RIP Uncle Phil (1948 – 2013)

The Superficial / January 2, 2014

“Don’t you get it, Uncle Phil? If I have a son and never discipline him, we can do multidimensional math!”
WIIIIIIIIILLLLLL.”

Because once again God wants to prove that Lindsay Lohan is the cockroach of Hollywood, James Avery died on New Year’s Eve after suffering complications from open-heart surgery, according to TMZ. And while I want to say he’s best known as Uncle Phil from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, I forget we’re living in the age of the Internet where everyone’s ironically latched onto the fact that he used to voice The Shredder on the original Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles cartoon even though it aired before half of Twitter was even born. Except what a lot of people also don’t know is that the character of Morpheus in The Matrix was based off the time James Avery got an AOL sample disc and discovered we all live in a computer-generated reality that allows our bodies to be harvested by giant spider robots. I read it in a viral open letter on Facebook. Those things never lie.

Rest In Peace, Cartoon War Machine

[Full Disclosure: I’m posting this entirely for Photo Boy’s reaction when he reads this post. James Avery would’ve wanted it this way.]