Remember when Jake Gyllenhaal would always play the role of the wistful outcast teenager who mumbled all his lines? Well, somebody just sold that kid some steroids. I’m not about to point any fingers here, but if Reese Witherspoon doesn’t fit the M.O. of a drug dealer, then I just gave the cops a really bad tip. And might’ve told them her chin was a deadly weapon.
I’m going to Google non-extradition countries now.
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OMGAHARD | January 8, 2009 at 5:36 pm
fucking first bitches and he is hot
me | January 8, 2009 at 5:37 pm
Anyone posting after me sucks on Jake Gyllenhaal’s brokeback penis and swallows his juices
banana | January 8, 2009 at 5:43 pm
What’s up with that other dude’s vericous veins? BARF!
combustion8 | January 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm
he’s not even that big.
seriously | January 8, 2009 at 5:45 pm
@2: I will stab you in the cheek, you unimaginative cunt.
STINK | January 8, 2009 at 5:46 pm
I keep associating him with that crappy movie where the Trix Rabbit torments him.
Yes, it’s a crappy movie. Deal with it.
authorego | January 8, 2009 at 5:52 pm
The steroids are working. That varicose-laden centegenarian had to eat his dust. Suck on that old man!
Erica | January 8, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Don’t even deny that you wouldn’t fuck him. He’s very sexy.
Jake | January 8, 2009 at 6:01 pm
I’m not going to be the bottom anymore…do you hear me?!! I’M NOT GOING TO BE THE BOTTOM ANYMORE!!!
…well…ok…just this one last time. And you have to call yourself “Heath”.
addled | January 8, 2009 at 6:06 pm
and still with the ski hat on.
Rachel | January 8, 2009 at 6:07 pm
Check out Jarhead, a little known movie (probably because it’s really hard to watch) from 2005 adapted from Anthony Swofford’a memoir about being a marine in the ’91 Iraq war. That was the beggining of the buff jake, who still mumbles his lines.
Steve | January 8, 2009 at 6:09 pm
Definitely steroids at work, those guns have gotta be at least 10″ around.
lame | January 8, 2009 at 6:16 pm
Ahhhh….he’s so cute!
And #6 – Donnie Darko was an awesome movie!
Elmo | January 8, 2009 at 6:17 pm
well…. I know they’re trying to market this guy, but they shouldn’t go beyond “geeky cute”. His personality just doesn’t fit a big macho dude.
fuckstocker | January 8, 2009 at 6:52 pm
Jake Gyllenhaal
Your fuckstock is assprone, nutcocker.
liz | January 8, 2009 at 7:25 pm
the guy behind him looks like he has worms under his skin! ew!
john | January 8, 2009 at 7:37 pm
what’s up with that stupid cap he always wears? is he going bald?
James | January 8, 2009 at 7:53 pm
His neck is freakishly large in pic #6
yanks are wanks | January 8, 2009 at 8:16 pm
@5: I would love to rape your mum’s bum and take a shit in her mouth.
britney's weave | January 8, 2009 at 8:53 pm
EW, look at the veins on the old guy’s legs!
Belinda | January 8, 2009 at 9:42 pm
This is something I should try one day!
Kim Kardashian | January 8, 2009 at 9:44 pm
@2 – You say that like its a bad thing.
whimstar | January 8, 2009 at 10:46 pm
Long live bubble boy.
gerard Vandenberg | January 8, 2009 at 11:37 pm
But in his heart there is still the FAGGOT, folks!!
FoodObzor | January 9, 2009 at 4:15 am
Long live bubble boy!!! )))))
TJ | January 9, 2009 at 8:26 am
#2 Fuck you and your hair-assed mother.
And riddle me this, Batman: why does G-man screw a woman with 2 kids that must have a floppy vagina, when he could have a hardbody? You know, like Britney Spears.
Cliff Greene | January 9, 2009 at 12:39 pm
#22 No kidding. #2′s comment only works on posts about Mickey Rourke maybe, or Brooke Hogan.
lulu | January 9, 2009 at 3:11 pm
@6: i am soo soo so sorry you have terrible taste in movies.
lookin hot jake! dayum!
jane | January 9, 2009 at 5:31 pm
see also: Anthony Michael Hall
Im jealous of Reese | January 9, 2009 at 10:16 pm
he is so amazingly sexy
Lauren | January 10, 2009 at 4:41 pm
hahaha you’re hysterical!
MilfJungle | January 14, 2009 at 1:41 pm
He and his sister are lame.
hard drive media player | May 14, 2010 at 3:41 am
Out Jarhead, a little known movie (maybe because it really difficult times from 2005) Anthony ’91 Swofford’a about being a marine in Iraq war memoirs customized check. Jake the leather, which was the beginning of still mumbles her lines.
Mackfuke | August 28, 2010 at 4:49 pm
Holy crap, he used to be the bashful, humble cute kid. After watching this interview on e-talk, what a pompous ass he has become. Hollywood wrcks another poor human.