James Cameron Hates Mythbusters (P.S. We’re All Gonna Die)

“You’re still programmed to kill me the second an actual fart is elected president, right?”

The controversy of whether Jack could have fit on that board with Rose at the end of Titanic is one of the internet’s longest-raging and dumbest controversies. If you’ve debated this for any period of time, or even posed the question, the answer is, “Here, play in traffic with this loaded gun for a while.” So naturally, James Cameron is still being asked about it 20 years later, because it’s not like that guy’s been doing anything else noteworthy with his time like making record-breaking dives to the bottom of the goddamn ocean and trying to save the environment. Via The Daily Beast:

[Laughs] We’re gonna go there? Look, it’s very, very simple: you read page 147 of the script and it says, “Jack gets off the board and gives his place to her so that she can survive.” It’s that simple. You can do all the post-analysis you want. So you’re talking about the Mythbusters episode, right? Where they sort of pop the myth? OK, so let’s really play that out: you’re Jack, you’re in water that’s 28 degrees, your brain is starting to get hypothermia. Mythbusters asks you to now go take off your life vest, take hers off, swim underneath this thing, attach it in some way that it won’t just wash out two minutes later—which means you’re underwater tying this thing on in 28-degree water, and that’s going to take you five to ten minutes, so by the time you come back up you’re already dead. So that wouldn’t work. His best choice was to keep his upper body out of the water and hope to get pulled out by a boat or something before he died. They’re fun guys and I loved doing that show with them, but they’re full of shit.

And just like us, the rest of the internet has pulled that quote and flung it into your faces like the handful of poo it is. Instead of this one where James Cameron, a guy who knows just a tad about how climate change affects the ocean, addresses how Emperor Hates-To-Read is going to fucking drown us all:

A lot of my work that’s not specifically on the Avatar films—my activism—is around climate, and sustainability, and sustainable land use, and sustainable agriculture, but climate is number one. Years ago, we sort of spotted the iceberg ahead of us and we called out the order to turn, and we’ve been slowly, slowly, slowly trying to turn this big-ass ship to not hit the iceberg, and then Trump grabbed the tiller and just plunged it right back at the center of the iceberg. So am I worried? Of course. I’m like anyone of good conscience and reasonable intelligence.

I know that listening to a celebrity’s political opinion makes me the daintiest of snowflakes, but I’ll take the word of a guy whose hobbies include “ocean exploration” and “ancient archaeology” over one who pisses his pants at SNL sketches and tries to hire the executive who’s been running an oil company that’s been denying climate change for decades – while raising their offshore oil platforms eight goddamn feet – to head up our State Department. Remember kids, the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing Pennsylvania shitheels that their coal jobs were coming back.

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