Jamie Lynn Spears Pulled A Knife At A Louisiana Pita Shop Fight

If you thought Dustin Diamond is the only pseudo-celebrity whose go-to move is to start stabbing whenever a fight breaks out, Jamie Lynn Spears pulled a knife during a fight at a Louisiana pita shop because apparently that’s what happens when you introduce foreign food to the south. Especially the terrorist kind. THIS IS AMERICA. TMZ reports:

The knife incident actually began when Jamie’s friend was knocked over during a fight at the Pita Pit between a bunch of guys. … That’s when Jamie went all “Saving Private Ryan” … dragging her friend to safety. Our Spears sources say Jamie pulled her behind the sandwich counter — then grabbed a long serrated bread knife and started waving it around to stop the fight.

In Jamie Lynn’s defense, she was acting on pure reflex and muscle memory in the face of danger. Not unlike Christmas 2012.

“Jamie Lynn, Bertney just said the kids done smell like pie. She’s got that look in her eye!”
“Git everyone out the door. – *grabs knife* – Y’all gots 30 seconds ’til she chews her way to the handle. Run!”
“Piiiieeeeeee?”
“Oh, we gonna tussle now, bitch. HYAH!”

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