 85… give me a break people were living in the 20th century, it isnt uncommon for this to be happening youre all just being arrogant.
    <3 (which again to all the dumbasses like 72 is a heart)

  39. Princess

    you people are just getting obnoxiously mean. who are you to judge 79. what makes one person happy doesnt necessarily make everyone happy. im sure that you werent little innocent virgins when you were 16 but you were “lucky” not to get pregnant. just because you used birth control or condoms doesnt mean that there was no risk, any smart person knows that. i think that people should learn from teenagers like jamie lynne and 79 because a lot of people would take the easy way out of the situation and just have an abortion. im not promoting teenage sex or teen pregnancies but you have to have respect for the people taking responsibility for their actions. no matter how “stupid” they were to get themselves into the situation in the first place. just because you have a child at 16 doesnt mean that you have no future or less of a future than others, it just means that you have to work a little bit harder which can benefit you even more in the long run. I agree with 85… give me a break people were living in the 20th century, it isnt uncommon for this to be happening youre all just being arrogant.
    <3 (which again to all the dumbasses like 72 is a heart)

  40. laff

    cmon people, its not like shes bullshitting either, shell stick the kid with a nanny for the next 12 years like all good celebrities do and then find out their kids hate and resent them for being assholes.

  41. justifiable

    #89 If little 16 year old twatwaffles like 79 that are gleefully ‘planning to have a big family so they’re starting soon’ aren’t begging to be judged I don’t know who the fuck is. Doesn’t sound like she’s gonna be working a little harder at anything except getting knocked up again soon and practicing saying “You want fries with that?”

    Strangely enough, I happen to think it might be a good idea to be able to support yourself and wipe your own ass before you start producing a child that’s completely dependent on you, but I guess that just makes me an arrogant obnoxious meany, huh? And I have news for you, princess – having a baby doesn’t mean you’re :taking responsibility for your actions” – the responsibility comes after that for THE NEXT EIGHTEEN YEARS – which is a concept no 16 year old kid is really equipped to grasp.

    These are the sort of clueless fucktards that are influenced by Jamie Lynn’s squicky Adventures in Babymaking . If you seriously think she and The Knocked Up Club in Gloucester are gonna work hard to go on to bigger and better things you’d better stick to blogging little hearts in Canada, because you are one fucking delusional fool. Talk about being a dumbass – work hard to see if your Forest Hill money will buy you a clue or three because it sure isn’t doing you any good so far.

  42. Good Dead Baby Jokes...

    What do you call a dead baby in a pool????
    BOB

    What do you call a dead baby on the wall????
    Art

    What do you call a dead baby at a baseball game???
    Second Base….

  43. agent zero

    I think Jamie Lynn and Larry Birkhead are about to have a baby-pimp-off. Both of them have to make money somehow and they sure as hell aren’t going to work for it. Something has to settle the question of “who exploits SMALL CHILDREN the most in Hollywood?” Absolute Absurdity.

  44. Princess

    at 91… read what i actually said before making your dumb ass ignorant comments. i am not promoting teen pregnancy but what i am saying is that you shouldnt bash other peoples decisions because you dont agree with them. if anyhthing you should be more sympathetic to the fact because it could have been you. i hate when dumb bitches like you make it seem like you didn tmake the same mistakes… you did you were just lucky enough to not have to deal with the consequences. she didnt have an abortion and that is what i think people should look up to not the fact that she got pregnant. our society has come to the point that we are so judging of other people that an abortion seems like the better option because no one will find out that we arent perfect. well, if killing an innocent baby will make you feel better than a young girl learning to deal with the responsibility of a child your actually just a dumb ignorant fuck.

  45. justifiable

    #94 “dumb bitches like you make it seem like you didn tmake the same mistakes… you did you were just lucky enough to not have to deal with the consequences.”
    ‘ ‘she didnt have an abortion and that is what i think people should look up to not the fact that she got pregnant ‘

    Christ on a crutch, if that’s your idea of what passes for logic, I pity Canada, I really do. It used to be a nice country, before it had you as its cross to bear. Pregnancy IS the issue, you ignorant dribbling fuckwit. No one’s talking about abortion except you, and sorry, no, the fact that she’s not having an abortion doesn’t buy her a pass, nor is it cause for throwing her a fucking parade The issue is ‘pregnant teen’ and her lamebrain mother thinking having a kid at 16 is a great idea, that it’s ‘a good idea’ to PLAN to get started early.
    It isn’t.
    And if you can’t keep up and stick to the fucking point please do us all a favor and shut your fucking ignorant moronic cake hole.

    P.S. Typing “your a dumb ignorant fuck” and then misspelling “your” is what’s known as “irony”. Ask someone to explain it to you – they may have to use words of more than one syllable and visual aids, but do keep trying to follow.

  46. Stowe

    I’m just a bit curious.The Magazine HOLLYWOOD GOSSIP reported her profiles were found on the famous wealthy dating club R I C H L O V I N G.C O M last week and she was seeking her new guy there now! BTW, The girls there are really hot!

  47. noodlemonkey

    Seriously, this baby-pimping trend a la Larry Birkhead et al has reached a new low.

  48. Fred

    I think both mommy and baby are beautiful. Why do so many people hate life when there is so much bloodshed and death in this world?

  49. hdjhhdjhdjj

    I dont’ see why not to pimp her baby. I mean she’s hardly going to be doing much else paying work now. And celebrity was her work. This is what she does for her living. And who would not want to talk about such an important thing as having firstborn. You might see a stupid girl who got pregnant too early. But now she is also a mother to this child. I Don’t think that child sees her existens as one big mistake.

    And think about how easy it would have been to get rid of this child. But instead she kept it. She kept it even thouh some moralkeepers will be lecturing about her being hore and stupid for a long long time. That demans some guts.

    I’m not saying that all the teenagers should go and have a baby. But does having a baby this young give you peope right to call her with all kind of names.

  50. justifiable

    #99 “existens” “thouh” “hore” demans” “peope” “And celebrity was her work. This is what she does for her living.”

    “And think about how easy it would have been to get rid of this child” Hey, dipshit, her mom said she was just itching to raise the kid for her, and she got her boyfriend to marry her because of it, so don’t try to turn her into a beacon of rectitude. But thanks for standing up for all the stupid 16 year olds out there, your contributions above are just classic.

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