This Truly Is The Greatest Super Bowl Commercial Ever Made

When I kept seeing headlines for “The Greatest Super Bowl Commercial Ever Made,” I wrote it off as probably some bullshit with kittens or marching bands or whatever the Internet’s going crazy for these days. (Neil Gaiman reading Dr. Seuss? Why not?) Except thanks to a bunch of you not shutting up about it, I finally watched Jamie Casino’s Super Bowl commercial that only aired in Savannah, Ga. and JESUS CHRIST. Not only is this thing two minutes of fiery sledgehammer vengeance set against a sea of corruption, it’s practically the trailer for Ghost Rider 3: Have You Been Injured In An Automobile Accident? More importantly, this metal-as-shit pillar of justice has also proclaimed himself the defender of the innocent, so clearly he should be the one to battle George Zimmerman for the lawful right to that title. THERE CAN BE ONLY ON- wait, can sledgehammers stop bullets? Then never mind, forget I spoke. That was a stupid idea.

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