Jake Gyllenhaal is a five year old

June 20th, 2006 // 69 Comments
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  1. I’d still spit on my hand, wipe it on my dick, and Brokeback bareback him…

  2. She doesn’t seem terribly interested in him.
    I like the part where she shies away from his touch.

  3. alaskanchicsickle

    Stallion, must I use the riding crop on you again?

  4. PapaHotNuts

    I don’t have a muzzle, but I do have something she can stick in her mouth to shut her up. And gag her.

  5. tarjamarja

    Well, you know, that may look a bit funny, but consider the alternatives he could be doing to keep his nervous hands busy – like picking his nose or something.

  6. Hara

    Wow. This story isn’t pointless at all. Wow.

  7. logjam

    I think it’s cool that Jake is trying to pick these chicks up by doing his Kirsten Dunst imitation. Sure, he forgot to put in his snaggle tooth, but you can’t fault the guy for trying.

  8. alaskanchicsickle

    50 and 54 enough cut it out, that’s like so three weeks ago. Try picking on someone else for a change.

  9. ApacheRose

    58– Like the trolls that actually cause trouble? But wait, that would make sense…

  10. alaskanchicsickle

    @59 Girl, calm down, I like like Papa and Italian Stallion. I’m just feeling left out is all.

  11. HelloTimeBomb

    Hottie, hottie, hottie. Yes. Hottie.

    No stories on Jake are pointless. Especially when there’s a photo.

  12. isegoria

    I’d hit it.

  13. I’m sick of this stupid shit. I’m going go watch the NBA Finals like a real man….but then I’ll check this site out again later.

  14. krisdylee

    I need to reiterate..

    I would fuck Jake, anywhere, anytime, anyway. I don’t care if he’s queer, in my fantasy, he is ALL over me.

  15. Browchay

    He’s just saying to the prospective lady “Yes my Grannies boobs hang down to here, I hope yours are a little more firm and fruity” .. it’s all about reading the body language.

  16. shaun

    whats with the kitchen drapes doubling as that girls dress?

  17. asenath7766

    Ahhhh Jake Gyllenhaal. So sexy. Why are you talking to this girl with the fugly dress? Maybe there’s hope for me ;-)

  18. he’s hiding his boner.

  19. joey

    who cares, he’s soooooooo gorgeous. Jakey have my babies pleeeeease!

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