Here’s some news that’s so retarded it has to be true: Jamie Lynn Spears is reportedly pregnant again. Turns out no one told her breastfeeding isn’t a form of a birth control. Surprise! In the meantime, I can only assume Lynne Spears is waiting until Jamie Lynn is a mother of three to give her the sex talk. But, hey, that’s between them, God and an army of future rednecks pouring out of a teenage vagina. The National Enquirer reports:
“Jamie Lynn is about eight weeks pregnant, and she and her mom Lynne are hysterical,” revealed a close source. “Neither of them knows what to do, but for now they’re trying to keep the news from getting out.”
“Jamie Lynn believed she couldn’t get pregnant while she was breast-feeding,” said the close source. “She’d expected to have her period by early September.” A home pregnancy test came back positive and Jamie Lynn cried her eyes out, said the source.
Her mother Lynne was livid when she found out, divulged an insider.
Okay, in all fairness, something similar happened to a friend of mine, so I’m going to tell Jamie Lynn the same thing I told her: “If I stole your car, drove to Mexico and changed my name to Juan Testiculos so I wouldn’t have to pay child support, how mad would you be? On a scale of 1 to – how do you start this thing?”
May these words provide comfort in your time of need,
The Superficial.
UPDATE: TMZ claims to have an “unimpeachable source” within the Spears camp that says Jamie Lynn is not pregnant. That said, The National Enquirer broke the news of her first pregnancy, and they were right. Time will tell, unless Lynne Spears “took care of it.” (Read: Sold the photo rights to OK!)
#9 and #46 are absolutely right. My ob gave me the same lecture after I delivered. Hers probably did, too, but I’m guessing she was too busy chomping her gum and twirling her hair to pay attention to the relevant bits. Moron. I mean, couldn’t Britney have passed on the same advice? Wait, I’m sorry, I’m being far too logical here…
As for the Enquirer, I would also doubt its accuracy, but superfish was right–they called the first one long before it was admitted. Dang…
WTF!! See Lynn Spears, your situation really does NOT compare to Sarah Palin’s daughter. The media made a bigger deal of your situation knowing you were the bigger idiot.
Say what you want and call her: a slut, hillbillie retard and what ever else, but she still has a better car than you and never has to work a day in her life again. But, I imagine that is why you all hate her so much. While you have to keep working at 7-11 and listen to Habib your manager, she will sit back and still rake in more cash because while you work 2-3 jobs to pay for obama’s health plan, your kids are at home watching her TV show.
Ha! You are all f-ing retarded.
CONDOM MAN DOES NOT APPROVE … AGAIN
“Oh shit, breastfeeding doesn’t prevent pregnancy!??!”
“Mom, we gotta talk! I know you’re on the campaign trail, but, trust me, you need to hear this!!”
#53, yeah, driving a nice car sure makes up for being dumber than a bag of hammers and having no future to speak of now in showbiz. Which means all of her money, which wasn’t all that much–she was on Nick after all–will be gone when she hits 21. She will be the one working at 7-11 dumbass.
@Anexio — Seriously?! Learn to spell! And “the cow plate on theyre car” First, it’s their not they’re. Your usage would make it, “the cow plate on they are car.” Sound correct? Didn’t think so. Second The Superficial blurred out her license plate number. They’re not cows. Moron.
Now as for Jamie Lynn — leave her alone. None of you know her or the situation she’s in. How about you hold your judgment until you know the truth.
dear thesuperficial writer,
you guys have been slacking lately! I love your website but please post more than 3 post a day…it’s lame!!!
woah, it’s the grammar police. Chill the fuck out……
“Bacon gooood..”
wassup cracka?
What a lame day. blah blah blah…….*yawn*
What a lame day. blah blah blah…….*yawn*
TMZ confirmed the story’s not true. Sorry, kids, no more babies for Jamie!
The new queen of the vast trailer park that is America….
The cover article of the October 2008 issue of National Geographic is entitled “The Other Humans – Neanderthals Revealed” and seriously, Lynn Spears pushing the baby stroller is a dead ringer for the female Neanderthal the archeologists recreated. Could this be long sought after missing link?
CONDOM MAN DOES NOT APPROVE – AGAIN
#5- Dumbass.
I know its been said already, but yeah… breastfeeding is a damn good form of birth control. If you breastfeed exclusively, you don’t get periods until around the same time the baby starts on solid foods (around 6 months). When I had my daughter, I didn’t get a period until she was 8 months.
Stupid bitches like her and Obammy’s mammy should keep their legs CLOSED
I wiped from back to front and gave birth to Barack
Her mom had 2, Britney had 2 so it’s obvious that Jaime Lynn is gonna have 2.
Oh that equals 6, which is a bad number according to the ancient Chinese. Brit and Jaime both need to push out one more baby each. 8-8-08-8:08 BEIIJING WOO HOO!
The whole Spears family could occupy a whole trailer park on their own. Britney and Jamie Lynn are aging Jamie already looks 30. What fat, disgusting trash this family is. They need to stop reproducing immediately.
#70 & 71 – Congrats on YOUR mammy for making the cover of Crack Whore Daily…but please tell her, next time don’t gap her legs open so wide for the photo shoot, I mean, you can see everything…you can almost smell it too, and trust me, it ain’t good…just a note for next time…also, I want to extend my heartfelt well wishes to your dad who single-handedly impregnated both Sarah AND Bristol Palin…now I have to admit, Sarah’s littlest one does look a lot like your dad…,
Jamie Lynn: Dayum, they’s lookin’ at us………….y’all???? Y’alllll???!!!
Cheap polka dot dress over stupid pink tank top: 1 dollar
Dirty, stinking nasty flats: 25 cents
Hideous Grinch Hairdo: 1 cent
Both mom and daughter having the same
stupid-ass look on their faces: Priceless
She must like being pooed on, fertile as the day is long.
What did Jamie Lynn Spears say right after losing her virginity…???
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“Get up, Pa, you’re crushin’ my smokes!”
Clay Aiken is the baby daddy!
Great pic of her. I was cutting Jamie some slack for accepting consequences of her actions, but I think I’ll retract it now.
Also, who makes those dumb ballerina shoes, and why do women wear them?
………..LET’S MILK THE COW, folks!!
#78, THAT IS FRICKIN HILARIOUS!!!!!!
#78, THAT IS FRICKIN HILARIOUS!!!!!!
#78, THAT IS FRICKIN HILARIOUS!!!!!!
Great just what we need, more republitards. too bad obama’s going to sterilize you all.
Another of the countless examples of why Southerners are degenerate trash and unworthy of their Bible Belt title. Why is it that the “Bible Belt” happens to have the highest rates of all things un-Christian- having children and sex out of wedlock, domestic abuse, divorce and racism?
having kids is not being a whore or a slut.
sleeping around with mutltiple guys and having more than one baby daddy is being a slut ot a whore. dumb.
This is a sex education wake up call isn’t it?!? Running a sexual health company I constantly speak out about this very issue and it just goes to show how ignorant our society is about sex. So she says that she did not know you could get pregnant because she was breast feeding. This is the perfect example of why we must insist that the abstinence only teachings be put to an end. As I always like to say- “Today’s Sexual Culture Is Like Showing One Commercial After Another Of Hot Cars And Never Teaching Anyone How To Drive!”
Goooollly-Geeeee those Spears girls are fertile turtles !!!! I am guessing TMZ and the Enquirer are both correct. My guess is Lynn marched he lil ass down to the clinic and had this mistake taken care of before it could ruin the book tour or season whatever of Jamie’s Nick show
I really can’t blame her I think it’s her mom’s fault because I think she didn’t raise her right and with everything going on in her family she can’t help BUT to feel pressured!!!!!!!!
Oh that equals 6, which is a bad number according to the ancient Chinese. Brit and Jaime both need to push out one more baby each
Hello, your blog great, refueling
Oh that equals 6, which is a bad number according to the ancient Chinese. Brit and Jaime both need to push out one more baby each
Today’s Sexual Culture Is Like Showing One Commercial After Another Of Hot Cars And Never Teaching Anyone How To Drive!”
mira jamie yo te admiro hoy es 18 de setiembre del 2010 yo espero que vivas feliz y no importa lo que tte dice la gente tu sigue tu vid y u bebe es hermosa y los de tu hermana tengo 11 y me gusta tu serie y no es justo que la dejen de ver por que no da ningun mal mensaje bye te admiro y esperon que lo leas y vayas a Costa Rica