James Franco Hated Making ‘Tristan + Isolde’

“God, where do I begin? For starters, they wouldn’t let my character fight Spider-Man which was bullshit…”

It’s always cool to read stories about actors being completely candid about working on movies that were obvious pieces of shit and being honest enough to say, “Yeah, it was a piece of shit.” Except there’s also a fine line that needs to be walked between refreshing candor and bitching about getting paid ridiculous amounts of money to play dress up and not enough people respecting the rich, delicious aromas wafting out of your anus. So you’ll be surprised to learn James Franco has no fucking clue what that line is as evidenced by his latest wank for The Daily Beast where he whines about Tristan + Isolde and manages to shit all over the medical community of Prague. So for your convenience, I pulled some choice quotes and then offered up my translation of what James Franco really meant, but in simpler, less fart-sniffing terms:

I signed on to the project nine months in advance, and spent every day sword fighting in the backyard of my girlfriend at the time, Marla Sokoloff. I had martial-arts trainers and we’d make sword-fighting videos back there, and then I’d go over to Griffith Park and ride these Andalusian movie horses through the hills. When I got out to Ireland to shoot, they said they had a new version of the script and all the Braveheart-style battle scenes were changed to stealthy murders. All the training I did was useless.

Translation: Have I mentioned I fucked Marla Sokoloff? I fucked Marla Sokoloff.

The movie was produced by Ridley Scott, and he always said, “Kevin Reynolds is a visual director, the script is good, and he’ll deliver the movie.” But I think our personalities just didn’t jibe. [Kevin] had the idea that my character would be more jovial, and I thought he was tragic. He was like, “James, I need you to smile in this scene.” And I said, “No. My character has no reason to be happy.” He said, “James, you can’t keep playing James Dean,” and I replied, “Kevin, you can’t keep making Robin Hood.” That kind of summed up our troubles. Plus, Ridley was off shooting Kingdom of Heaven, so he didn’t help much.

Translation: Dude, this one time I zinged this director so good he quit directing movies. [Ed. Note: This is actually true. Kevin Reynolds never directed another movie again after Tristan + Isolde, so read into that about what it’s like putting up with James Franco as much as you like. – SW]

The lesson was that I will never do a movie again that I don’t have a special feeling for. I know now that you feel it somewhere in your gut when you believe in a movie, and that’s why you should do it. Don’t do a movie you wouldn’t see or don’t believe in, because movies can be hell to make.

Translation: My parents paid my rent a lot, so I just assume every actor can turn down paying jobs to star in their dream projects. Mine of course being a short film where I walk around Paris with a cock on my nose and at the end Gucci hands me a fat check. Seriously, anyone can do it.

Photos: Splash News

Tags: James Franco