James Ransone kicks rapist ass

April 5th, 2006 // 118 Comments

james-ransone-stop-rapist.jpgJames Ransone stopped a rapist Monday night when he heard muffled cries for help and quickly rushed out of his apartment to find a man assaulting his neighbor with his penis hanging out. Dressed in pajamas and armed with a metal bar, James scared the guy off, eventually chasing him down and beating him a few times.

“There was something in her voice,” he relates. So he grabbed a broomstick which he later dropped for a metal bar, called 911 and ran downstairs “in my pajama bottoms – no shoes, no socks and no shirt,” Ransone says.

He got to the vestibule in the nick of time. “There was this Hispanic guy in a blue sweatshirt choking my neighbor and pulling his [sex organ] out,” he told Page Six’s Lisa Marsh. “I pictured my mom, my girlfriend and every girl I’ve ever loved and thought, ‘Vengeance is mine.’ ”

“I looked north and south and saw him running,” Ransone recalls. As he ran after the attacker, he passed a friend walking his dog and called for him to join in the chase. “I screamed, ‘Follow me! This girl almost got raped!’ ”

Ransone caught up with the assailant as he entered a building on Allen Street. He broke a glass door to get at the perp and then cracked him on the back with the metal bar.

“I said, ‘You rapist piece of [bleep]‘ and heard a crack when I hit his shoulder blade,” Ransone says. “He mimed taking out a gun and said, ‘Do you want to go to jail?’ – and made a bee-line for the door.

“I cried, ‘I’m not done with you yet’ and kept swinging,” Ransone says. Then the cops arrived and the attacker disappeared into the building. An arrest is expected soon.

It’s stories like this that remind me not all celebrities live in their own fantasy world. For every Britney Spears and Sharon Stone, there’s a James Ransone who chases down criminals and excessively beats them with metal bars.



  1. CheekyChops

    Fuckin ell. He looks like he couldn’t kick a 4 year old’s ass!

  2. LiveFromNY

    He would make Charles Bronson proud.

  3. jugsgirl

    Who is James Ransone ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?

  4. Smacksmackums

    Who the eff is James Ransone?

  5. Lexi

    Agreed, 3&4 I don’t know who the hell he is, but he seems pretty badass. He can beat off my rapists any day… errrr… that’s not quite how I meant for that to sound.

  6. DonLes91

    Guess it’s up to me:


    BTW, before I IMDB’d him, I had NO idea who he was either. Come to think of it, I still don’t.

  7. playahater101

    I have a new found respect for this guy I’ve never heard of. But anyone who chases down a rapist in their jammies is OK in my book.

  8. sweetcheeks

    This is interesting. Scroll down a little and you’ll find the bizarro version of this story: Howard Stern lets hobo spit on his girlfriend. And then hides in a car.

    How ’bout that, GunnyBeach? Maybe Stern’s worth $300 million, but you can’t put a price on manhood. Kudos to Ransone for being such a badass.

  9. Grphdesi23

    How about we hire him to kick Federline’s ass?

  10. bjpack

    This is actually the edited account. They left out the part where he recalls reaching into his utility belt to pull out his batarang which temporarily knocked the perp down but he was able to get away with the help of a mysterious assistant dressed as a penguin.

  11. schedule1

    how could you not comment on the fact that he saw this guy with his [sex organ] out and the first thing he thought of was his mother?!

    that said, go joey ramone (or whoever this guy is)!

  12. TetterkeT

    I like how he “respects women” but he’s standing in front of a picture of some chick w/ size triple F breasts.

  13. #12 – And your point is? If I unwittingly stand in front of a aryan nation poster, does that make me a jew-hating jew?

    As a New Yorker who sees way too much of the “is somebody gonna help this person, because I’m not” attitude, this guy’s my fucking hero.

  14. Catscratch

    #12 That’s a poster for the movie A Dirty Shame directed by John Waters. The girl in question is Selma Blair.

  15. saltpeanuts

    In other news, Mike Tyson bows out of his upcoming boxing match against Glass Joe, having suffered a minor shoulder injury and various cuts and bruises in a freak Pigeon cage accident. When contacted by reporters, Mike stated “It wass a fweek accident. Theya wass pigeons fwying evwewheya. It wass indubitably the stwangest thing that eva happened to me. Hey, is that Fwied Chicken?”

  16. SuperSpence

    BIG FREAKING DEAL!!!! Stop acting like this guy is some sort of hero. I once chased down a jaywalker while dressed in nothing but my favorite pair of ass-less chaps. Did I get a parade and a standing ovation? No, I got an arrest for indecent exposure and assault and a 10-year restraining order.

    This world and everyone in it can kiss my ass.

  17. mamacita


    Geez, way to be a Debbie Downer. The guy runs down a rapist, beats his ass, and saves the woman he was attempting to rape and all you have to say is “oh, but he’s standing in front of a picture of a woman with big titties”. Well, waah waaah waaaaaahhhh. I think you’re failing to see the bigger picture here. Pun intended.

  18. Italian Stallion

    “I pictured my mom, my girlfriend and every girl I’ve ever loved with a penis and thought, Wow he’s much bigger.”

    In all seriousness, good for him!!!!

    I wonder if he didn’t do anything, if he would been in the same jail cell with Jerry, Elaine, Kramer, and George…….

  19. badattitood

    The (potential) rapist probably would have run away if anyone had caught him in the act but this James Ranson guy went the extra step.

    I think the part that makes this guy a hero is that, although he appears to be of fairly small stature, he pursued and caught up with the asshole and then BUSTED THROUGH A FREAKING GLASS DOOR in order to wail on him! Nice! Hope he gets some nice hero groupie tail.

  20. Cisi

    Ah, SuperSpence, ass-less chaps? I guess that means I’ll have to let go of my dream of marrying your hilarious self.

  21. RandomDude

    I’m a little confused. The perp said “Do you want to go to jail?” Was he pretending to be a sheriff with the fake gun move?

  22. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    He looks like a man of concern. What a great guy, look at those sincere, puppy eyes and solemn face of virtue. Too bad he’s standing in front of a pictue of giant knockers, which totally negates the whole “hero” thing. What a fucking prick.

  23. Not to be a killjoy or anything, but I don’t buy it. Hollywood is phony and full of poop and lies!

    Some nobody actor chases down a rapist, spouts corny lines and beats him with a broom stick–no–a metal pipe while in his jammie and the rapist, after hearing more cheesy lines, gets away??

    Come on, I think I saw that on “Law & Order” a few weeks ago…

  24. Bugman4045

    #23 You may be right. But for now I am happy to laud some kudos on the guy for doing the right thing. He will justifiably enjoy some praise and attention for a week or so,… until the perp hires a lawyer and sues Ransone ass for assault.
    Unfortunately, that will happen. Because at the time of the beating the guy wasn’t raping anybody, he was just somebody running around late at night with his [sex organ] hanging out.

  25. Don’t know who he is, but by his detailed, novelesque recitation of the event in question it sounds like he’s running for office. Unless you’re a politician, usually you let others glorify your actions. “There was something in her voice.” Probably the “Hispanic Guy’s” penis. Hate to say it, but it sounds like his publicist is trying to get him a “cop bent on revenge” role.

  26. Nimuë LaMer

    Good for him! I have no idea who he is, and I hope his neighbor is okay… and that they catch the creep who tried to rape her.

    I hope that it’s a true story, too.

  27. PapaHotNuts

    I saved a girl from getting raped last week.

    Actually, I just let her out of the car. Too much squirming and sobbing. You know what they, “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, force yourself upon her.”

    Before I receive a hundred angry posts in response, realize I was joking.

    I never let her out of the car.

  28. Tetsuo

    OMG He’s standing in front of a picture of a woman who has boobies! There’s no way I could respect a man who both beats the fuck out of rapists AND likes boobies!

  29. Tetsuo

    Especially not when the picture of boobies is the poster for a movie he was in – what sort of justification is that!

  30. honeycomb's_big_yeahyeahyeah

    My eyes snagged a bit at “Hispanic guy”, but it was prolly the heat of the narrative.

    Anyhow, I am filing this story under “true” and going away happy, because my pet peeve is people who don’t take every opportunity available to thwart evil, break windows, shout names, and wield a metal bar (legitimately, yet!)

    BTW I am a relative newcomer, and I was like who is this HotNuts Mofo everyone keeps sucking up to?? Stop sucking up to him! But then, since a mouthful of my morning “Quik” just flew straight out my nose a minute ago when I read #27 I suppose I see why….

  31. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Mr. Nutz, it’s people like you who strengthen the moral fiber of our country, while this tool runs around assaulting friendly immigrants. And, to think, he’ll probably get some kind of reward while you were the one actually lowering the instance of reported cases of rape… it sickens me. Much like this new VAULT SODA sickens me, with delicious, energy-boosting flavor!!!
    Someone once told me I had a “rapist wit”, now I finally see what they were talking about…

  32. katie

    I think osh kosh is as separated from reality as all the celebs we make fun of.

    “Too bad he’s standing in front of a pictue of giant knockers, which totally negates the whole “hero” thing. What a fucking prick. ”

    who says that you freak? either you are retarded, or you are a total loser.

  33. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed

    This would be funnier if instead of this guy, it was Crocodile Dundee who intervened,
    “You call that a sex organ? This is a sex organ!” (holds up big knife)

  34. gammanormids

    It doesn’t matter who is he. He helped someone else while LIndsay keep hiting people with her car.

  35. katie

    also, making fun of rape isnt funny, EVER. generally i dont care what people say, but as men especially, you need to shut the hell up.

  36. Jayne

    Without taking the time to Google, I’m safe to assume that he’s actually Lee from The Aprentice who managed to make a name change.

  37. ifihadahifi

    I’m way better looking than he is AND I help maintain order in this lawless world by reporting anyone I know or see ripping the tags off their mattresses ….why am I not a famous actor – Ok, well semi-famous actor like he is? It’s bullshit.

  38. auh2o

    I’m with #25. The whole story is a bit much. If this is what happened, good for him. But the literary flourishes make me think it might be embellished. Also, not to be too much a lawyer here, but he’s in murky legal water. You can help someone protect themselves, but once you start chasing the guy down and beating his ass you’re opening yourself to both civil liability and criminal charges. This is especially true in a liberal place like NYC.

  39. ESQ

    I say totally commendable! What they did not tell us was that whoever this dude is beat his skull in until you say the white meat. Or perhaps that is what I was hoping would happen?

  40. Hello – the original source is Page Six, not the Washington Post. They’re not exactly striving for journalistic objectivity here.

  41. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    Dear Katie,
    I was referring to #12, I’m sorry I didn’t spell it out for you. Sometimes I forget that everything anyone writes on these posts is directed at you alone and requires your approval before anyone else can form their own opinion. And you’re absolutely right, rape is never funny. Neither is murder, bigotry, racism, sexism, politics, the infirmed, the elderly, the otherwise handicapped, children, religion, animals, or inorganic matter. Now with that in mind, lets all relax and have a good time making fun of celebrities.

  42. jennifer11

    even shoeless, in his pjs and weilding a broomstick- this guy is more badass than the new james bond.

    there- i said it.

  43. urwrong

    most likely Ransone will be charged with agrevated assualt while the perp/perv goes free. Its a crime now to defend your home and family now in England is’nt it?

  44. PapaHotNuts

    Katie- I wasn’t making fun of rape. It’s a serious issue and should be treated that way. It’s just that sometimes women give off the impression that they want sex, but end up being a tease and it just frustrates men. Like yesterday, I was in line at McDonald’s and I ordered a Filet ‘O Fish. Then right next to me, this hot young momma ordered a Big Mac and kinda looked at me as she was ordering. I’m thinking “Big Mac, all that special sauce, extra glance at me, she’s obviously wanting the big D, and honey, I don’t mean Dallas.” At least that what I told the cops. Man, she had some sharp fingernails! LOL!!

  45. oshkoshb-goshdammgosh

    P.S. I’m not a man, and I’m sorry I also didn’t spell that out for you by calling myself krystal2005, hotchick69, or ihaveavagina12345.

  46. That is actually good news. No celeb I know of recently, beat some freak with a metal bar. I hope he gets some more recognition.

  47. You know, I’m all for comedy at any hour of the day, but I have to go with our own Serious Katie (#35) on this one. RAPE IS NOT FUNNY!!!! And I love how the only people making fun of this James guy are the “stars” of this site. The guys who seem soo effin funny HERE, but in the REAL WORLD are probably just a bunch of ass clowns.

    There is a time and place to give some serious respect to those who do the extraordinary. And yes, what James Ransone did WAS extraordinary, because these days very few people would do that. Risking their own life to do the right thing!!! HOw many of you “comedians” would be willing to do that??

  48. that-dog-is-shifty-eyed

    Papa I was wanting the big D, but some where in the middle of I just lost interest. You know how fickle women are. Sorry I called the cops.

  49. Devil Is Chrome

    I don’t care who this guy is or what he’s standing in front of or that he’s some unknown actor –

    He stopped the rape of a woman – period. He should be commended and the rapist should be castrated to the bone.

  50. Libraesque

    Right fucking on!!!! What a badazzzz! I love that this comes right after the Howard Stern story yesterday, pussy

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