Everybody Shut Up, Jamie Casino Has A New Super Bowl Commercial

Last year if you lived in Savannah, Ga., Jamie Casino threw a goddamn fiery sledgehammer of justice into the middle of your Super Bowl party and fucking dared you to call a different attorney if you’d been injured in an automobile accident. In the 24 hours following his undisputed ownership of your face, Jamie Casino transformed into the Spirit of Vengeance and became an unstoppable powerhouse of raw capitalism and unfiltered justice. A force that wouldn’t hesitate to stare into the abyss of free consultations and whisper, “They’ll only have to pay me if I win.” But now he’s back with a new Super Bowl commercial that in the emails of his publicist, who should really tell people she’s a gargoyle with a shotgun, will be “The Most Epic Anti-Bullying Commercial… EVER.” And, okay, that sounds pretty anticlimactic unless little kids are going to hit each other with sledgehammers. – SOLD. – However, I was sent a screencap of Alice Cooper (I think) with black leather wings that I couldn’t upload because it had an invalid JPEG marker, and invalid JPEG markers are fucking metal. Even more righteous? You can’t see the commercial unless you live in Savannah, Ga! — Or have YouTube after the game. THRAKAKOOM! *tries to break gravestone with sledgehammer, gives up because that shit is heavy and people are looking at me – and complaining about the fiery pentagram* What?! I’m leaving.