Jameis Winston Being Investigated for Grabbing Uber Driver By the Pussy

Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback Jameis Winston is being investigated by the NFL over an incident with a female Uber driver in spring of 2016 where he allegedly reached over and grabbed his driver’s crotch in true Access Hollywood tourbus fashion. Buzzfeed broke the story after the driver decided it was time to call out Winston for, once again, being a misogynistic entitled asshole.

If you’re not familiar with Jameis Winston (or football in general), here’s a quick recap on his personal life…

  • Jameis was accused of rape while attending Florida State University. Cops dismissed the case because it was a ‘football town’ and the accuser wound up getting almost a million dollars from FSU to shut the fuck up about it. He went on to win the Heisman and be a No. 1 draft pick.
  • Jameis got way too into that whole “fuck her right in the pussy” meme while in college and was suspended for it.
  • Jameis once told a group of fifth-graders that boys are supposed to be “strong and loud” while girls should grow up to be “polite and silent.”
  • Jameis got in trouble once for not paying for snow crab legs.

 

Needless to say, he has a pretty awful track record and can easily be labeled as the kind of piece of shit that would drunkenly cop a feel on a hot Uber driver. Here are some highlights from BuzzfeedNews:

“’I started driving, and right away, Jameis behaved poorly’ by shouting, in part, homophobic slurs at pedestrians, said Kate, who did not want to be identified by her full name for fear of negative attention and potential backlash from football fans. He then asked to stop for food.”(via Buzzfeed)

BuzzfeedNews has established themselves as a pretty respectable journalistic outlet, so I commend them for using “homophobic slurs” instead of simply (and crudely) saying, “He kept calling people on the sidewalk faggots.”

“Waiting in line at the drive-thru of Los Betos Mexican Food, ‘he reached over and he just grabbed my crotch,’ Kate said, alleging that Winston held his hand there for three to five seconds and removed it only after she looked up in shock and said, ‘What’s up with that?’

‘I wasn’t just creeped out,’ said Kate, who had been driving with Uber for more than two years at that point. (She no longer drives for the service.) ‘I was frozen.’ She described Winston as ‘very physically imposing.’

‘I mean he’s an NFL quarterback and I’m 5 ft 6. I’m not prepared for that. So I completely froze,’ she said, worried that she might provoke an unwanted reaction. (Buzzfeed)

Winston wasted little time in completely denying the allegations. He says that it was another guy who just called for an Uber on his account…

“Winston’s camp says the allegations are completely false — ‘We categorically deny this allegation. It is our understanding the Uber driver was unable to identify the specific individual who allegedly touched this driver inappropriately. The only reason his name is being dragged in to this is that his Uber account was used to call the ride.'” (TMZ)

Right… so it was that other 6’4” guy that talks and acts exactly like a person who has done all those things I listed above. What is this, Scooby-Doo? Did a guy whose face is on TV every week seriously try and claim that this is just a case of mistaken identity? As they say on that one sports show where everyone gets hit in the nuts: “C’mon, man!”

As of now the NFL is investigating the story and will probably slap Winston with a suspension that won’t matter because the Bucs are a trash team anyway. Also, Ray Lewis killed a guy and still played football.

THE SUPERFICIAL | AboutFacebookTwitter