Paris Hilton and James Blunt get it on

April 20th, 2007 // 91 Comments
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Looks like Paris Hilton has already split with Josh Henderson. She and James Blunt hooked up Wednesday night and were spotted making out at club Teddy’s. A source says:

“They were all over each other. They both ended up back at Paris’ house.”

I always wondered how James Blunt managed to score with Petra Nemcova, and apparently it was all part of an elaborate hoax set up by God. I can already picture God sitting in his office dreaming up his plan: “I’ll make him a famous musician. Then I’ll give him millions of dollars. Then I’ll give him Petra Nemcova. And then *cracking up* and then I’ll put him together with Paris Hilton *laughing hysterically* and when his penis falls off I’ll jump out from behind the clouds and scream ‘Punk’d!’”

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superficial

  1. Danner

    Nasty little whore.

  2. keys open doors

    goddam typekey
    yes she is a whore :)

  3. Niecy

    “when his penis falls off I’ll jump out from behind the clouds and scream ‘Punk’d!’”

    LMAO. That was hilarious.

  4. Danner

    Oh you mean typekey that doesn’t save your password despite the two week sign in option and logs you off at some random interval? Bastards.

  5. lambman

    I like that Paris works so hard to find new ways to prove she has no shame!

  6. TaiTai

    Damn, where’d that guy get the anti-skank spray?

  7. wedgeone

    Actually I’ve got to admit that Paris has been looking pretty hot lately.

    (Ok, let the Korean undergrads open up on me now…)

  8. Sparkles13

    So it’s James Blunt in that Starburst comercial…thought that little freak looked familiar.

    HERPIES AND AIDS!
    HERPIES AND AIDS!
    I’M A LITTLE LAD WHO LOVES HERPIESSSSS ANNNDDD AIIIIIDDDDDSSS!

  9. rat_whisprrrr

    I LOVE how they have her on camera and video getting into the DRIVERS side of a car….am I mistaken or does the skank have a SUSPENDED drivers license????? If that were me, I’d be in jail right now wishing I could see if I made it on the SUPERFICIAL site. What a fucking joke!

  10. Phazon

    This just in – James Blunt is even more of a tool than he was before.

    And yes now he also has a number of STD’s.

  11. Debutantejaim

    #7 LMAO!

    #8 Not even the least bit funny.

  12. Jimbo

    Damn! I go out for a 2 hour lunch and I miss the Britney trash talk. Does anyone know who Paris hasn’t hooked up with? That tramp has more miles on her than a NASA Space Shuttle

  13. Hagman

    Is it just me or is James Blunt an ugly, sweaty, hippy fuck?

    If i saw him in the street i would very much like to give him punch to the kipper, now im thinking of changing that to a ranged attack such as a spit in the face.

    Safety first kids!

  14. MrSemprini

    Solution #1 – Nuke Rodeo Drive.

    Solution #2 – Booby-trap all Louis Vuitton handbags with enough C4 to level a city block.

    Solution #3 – Glue her cell phone to a raft that’s headed for Niagra Falls.

    Please Vote!!

  15. Even the caked sperm on her sheets has had sex with eight guys this month.

  16. tits_on_snack

    It just hit me all over again how untalented, unattractive, uneducated, and completely boring this Paris Hilton person is.
    Like I really don’t understand how she came to be such a cultural icon. There’s nothing even remotely interesting about her, and she’s not good looking.
    The whole “famous for being famous” thing, ok, but how did she get “famous” in the first place? By being a rich kid and hanging out in clubs? LA’s full of rich kids hanging out in clubs that are much hotter and far more talented. I just don’t get it.

  17. Jimbo

    OK where are her tits? She has them then she doesn’t. WTC is up with her tits? And there is no way a wonder bra, aqua bra or any other kind of magical bra is going to push those little tits into the pictures we have seen in the past. I would have better luck stretching my balls up to my chest and making them look like tits

  18. p911gt10c

    y’know we get after Tranny here for just about everything but breathing, but I do feel for her when she gets some sleazy lil greaseball shovin a camera in her face to make money off it.
    If I were a celeb, I’d hire the bald Britney to bitch slap that lil ‘tard with an umbrella.

  19. veggi

    He softly licked the blister on her mouth. He’s so sweet.

  20. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    Jimbo that was fucking gross. Shame on me for laughing.

  21. Jimbo

    @15 I vote for #1 and #2 for Alec Baldwins ass. What a complete fucking waste of skin.

  22. Jimbo

    @21 yes that does leave a realy nasty picture in your mind. Sorry

  23. YouRang

    #10 That is an excellent point you bring up. I hope the judge takes these photos into consideration when sentencing. She’s become an habitual legal line stepper.

    #17 Clearly she pays a PR firm a great deal of money to find opportunities for her to get public recognition.

    #19 Paparazzi photos are her claim to fame.

  24. thelastevangelist

    that guy already lost his penis years ago

  25. I vote for #2 and give Al-Quaida the blame, that way america can start another war against terrorism

  26. p911gt10c

    #24 I’d say her claim to fame is sucking cock on video.

  27. Wow… those were REALLY some brief 5 MINUTES OF FAME for what… uh… was his name again? Paris ex-boytoy #85,200…….? josh? jake something, nevermind… LOL

  28. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    Yes brief, but he will forever be plagued by the Herpes!

  29. viajero

    That’s the first time she’s worn something I like. I know some people say they wish they could spend all that money on clothes but mostly her clothes look so ugly. Maybe she can only wear them once because the disease germs get in the fabric.

  30. viajero

    18:LOL you can’t do that. Only Cisco Adler could pull his balls up into a bra. Do it. Let’s see.

  31. Summer Kat

    She has herpes!

  32. Oh-mi-gosh this lame retard, poser, phony, ZERO personality, dork, wannabe is so hideously gross and she’s loaded! With all that money she’s still ugly and a complete moron and guys just use her infected cooch for the notoriety that comes from one night in Paris. What guy could possible put up with this ideot for longer than a couple weeks? Every move she makes is so calculated by her wee brain (explaining why she’s so stupid)to “impress” us non socialites, but people, ponder this. The reason Brittney, ho-han, Paris and the like are so miserable is because they have the $ to attain anything in the world, which they do then still feel empty and pathetic and un-happy inside. They don’t realize they searching for happiness in the wrong way. Why doesn’t Paris do something charitable, lend a hand to a cause, or someone less fortunate instead of making fun of overweight kids at fat camp. She’s so ugly she looks like her hag mom in every picture. You can barely tell the 2 old bat’s apart except Paris is the one with the fake hair. She feels she needs to impress us so bad that she continues with the hair extensions on a dailey basis. When I had them it drove me crazy that I couldn’t run my fingers thru my hair, ever! Not to mention they destroy your real hair. Her nose looks like a penis, her eye is such an embarassment to her she wears her hair so obviously over it to cover it up from us, we know her eye is lazy and goofy, who is she trying to kid? Her meaness and stuck up attitude make her even uglier than she already is which I thought couldn’t get any worse. Her fake “baby” voice is so obnoxious and GAY! Every move she makes is so calculated first by her tiny, fly sized brain no wonder she is constantly making an ass out of her self. “It ran out of gas…I never put gas in it. I don’t know how. Do they sell walls at WallMart?” And her constant clinging to her cell phone cause she doesn’t have the personality to ignore the ideots who are fascinated by her money. If she looks this bad now I can’t wait to see her when she’s a little older. You think your laughing at us Paris, but we are laughing at you! And WE will have the last chuckle as the papprazi cont. to expose you in your even uglier years. She can’t even hold onto a guy for longer than a week. Her parents did such a bad job raising her and her dumb sister. “Gee, I want to be a pop star like Hillary d., and Brittney, and Christina, but I have no talent, so I’ll just use daddys money to buy the “career” for me. I want to be an actress just like all the other girls in the magazines but I can’t act (duh, her life is the worst acting job in history! You see right thru everything!) so I’ll just BUY my way into “movies” I want to be a model like Giselle, and Kate, but my shoe size is a size 12 and my eye goes off in another direction and my nose looks like a penis and I look exactly like my old hag mom, so I’ll just BUY that career too!” She failed miserably at all of the above. She sucked at everything she attempted to do. Her song was a joke, the video was a total cry for “Look at ME everybody! Aren’t I beautiful with hundreds of thousands of camara tricks, lighting and makeup used to cover up my real self, which is soooooo lame! Paris, you are an ugly dork who has all the money in the world and still can’t hold onto a job, career, man, dog, friend etc…I know I sound bitter, I am! I hate phony ideots!

  33. veggi

    It’s idiot, not ideot.

  34. FRIST!!!

    It’s funny when “smart” peope spell idiots wrong.

    Hey Jimbo, who’d ya go to lunch with??? SCHACK???

  35. Binky

    Talking about blunt – Colbert Nation ™
    I’ve seen the show.
    (hummmm…wait a sec, maybe I’ve misread the top blurb)

  36. FRIST!!!

    Veggi, you were reading my mind. Were you also thinking that the above comment is so long that I’m only going to read the last sentence???

  37. Ruby

    lol, FRIST!!!
    @33 so you spent all of that time and “effort” into telling us how much time and effort is wasted on this rich twat? wft?

  38. no1justminda

    Finally, the funny is back!

    “I’ll make him a famous musician. Then I’ll give him millions of dollars. Then I’ll give him Petra Nemcova. And then *cracking up* and then I’ll put him together with Paris Hilton *laughing hysterically* and when his penis falls off I’ll jump out from behind the clouds and scream ‘Punk’d!’”

  39. Jimbo

    FRIST – I went to lunch with one of the guys from the office. Schack chickened out last night. I sent the evening getting hammer

  40. FRIST!!!

    It’s funny cause it’s true….

  41. veggi

    Yes FRIST! I was. And come join us in the Alec Baldwin thread please!!!

  42. FRIST!!!

    Awwww…. I’m sorry Jimbo…I haven’t seen her on here yet today, but…

    If it makes you feel any better, last night I didn’t get stood up, I drank ales and bbqed steaks and topped it off by making sweet love to my man.

    Did that help any?

  43. D'arcy

    Mmm… me wants to skin ‘er like a lil’ piggy!

  44. WTFiswrongwithUppl

    LMFAO 31
    And no prob Jimbo(23), the funny outweighed the gross!

  45. DrPhowstus

    @33 — the trouble w/ tribble is it? I think you made your point. You don’t have to be rich and famous for no reason to be a douche. Thanks for that… douche.

  46. mrs.t

    #33-God, Lindsay, calm down.

  47. D'arcy

    47: LMAO.

  48. uwantthetruthucanthandlethetruth

    What a fugly bald headed ho.

  49. bedbugsandballyhoo

    Is Parasite paying that guy to spray smart water on her because she thinks it will make her…er…smart???

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