James Franco Did Not Bang Lindsay Lohan

Two weeks ago, In Touch “somehow” got a hold of a handwritten list of celebrities that Lindsay Lohan’s had sex with. Except one of the people on that list wants to make it abundantly clear he did not bang Lindsay to the point that he brought it up without prompting while promoting his latest book of dicknose poetry. Via LA Magazine:

You wrote about several celebrities in this book, including a couple of poems about Lindsay Lohan. Have you gotten any response from any of these people?
No, I didn’t write anything bad about them. And Lindsay herself has told lies about me with her people-she’s-slept-with list! So I feel like what I said is much less than what she’s said.

While it behooves James Franco to deny sticking his penis in Lindsay Lohan, his argument is that 200% of the words out of her mouth are a lie which is one of the few undeniable constants in this world. So even if James Franco really did have sex with her, the fact that she said he did immediately makes that statement false. For example, if Lindsay Lohan said the events of 9/11 happened, the World Trade Center would magically reappear and thousands of American soldiers would suddenly return to life instead of being dead from two bullshit wars. Except she won’t do that because there’s no coke or international sex work in it for her, so really, when you think about it, she’s actually worse than Osama Bin Laden. My logic is sound.

Photos: Splash News