first time being first!!
where’d everbody go? where’s sherry-co?
Overheard at a carnival: “Step right up, see the amazing man with TWO BEARDS.”
Doesn’t she realize that he’s using her until his next Thailand trip when he can score some 10 year boy love.
Shouldn’t that NAMBLA card in his wallet be a dead giveaway Natalie?
There’s only one reason a guy’s into smurf. It’s until he can satisfy his pedophile boy loving ways without getting caught.
OH MY GOD A NEW POST! Fuck yeah. I just got so excited I got LandSauce all over my LandPanties. What were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, those pictures of Brad and Lonny. Brad’s my hairstylist and Lonny’s this guy I know that promotes clubs in Portland. What’s the big deal and why are they on the internet? Jesus Christ!
They look kinda cute together — all smiley and whatnot. But what is up with Nat’s sweater? It looks like it is trying to eat her alive. Which, incidentally, is Jake’s plan as well. He’s a crazy man.
They are two of my favorites so I think it’s pretty cool.
Thought she was going to be so pretty when she grew up when she appeared in that movie “The Professional.”
She looked more feminine at 12 then now. Look at the frontal shot. She can’t fill out those jeans better than a concentration camp victim.
Methinks my “two beards” zinger was a little obtuse.
heh. landpanties. heh
Newsflash: Playing a gay character in a movie doesn’t mean you’re gay in real life.
Damn, people. Get some brains.
She’s built like a boy so it shouldn’t be much of a stretch for him… Hopefully she doesn’t watch Brokeback and think quietly to herself ‘Jake never kissed me like that’…
10 – I thought it was awesome.
And I don’t think many things are awesome besides myself.
And I am never obtuse because fat people are gross.
That movie was confusing as shit…..So they’re saying he does like girls?
Portman’s his other beard. Methinks we all got it.
#14 – Nachos gracias!
Jake is continuing in the man-boy tradition…
ewww dude JG’s teeth are hella yellow. yuk yuk yuk
methinks you people are driving me fucking crazy with this methinks shit. methinks me may spew chunks if me hears it one more time
Yes, I’d rather be acute.
remember kids…tc loves us all
and by us i mean…the c-o-c-k
Agreed that the two beards phenom is a medical miracle; scientists should be notified!!!
Happy_Bunny: no, playing a gay guy in a movie doesn’t make someone gay. Sleeping with other men in real life *tends* to suggest that they actually might be, however.
@20 Methinks, methinks, methinks……LOL…if you threw up, now your like an anorexic lame-whipper-banana-willow fag………….
21: I had a doctor tell me that I had acute appendicitis one time. I assumed he was hitting on me and sued for sexual harassment. :)
My Gaydar is tingling.
Although he dresses quite slobby for a gay guy.
Sunglasses look too expensive for a str8 guy though.
Now we only have ot wait until he explains what “field fuck” is.
20: blasphemer!!! this is the worst insult that can be bestowed upon someone. if you’ll excuse me i’m going to go to the bathroom and continue cutting myself. it hurts so good.
Really? Something like that happened to me, too.
This doctor told me a had acute angina, so I slapped him with a lawsuit.
oops i meant 25 ahhh fuck it
Clearly I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. Hmmm… yes, I made an incredibly stupid ‘joke.’ Sue me.
Fa– I’m sure your appendicitis was very cute.
they had dinner at the spotted pig…
i did’nt know mariah could cook???
@31 you should e-mail the person who writes this shit and get them to take the T out of your screen name……..hehehehehehehe
You guys are a bunch of SLIMY SLUGS, just because Jake likes to hold dick in his anus and let it sit there peacefully doesn’t mean a thing. You’re gay only if the dick is moving back and forth inside the anus. Duh.
thanks, i’m off the hook!!!
#36 – LMAO
Speaking of SLIMY SLUGS, I wonder what happened to HWMNBN/Goatsucker? I feel sort of lonesome without someone stalking me and calling me trailer trash.
what is you are a girl and you like that?
*if…i hate english
Oh please, they’re not dating.
They were merely comparing notes about what it’s like to both have boyish figures and bony hips.
… So what’s it like? It’s been years since I had any body definition.
32: Ari – you know it! ;)
38: Well, if it will make you feel better, “Trailer trash! Trailer trash! Stop obsessing over me you ghetto cholita!! Go smoke crack with your welfare babies!”
Enh, that sort of thing isn’t my forte.
But Jack Sprat is supposed to be skinny, because…
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean…
Sorry that your wife won’t give you head…
39 – If you are a girl that likes anal but hates speaking English, please visit papahotnuts.com and fill out a brief questionaire regarding your fuckability (attach photo and resume). If you qualify you could win a big prize – in your anus.
natalie is a stupid bitch. i don’t know how to say it nay cleverer than that.
Shit. I really want to hate this, and give in to my deluded visions of me and gyllenhaall dating/marrying/fucking/having beautiful babies and thus hate Natalie portman with a passion.
But I cant.
She is pretty and cute and seems nice. grrr, at least when he was dating Dr Sunken Tits i was in with a chance.
Thanks, I feel all warm and squishy inside.
47: Ooops. Sorry about that. Looks like I’ll have to write a strongly worded letter to the good folks at Trojan-ENZ.
Natalie Portman looks like a cancer patient. Maybe Jake thought so, too, and decided to take her some flowers. And when he found out she wasn’t dying he figured someone ought to at least feed her.
even if they’re not together, they should be.
Jake was great in Donny Darko and Natalie is an excellent actress it doesn’t matter what role she plays.
Appropo; Jake was so convincing in Brokeback Mountain that now a lot of people think he’s gay
Oh they are so cute, I wanna pinch both their cheeks…butt cheeks that is…
Nat’s sweater is WAYYY too big…otherwise she looks like a pixie!
I would make some remark about how teeny she is compared to him… but in my case, that would just be stupid. She’s probably taller than I am.
Charlaurz: I wouldn’t worry too much about Natalie. He frequents a bar near my place, if they come in together, I’ll “Tonya Harding” her for ya. Just provide me with a good alibi.
Methinks Natalie has acute acute angina.
50: yeah, he even managed to convince a lot of the guys he sleeps with.
52: the water rocket principle strikes again! *foosh*
55 including yourself
56: well, I was young, drunk, and in love. *shrug* ‘Least I tagged him and don’t have to candle-bash and dream.
Great, just what I need–another squalling brat to take care of. I’ll be expecting child support! Those EBT food stamps only cover my liquor.
In that first picture he’s either got a Blackberry in his pocket – or he’s just spotted the newly cleaned-up K-Fed.
58: Well, given my height, he’ll be an NBA star, so just put the Hummer on layaway. :)
“thanks for the memories, Jake.”
I like you “Fa Cube Itches and fuck you bitches, too
@59 Don’t make fun of black Berry, it’s not his fault he’s black…….
NATALIE PORTMAN WAS BORN on her mother Shelley’s birthday
Is nice to see these two fellas dating.
Good for Jake, he finally came out dang it!
Yeah, I wanted to give Jake the benefit of the doubt until I heard he didn’t want Heath to use lube.
perhaps she likes “metro men”.
Her last boyfriend, Gael Garcia Bernal played a homosexual in *Bad Education, “La Mala Educacion”, he’s not gay either
If I was him, I would treat Natalie like I treat my cousin. Fuck her brains out and make sure she doesn’t tell ANYONE……….
Here are some tulips for your piano. Can I have your two lips on my organ?
It’s not considered a date when you both go out for a mani-pedi together. Jake – aka “Toothy Tile” to Ted Casablancas – supposedly makes Tom Cruise look straight AND sane. As for Natalie, first Moby, now Gyllenhall – methinks she may be the most famous fag hag since Liz Taylor, or perhaps a carpetmunching munchkin herself.
67 You naughty beast ;)
Someone needs to send Jake some White Strips
Re. Number 46.
Since the default identity for commentators on the Superficial is a fat gay man (with or without a feminine log-in), while you may have deluded visions of dating and fucking Gyllenhall like all the rest of the posters on this board, you better hope he decides to move to Boston or Canada.
Personally, I hate Natalie Portman with a passion because she won’t sleep with me– and the fact that my wife won’t eat any lean, which would complicate the Natalie Portman wrinkle.
Okay, here’s the thing. People are always comparing women by how they look, and everyone knows that’s not what matters.
Here’s the deal: Dunst, while not a feast for the eyes seems a bit more liberal, meaning you get her in the sack and she’ll show you a good time. Portman on the other hand is quite the pretty, but she’s too cerebral. You put her in your bed she’s gonna be thinking about how she feels, you feel, does she still look pretty, how she smells, she’s gonna be tense the whole time and suck.
What I’m trying to say is what matters is the sexin’. If you put her in bed and she does her duty. Then she’s a keeper. If not, I don’t care how cute she is, it isn’t worth it.
You can have all the pretty in the world, but if you’re a lousy lay nobody wants you.
I think that might be Halle Berry’s problem.
#72.. umm.. duty?
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh: you need to learn how to read.
i didn’t say i like it in the ass, i asked a question.
about hating english, i can bet you that i have read more then you are your whole family combined.
also, i speak 3 other languages. take that you rat bastard.
They’re perfect. I think he bats for the other side and she looks like a little boy.
Was that superficial enough?
why the hostility topaz?
bananaman, that may be the first funny comment you have ever made. of course, i’m biased because i hate that stupid bitch natalie with a raving passion.
Sheva, #5 (how’d I miss this one?)
Speaking of ‘smurf’.. I’m 5’1″. Does that make me a substitute for little-boy lovin’?
We’ve already gone through the whole “speak other languages” bit yesterday with Goatsucker. The language translator was a blast.
” i can bet you that i have read more then you are your whole family combined. also, i speak 3 other languages”
‘A’,’B’, and ‘C’ aren’t languages, they are letters, and you can’t even use those in recognizable combinations in the English language. So, that would make you illiterate in how many languages; or don’t you know numbers either?
77: If you were just a hair shorter, I’d be nuts over you!! ;)
Speaking of ‘hair shorter,’ how’s that high & tight workin’ for you?
Or, I guess the real question is, how can it work for me?
I’m still trying to figure out what B4USUCKMEDRY meant by a woman “doing her duty” in the sack. What fucking year is this?
i think they’re cute together…
um… what’s better than 2 dorky people together?? maybe their relationship with work
How perfect they are for each other….ugly ugly ugly!!
Ari: working quite well, thank you. I’ll be happy to give you a demonstration. :)
I suppose B4 likes his women to “lie back and think of England”.
I always thought they were both kinda cute — Awwwwww ….
84- How dull. Why bother then?
Just to clarify– I find the concept of lying still and merely enduring sex dull, not Fa Cube’s demonstration. I rather doubt I’d find that dull at all.
Actually B4 is a girl.
And quite good in the sack.
I say ‘duty’ just for the amusement.
Now go put your bonnet on.
Fa and Ari – you 2 being good…well not that kinda good, behaving kinda good
Feed_me – whats up gurlie? I want to tell you I think you totally rock. You are young, bought a house in a stupidly expensive area, crazy about your husband and your child. That is what life is about :)
Whimpy – BOO
Hiya Pagan. :)
I think the God Loki was with me today. I pulled up the ‘fish and saw this cute guy in a suit, then I scrolled and saw it was K-Fed! So, now I have had to book myself into a psychiatric hospital because I just cant deal with what I thought. the pain, the pain
I think Jake and Natalie make a really cute couple. Look at them laughing, you know they stuffed the wiater for the check!
Pagan Queen! (or should I call you “Poo Poo Queen”-ha!) Good to see you. Thanks for the endorsement, but don’t worry about it, goatsucker means nothing to me.
that forehead has some serious ad space.
I notice a distinct absence of whimpy today – but the other personality is on. I can handle that one better, he has been really funny a time or 2.
So – still at work? It was long again today. I will be on a business trip heading out Tuesday AM, so tomorrow and Monday will be ill with all kindsa last minute stuff.
Pagan, Fa and I are getting along just fine together. He’s helping me with my headache. Such a nice guy. ;)
Loki–that twerp. Always causes trouble when he shows up.
Like I posted on Anna’s sad news: beware of men with asprins and the like. They expect favors when you feel better! LOL
“Take two and make me breakfast in the morning?”
Hey, if they are hungry they can hit a Micky D’s on their way home. badda boom! LOL
Well – gotta run. Gotta get my little one to sports.
I totally don’t agree with any of you.
He’s cool, she’s cool. Lovely couple. Maybe you are all saturated by that terrible non-consequentail media you have over there.
I actually saw one post by the goatsucker, in one of the other threads. Funny thing was, it posted right after the other personality. I had a laugh.
So what are you doing on this American site?
This is called the world-wide web. Just because you don’t cross your borders doesn’t mean that the whole of the rest of the world does.
I am so relieved to learn that Jake-Gyn is not gay!!! Now I can watch Bubble-Boy without the whole “Man-in-the-nutsack) image, and enjoy it’s cinematagrophy.
However, I am deeply disturbed to learn he is a pedophile.
Argh fuck — you got me talking angry.
On your way home yet?
…and I think if they did it, the word is Pederast.
TOPAZ21, what are your 3 other languages?
Nice news article. I find articles with headlines ending in question marks to be compelling and informative.
Aren’t there any Robbie Williams gossip sites you can go on over there?
Tranny: could also be “Yahtzee” from all those bones rattling together.
Yeah, crazy xylophone sex, that’s hot.
Thunderstorms make me very horny. Wish I had a goat right now.
It may be a question mark for you, but whe you have had a week of repoting ‘how are we going to couch this to the American public’ you get a bit worried.
Re: Robbie Williams, he did lift the international cup for a 6million pound (that’s 240,000 dollars) charity game this week, so back off.
Wish I were a goat in Bodymore….heh.
Cruising, ditto on the thunderstorms… but not the goat.
Hahaha I fucked myself there — Iprobably meant 24m.
Even so, I’m sat here in a terraced house thta probably costs as much as one of your skyscrapers, so who gives a toss?
@115 If you were in Bodymore, wouldn’t need the goat.
Moriarty, It’d be easier to take you seriously if there weren’t a typo/misspelling in every single one of your posts. If you’re English, shouldn’t you know it?
waht hte kucf rea uoy alktnig bouat?
Well, we fired our guns, and the British kept a-comin’,
There wasn’t nigh as many as there was a while ago.
We fired once more, and they began a-runnin’,
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Well they ran through the bushes
And they ran through the brambles
And they ran through places that a rabbit couldn’t go.
They ran so fast even hounds couldn’t catch ‘em,
Down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
Yeah okay — I spilt a glass of wine over my keyboard. Which hopefully is commendable. The rest is true though…
It looks like he’s dating a pre-teen and in the first picture it’s as if he’s explaining the meaning of life to her. If anyone actually knew the meaning of life, it would be her.
Yes – I’m sorry about the anomalies, Hurley et al.
You are still ducking out of things – as per my first post.
If by “anomalies” you mean “pattern of typos and inaccuracies” then, it’s ok.
Now go back to reading about Robbie Williams. We’re counting on you to keep us abreast of the latest.
118: I think Delta’s supposed to be ready when I am. *glance down* Yup, I’m ready….where’s the damn plane?
You can’t be for-real.
Was your first post about our “non-consequentail media”? If so, nobody was ducking out, unless by “ducking out” you really mean, “unfamiliar with made-up words”.
As I say to my ESL students, take a moment, think about what you want to say, and use words you’ve already learned.
1) #100 Moriarty,
non-consequential media? Over here?Riiiight, and the Brits are so innocent when it comes to celebrity gossip mags.
2) I would fuck Jake up, I would fuck Jake down, I would fuck Jake all around the town,
I would fuck Jake soft, I would fuck Jake hard, I would fuck Jake right in the middle of my yard.
The world’s media is reporting news that cannot be leaked to you — 365m people.
That is a fact. Those who can’t do, teach.
Gossip mags aren’t in question — they are everywhere. It is just that you don’t get the real new that is (very) worrying.
news… fuck my English steam-powered keyboard
(we are still better though)
Yeah ’cause God knows the Beeb and other “world” news orgs have always been at the forefront of reporting. If I recall, there was some unpleasantness for about 30 years to your west, yet your own media couldn’t even mention who was involved. Not even when crap was blowing up in London.
Is Jake Gyllenhaal gay? Jake gave an interview with on Brokeback with “gay.com.”
So let the man speak, …
Ledger has already spoken of his nervousness about taking on a gay part, but Gyllenhaal says he understood the universal aspects of the relationship, despite his friends’ reactions.
“They’re all like, ‘Dude, you’re gonna kiss a guy,'” he said in a recent interview. “But it’s not about that for me. It’s about how impossible love can be sometimes, and I can relate to that.”
“As well as that, every man goes through a period of thinking they’re attracted to another guy.”
Jake says it’s perfectly normal to have homo-erotic fantasies about other men. So relax, it’s not like he’s acting on them, …
all bs aside, email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
But look on the bright side…
Once you guys get Sharia, you won’t even have to worry about any news sources.
Oh, and British ass clown ( and you know who you are ), … fuck off.
Yoda….yah you are gay, we get it. i’m ok with that. Suck some cock, take some ass slamming. whatever make you, you man…..you fucking faggot
who knows me?
I wouldn’t fuck you with Pussy Willows dick, but with a name like “TrannyGranny”, god knows you’d love it, …
Sorry… guess again, Yoda.
Tranny’s cock belongs to the girls here.
Excluding Edna, who is probably a man, no girl here is desperate enough to fuck a scrawny Grizzly Adams-immitating, ass-fucking, cock-sucking, bitch with a Napolean complex.
So no, I wouldn’t count on any “action” if I were you.
Hey Tranny, there’s something special waiting for you in your email.
It just occured to me, but why isn’t Ang Lee making any funny faces in these pictures?
144: Yeah, turnabout is fair play!
I think they look really cute together – well yeah really normal and relaxed. How sweet :)
Although…. JUMPER TUCKED INTO JEANS NOT CUTE AT ALL!
I’d like to fuck him in broad daylight… doggy-style, definitely, cuz of the fag factor.
I think that’s the British word for sweater…I came across that reading Harry Potter (yes, geek) and it confused the crap outta me. Why they’d call it a “jumper” is beyond me, but you know, those wacky Limeys…
…so, in closing, in the style of Mr. Secure White Shrivelled Ballsack Obsessed with Libtard’s Salads,
GET YOUR FUCKING WORDS RIGHT, BRITTARDS!
Feed_Me.. I’ve read most of the Harry Potter books too. Because, you know.. if a book is thought to possibly be Satanic, I’ve got to look closer.
So, you’ve read “some” of them too? Well i don’t want to spoil it for you,
Oops, that might have spoiled it a wee bit.
I actually knew that, but thanks. My eldest girl-kid read the latest book in about two days and complained nonstop about that.
Where did everyone go? Oh, I know, you’re all watching the Scripps Spelling Bee, huh?
152 You crack me up. My best friend did that to me, she read it first, and while reading shouted out “Oh my God, Dumbledore died!” I could have smacked her.
Feed_Me, I dunno where everybody went. Bummer. And I was having so much fun too. :(
I suppose maybe some people have to get up in the morning, so they may have wandered off to bed.
156: *tickle* still here.
154 The blonde girl wins!
And don’t tickle me… Unless you want me to squirm, scream and possibly slap you.
158: The guys’ six year run is over?? Aww. Anyone faint this year?
Did you know that there are actually roto leagues for the Spelling Bee? You can bet on it, too. Kinda spooky.
Why the hell would anyone bet on a Spelling Bee?
160 Actually, the morning show I listen to had a bet going which is why, when I caught it, I stopped. Seriously though, I felt stupid and I only watched the last 15 minutes.
When I say I felt stupid, it is because I never knew those words existed. I’m done now…off to study DICKTIONARY….YEAH…that was on purpose. I’m just funny like that.
I got stuck in a spelling bee when I was a kid. I misspelled about the third word, just so I could get off the stage. I’m shy that way.
If anyone even PRETENDS like they’re going to squueze the top of my knees, I start twitching. I’m so ridiculously ticklish. I end up laughing and squirming a lot in bed, at inappropriate times. My husband will be trying to be seductively kissing my body, and I’m cracking up.
I’m that way too, especially on my back. It’s one giant erogenous zone, but my middle and lower back are also very ticklish. It’s like… erotic tickle torture.
That’s right, I keep forgetting about the different time zones. What state are you in?
Back of knees, inside of elbows, inside of upper arms…being french kissed behind my knees makes me almost pass out, it’s that erotic tickle torture you’re talking about…
I’m getting sleepy too, which I don’t really understand, since I slept til damn near noon today. I was up til about 4 this morning; my little one was having an earache and not resting well.
K, well I’m going to go finish watching So You Think You Can Dance (I heart Tivo) and turn in.
78: I think it’s time to work on your myspace account. maybe take some paint classes so you can paste your fugly face better into pictures. also, unlike you, i don’t spend 23/24 hours of my day on this site to keep a track of what happened.
79: i got my degree in a social science and i took diff eq, so yeah i can do more then just count. oh, thanks for the reminder that AB&C aren’t languages…you’r just too
109: I speak French, Farsi and Hindi.
god damn you feed_me…
I just went to your myspace account and damn damn you for the song. i love it! it’s my ringtone…
No ‘nipples’/’no bra’ comments?
Jake Gyllenhall is not gay because he has never visited the top gun in Colorado.
Also people say what you want about Natalie Portman but she is one of the hottest women on the planet as far as Im concerned. Id hit it til I had to quit it.
Brokeback Mountain was lame ass (no pun intended)movie making at its finest.
i hope i’m not setting myself up here, but i DO read the boards faithfully, and toss in a comment once in awhile.
i want to play with the big guns!! maybe i ain’t so bright, all the time, but i’m a larnin!
pipe dreams, pipe dreams, i SO got into last weekend’s, uh, lovefest?? keep up the good work, gang.
always 100% peta free!
maybe some one would take me under their wing? stallion, papa, big jim? or under something? a girl gets lonely when the pool cools down : 0
kidding. maybe its somewhat sad that i respect most of y’all.
and that is NOT a kiss ass statement. *sigh* mai tais and neked swimming only keep a girl out of trouble for so long. speaking of which…….
i’m gonna have to count farsi & hindi as one language. so your total is three: english, french and farsi/hindi.
OK, lets get this straight (Pun intended)
He showed up to pick her up with a bunch of flowers….and instead of putting them in a vase in her apt. as most girls would, she carrys them around with her so all the photographers outside can see that she is carrying a bunch of flowers he brought her…. Gee, Jake, those gay rumors getting so loud that you had to ask Nat to do you a favor and go on a fake date?! Again, on a REAL date she ain’t gonna carry those flowers with her the whole day. Unless of course he wanted her help in picking out a lovely new duvet cover and asked her to bring some tuplips becuase he thinks that that color in a Duvet cover would be “Fabulicious!”
#134 Yoda, As for Jakes comment…
“As well as that, every man goes through a period of thinking they’re attracted to another guy.”
That actually is not true, that is usually said by gay guys who are trying to explain their own feelings by making it seem like all guys go through it. Guys are HORNY creatures. Trust me, if all guys at one time or another got horny for other guys then there would be a LOT of lonley women out there because they would be acting on those feelings…..or dating Kirsten Dunst.
Being that he’s a gay cowboy, she’ll really find out what the dark side is all about!
Whoever invited that bugger Moriarty here, please tell him to go whack off Robbie Williams and his totalitarian loving boyfriend George Galloway.
Then tell the anti-American BBC leftists to fuck off.
it’s what your right hand’s for :)
you’ve seen al bundy dont you?
boys just know to leave an entry point
we know a song about that :)
…and on another subject…
every now and then people
got a little too close.
so long time ago we told
someone we were a big
you know what?
i think she still believes me :))
[how was vegas ? :) ]
herbiefrog, whenever you post I hear a solemn bass being plucked and some sparse bongo being played. Occassionally some smooth notes from the sax. And then I’ll smell reefer in the air and someone will say something about “cool cats” or “dig it”.
I just figured it out. You’re that weird beatnik frog from Honey Smacks cereal. Get out of my head you hippie beatnik cereal frog poet!
I have nothing nasty to say about these two. Good for them!
It’s nice to see they dressed up for their date. I know I always make sure not to wash my hair beforehand, and I swoon over guys who pick me up wearing raggedy looking henley shirts and jeans with bleach stains on them.
and on another subject :)
…i worked in that
…that it is
…a business :(
met, ate, drank with the
highest who thought
hi guys :)
Herbie frog, were you raised by the Spears family, because my guess is you were dropped on your head as a baby, many, many, times……..
Black strip clubs are really strange.
mmm honey smacks… I knew I shouldnt have skipped breakfast this morning. But, unfortunately shower sex was priority.
Yeah Papa, you can’t turn a stripper into a housewife.
as quoted in I’m in Love witta strippa
@191 What was it called “Bada Bling”….or “Gorillas in the Mist”…..
Cute Stallion. Our city mayor here the other day called our Fire Chief (a large black man) King Kong.
All over the news.
How about “Brass Monkey”?……
@196: How ’bout the Rib Cage. That’d bring ‘em in.
All I know is that black chicks dig me. Well, most chicks dig me, but the Africans have a deep fondness for the hotnuts.
I used to work at a black strip club.
P.S. I’m white.
It actually worked in my benefit a lot of the time. And I learned a lot of cool dance moves, like the upside-down pussy pop, or the classic freak ho elbow-to-toe switch on a handstand triple lundy. That last one was tricky.
Hey… how come the link to my myspace didnt work? pfft
@198 Do people from Louisiana smell like chicken?
201 – No but they sho’ don’t eat no pussy.
202- Then what good are they?
o0o It worked!
I’m going to leave that one alone.
Some classy date Jake. Dumpy jeans, ratty shirt, and a scruffy beard, that’s sure to impress her. He sure looks like a big spender too. Limp tulips in cellophane and a doggie-bag for the walk home. Oh well, it doesn’t look like she put too much effort into it either.
Some smell like chicken, some smell like tuna. Just depends on what you’re in the mood for. Poultry or seafood, it’s what’s for dinner.
The cajun man’s ballsack smells like crawfish on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Aiiieeeee! Ce Les Bon Temps Roulle!
Wow, Stallion, that was highly informative. I’ll keep that in mind next time I’m pussy-poppin’ on a handstand.
Stallion- this is who I was talking about:
No, they smell like stagnant water and rotting corpses.
*cringe* I think I may have over that line.
Pimping ain’t easy.
“A bid to ban cockfighting in Louisiana was crushed Thursday by the same House committee that has rejected similar bills for years.”
Thank God for that. My cock is a grand champion and I ain’t ready to give up the title yet. Any of you ladies lookin’ for a fight?
I’ll be your chickenhead
I love you pinky_nip.
I meant, “have GONE over”
I love you long time.
@217 We know what you meant you fucking racist…..
No shit, “Let’s make fun of the dead in New Orleans!” Pretty tacky.
When I lived in New Orleans, every person I met smelled like me when I’d been out drinking all night for some reason.
219 & 220
So it was okay to make fun of Terri Shiavo & Susan Smith’s dead kids yesterday, but not the people in New Orleans? Double standards, people. And it was a JOKE. Geez, lighten up.
I’m sure Terri Schiavo smells pretty bad at this point, but the two are like apples and orages. Dead, rotting apples and oranges.
@222 no shit it was a joke, as was my response, kind of like if I said you should change your name to Feed_Me_Anything because it does’nt look like your to picky…….
Terri Schiavo didn’t have season tickets to the Saints, did she? NO. Therefore I can’t support her.
Ooh, now we’re going to the “you’re fat” insults. How original. How lamebananas.
We could talk about your beak, if that makes you feel better.
Just an idea.
I rarely post on the SF, I just wait for people like Papa, Stallion, Osh, Pink, and several others to post so I can laugh at work. But I have been wondering, why would someone so obviously unattractive as Feed_Me_Chocolate put a link to her picture? You look like a fat Iraqi woman with a huge Jew nose.
Big nose, big dick.
And, take it away, Ms. Pickle!…
This could get ugly. Wait, I just clicked on her picture, and I am right. Things just got ugly.
179: Hindi and Farsi are both quite similar, but I wouldn
Oh, so now who’s the fucking racists? And I don’t give a damn what you think about what I look like. So now go back to sucking on your pickle.
feed_me_shit…really move on. get a job, go clean the house, go for a walk…for 30 minutes leave us alone. please!
You look like you’re eating a pickle in your picture. Wait, my bad, that’s your nose.
swedish & german are also “quite similar” & because NObody speaks swedish (9 million=nobody) & ALL swedes speak german AND english, the swedish doesn’t count. see?
same with farsi.
swedish + german = 1 language
farsi + hindi = 1 language
don’t be mad. just learn another language.
a germanic or slavic on this time would be nice.
edna please report feed_me_ to the INS
Hey everybody, why can’t we all just hold hands and get along and….oh wait, this is the superficial, I forgot. Well in that case Tom Cruise likes the way Land-Man juice feels running down his leg.
You can all go back to fawning all over yourselves and patting each other on the back for being vindictive bitches.
Papa, let me take you to this awesome blacks strip club in Monroe. It’s called the Boat because it’s in a building that’s shaped like a boat (old seafood restaurant) and the inside is about 300 square feet. The stage is on the floor and the girls get fingerbangeed by clients while others walk around and ask you if you’d like to be their pimp. No shit.
i’m thinking of chinese…
Papa, you’re so mean.
But i am in love with you.
Show me yours* & I’ll show you mine*,
“One last thing before I quit, I never wanted anymore then I could fit into my head, I still remember every single word you said, and all the shit that same how came along with it, still theres one thing that comforts me, since I was always skinny, not like Feed_me………..”
“Don’t want to be a Chunky Monkey wench”
Osh, I’d like to go, but only if I can get Colt 45 in a bag.
But anyway, back to the topic du jour: Feed_Me_Chocolate somewhat resembles Bert of Bert and Ernie, if Bert was an ugly woman with a boxer’s bone structure. Zap!
Dudes gay and she looks like a little boy. Makes sense to me. Just wondering if she straps it on.
Kobe steak is the shit.
oh no, don’t cry feed me
I usually refrain from back-and forth bickering (unless it’s lamebananawhippercunt), but this is really fun. I hope I don’t hurt your feelings
It’s all in good fun, until I saw your picture. Then it became personal, because my 3-year old saw it too, and now he’s hiding in the pantry from the “Middle Eastern Hook-Nosed Jew Monster”.
anyone seen the da vinci code???
you should probably quit now before everyone starts throwing maxi pads at you and telling you to plug it up. my my how the superfish tables have turned.
You have to bring your own, and it has to be in a bag. Seriously.
I drank a bottle of Hypnotiq with my girl friend while we were there and we got lap dances to Master P and UGK’s “Pulla Kick Door”. It was superb.
Papa, what do you look like???
Inquiring minds want to know.
and can we get another post up in this piece??
papahotnuts, you are my hero.
for the day.
da vinci code was booed at cannes. i’m not eager to see it.
Thank You For Smoking was good. go see that.
255: oh yeah, i forgot about that movie. i’ll go see it soon. thanks.
I am sick of seeing these 2 fags everytime I pull up superfish… are they going to post or what? Sheesh!
p.s. I think y’all scared away chococate. Anyone who cant play nice… come play with me :]
Damn you guys are harsh. Way to turn on your own! Feed_Me, don’t be sad. It’s just like when we call Kelly Clarkson a whale–it’s a little true, but we like to blow it out of proportion, because you know, we’re all assholes here. I think you are a beautiful girl.
Hey hurley, please pay attention! http://www.myspace.com/papahotnuts. I was thinking about linking my own myspace page but you can fuggeddabout it now.
Osh and Papa, you guys are dicks. Hilarious dicks.
@253 Hurley (or anyone else for that matter) I am more than happy to send you a picture.
Or you can ask Osh.
Feed_Me looks like she smells something …
Maybe it’s the far reaches of the galaxy. I heard the far reaches of the galaxy smell worse than New Orleans on a hot August afternoon.
Booface, that link won’t work? What did you do it?
I swear, I leave for 10 minutes and come back to an absolute shit fling.
The true litmus test of sexual preference here is whether either of them are driving a Prius. It is the gay and lesbo car of choice.
take the period off of it. then it will work.
i thought lesbians like Subarus. anyone ever hear that?
and gay guys drive jettas.
i drive a kia cuz i’m broke & it was cheap. :(
Hurley-check your email. You are very easy on the eyes. Send me another one, but this time, lose the clothes. And that midget. That was just weird.
let’s not eat our own people…feed_me said it was a tad harsh…save the hate for the lame/katie/willow/edna/meganharris’s of the world…
besides, if the fucking mayor did’nt let those busses flood and got those people out, carnage may have been less…
are you happy about all those “poor souls” who scammed the government and spent FEMA money on drugs and lottery tix??
I don’t remember what Papa looks like. All I remember is the searing pain and burning pleasure tearing me apart from the inside, balls everywhere – and before I blacked out I thought I heard him say “I’ll call you sometime” as he grabbed his clothes and ran out the door.
266 Well said, but it will fall on deaf ears, they are too busy licking up each other’s feces.
don’t forget sherry-co.
what happened to her, anyway?
or does she only post on tom cruise stories? (tcltc)
maybe sherry-co is posting under another name…
this is what happens when certain people stop posting and the SF take so fucking long to put up another story…
hey, when i got bored as a kid i would smack my sister in the head just for something to do…
but i still love her…
everyone said they were equal opportunity offenders. why should one person be excluded? sorry but this should be a lesson. dont post your corny myspace page filled with pics of you that you know people will pick on, try not to spend every waking minute on the superficial. and lastly dont come to the superficial to make friends.
spatz, i second you on that one.
slow at work today…4 more hours of this hell and then off to a “meeting”
This thread needs to be Terri Schiavo’d. And by that, I mean impregnated while it’s lying there, helpless.
thanks papa. that’s sweet. but until i look like “bored blonde” i won’t be linking myself.
“every waking moment”
Spatz, well spoken.
Doc Rok, she drooled with the best of ‘em, didn’t she? I still miss her, that blank stare at the ceiling, a drug-induced grin, and that sassy haircut.
I’m off to hell now.
agreed…but it should be directed to the “beautiful people”, not someone who agrees with 99% of everyone here…
and if i recall, the day she posted her pic, it was all good…
much ado about nothing…
word. i think sherry-co only posted here during the tom cruise MI3 fiasco. shes long gone. frankly, this joint hasnt been the same since MI3 came out and TC stopped eating babies.
It’s those backless hospital gowns that get me. She may have been persistantly vegetative, but she still had “junk in the trunk”.
I think we should have a Superfish beauty contest. Who’s in?
A 12 year old boy shouldn’t go on a date.
Even with my fellow Swede Gyllenhaal …
why did you all turn on feed me so fast?
looks like he’s not doing anything to shake the brokeback image since natalie looks like a pre-pubescent boy now.
beauty contest sounds good.
but only mugshot photos. no glamour shots.
You just called her “feed me so fast”. That’s great.
Doc, I can no longer read your emails while sitting this close to Congressman. They think I am laughing at them, and next thing you know, my home and office will be raided by Homeland Secuirty and those innocent pictures of me and that 15 year old Vietnamese girl will suddenly become “illegal”.
papa turned on feed_me.
he needs to apologize.
and by “apologize” i mean send a message through her myspace page, if it’s even still up.
otherwise the karma could come back via his kids.
and nobody wants that.
she made a comment @212 that they got their ass in a knot over…
So what’s the worst thing about rollerblading?
Telling your parents that you’re gay.
I talked to Stallion, and we were kidding about the New Orleans stuff. She took it seriously and got her feelings hurt. Who gives a shit? I’ve been bashed on here by so many fucking people it’s ridiculous. It’s all in fun and if you are too senstive to get picked on, don’t come on here. IT’S ALL JUST FOR FUN.
#286 Always happy to jeopardize someone’s career/image. And can I just say, Mr. Glitter, I’m a huge fan of your work. Football games just wouldn’t be the same.
you did say you were joking too…
is SF dude awake????
Time for lunch and margarita’s. Play nice everyone.
As far as I’m concerned, you can say whatever you want Papa. You are the funniest person on this site.
lunch? it’s freaken 932…
dude, do you work in DC? I work for a congressman, in his district and it’s getting boring here.
She was 15 but only allegedly Vietnamese. I hate to tell you this but I think the agency sent you a Laotian but still charged the Vietnamese rates.
this is a lot of “dont be mean to feed_me” from people who have said every nasty thing to other people they can think of on here. hey nobodys immune. especially if youre fug. people have to learn how to take it and dish it.
http://www.thesupeficial.com because youre ugly. it says it right there.
289 – I think the same could be said for having a MySpace page.
Yeah, I think we all should apologize to Feed_Me_Seventeen_Times_A_Day because it’s not like she left the door wide ass open for us to come in and stomp all over her “feelings”. Nobody got butt-hurt about the fecal stew in N.O. It was just fine until some whiny Jewish bitch started complaining about her cramps and sticking her big ass nose in my kleenex box.
There, I’m done.
Oh my God, Dad, is that you??
right…certain people deserve it…refer to #266…
dear superfish guy,
love your site.
please consider granting access to others to post things. but only people who will post totally awesome things.
here’s my audition for access to post awesome things:
dying of boredom and totally over jake and natalie going out on one single date
i think she’s mexican-irish…
i used to bang the cramps out of my ex-wife…
there are whole categories
of the under
lol bitches :)
303 comments O_O
I just have to say… I guess Natalie doesn’t mind dating a guy who’s previous relationship was with hottie and fellow gay Heath Ledger. Then again, being that Jake is gay himself, it doesn’t surprise me that he would date someone who looks like a little boy. There’s so much wrong with this, it’s like one big joke for us all to laugh at.
i think feed_me’s a babe.
and a witty one at that.
the quickest to pounce is most-likely the quickest to piss their star wars pjs when their pro-activ order doesn’t make it in time for the playstation 3 unveiling.
Tom Cruise Wants Jake Gyllenhall’s cock….but Jake has standards.
Suffer Tom you loser!
302, those were both very enjoyable, thanks!
Has every one seen this video yet?
Its an INVISIBILITY CLOAK!!! Being invented in tokyo!
I wish I was Natalie. Jake is one hot man cake.
Can you leave this post up for just a few more days? (48 hours just isn’t enough time to fully enjoy)
There has to be an old Gary Coleman story you can post instead of this, We’re begging you!
I really wish the SF guy would take on a partner or three. Especially when he’s sick.
Looks like Jake’s doggy-bag is going to be made illegal.
Only 64 per cent obese in the US ? I always thought the percentage was much higher than that.
The other 36 per’ were busy purging I guess.
Ok – sorry this site already gets too many fat jokes.
Enjoy your lunch.
@193 – PINKY YOU JUST RUINED MY WEEKEND!!!
Just kidding!!! LOL
where did feed_me_shitcake go?
Zanna, I would never want to change you. Well, maybe just convert you into my lipstick lesbian sex slave.
Hey 308, its called a blue screen, you know they recorded it and then used a transparency function.
And its about time Jake came out of the closet. Its probably not a good idea to be seen around town with a little boy though.
Whatever happened to LadeeBug
Just featured this douchebag on my blog. Because I loves me some Nathalie.
320 things to say about Natalie Portman and Jake Gggyllehall? I don’t fucking think so, asshole.
I left my previous career as an attorney because I got tired of dealing with the associates of two hollywood actors who were constantly being forced to sue tabloids when their dealings with NAMBLA were outed by the intrepid yet infallibly serendipitous stalkings of the paparazzi. Unfortunately, attorney client privilege stands but its a safe bet that more than a few of the “blockbuster” births and or hookups in hollywood stem from truly platonic relationships.
PLEASE MAKE IT STOP. I am so F#$^& sick at looking at these two
#322 Well Said
It’s great that they’re dating because they can use the same hairstylist for their lesbian man-cuts. I also think you have to be a tad on the gay side to actually PLAY a gay guy in a movie. What straight guy would AGREE to actually kiss another man??? Even if it is for a lot of money? Also, who can forget the pics of him in the bicycle shorts awhile back? And the WAY he stood in them still gives me the creeps. Dude’s totally gay.
323 – I’m inclined to believe you, but I’m also inclined to take a handful of percosets and smash the unliving shit out of every office supply and piece of hardware I see before me in this office. I believe I will go with the former.
And I will also take percosets as they become available to me.
I wish the SF dude would quit jerkin his gerkin to underage asian porn and post another GD story.
I have 2 hours of work left and unless things get interesting soon, I may shoot out my monitor, Elvis-style.
I left my previous career as an organ-grinder’s monkey because the whole sidewalk performer industry was getting so fake. That, and I ripped the face off a four-year-old girl when she poked my ass with a stick.
This guy was once giving it to me “Elvis style”, which was pretty good for the midway part – plenty of pelvic thrusts. But at the end he confused my tit for a double bacon cheeseburger and then passed out.
Yeah, I’m a slut.
This one time in band camp I killed a bunch of people and had sex with their severed heads… annnnd… yeah, that’s about it.
someone brought in brownies.
oh, will the constant perks of office work never cease. c’mon SF.
i can only hope they’re made with green butter and i’m laughing hysterically at people’s haircuts by 4pm.
bonzilla bongzilla bongzilla.
@330: Did you shit down their necks afterward?
332 – what part of “that’s about it” don’t you fucking get?!
Yeah, I did a little bit.
I agree with #290, we were just kidding around, I have been made fun of by countless individuals and have yet to shed a tear, because I know it’s all just for fun. I guess what I’m trying to say to Feed_me is if you can’t take the heat stay out of the kitchen, as hard as that will be for you to stay out of there, because come on seriously, stay out of the kitchen……
333 – Awesome. I’d clean your panties with my tongue.
seeing as how nothing has changed in 2 days…
this just in…
water’s wet and fire’s hot…
details at 6…
Why is it that office people only ever talk about food?
“I brought cake!”
“I’m getting a snack!”
“Who want’s ice cream?”
“I’m making sausage for dinner!”
“Who’s that girl with the semi-automatic?”
“God I’m hungry!”
I don’t think Feed-me is that upset. She just had to report to work at The Police Station. There was a big murder in the woods and she’s their best bloodhound.
335 – You must be a slut, too. We should hang out and recruit more sluts, and then we could build an embassy and trick rich guys into buying us luxury cars and have our own flag and theme song, and we could lick eachother’s panties.
feed_me should feel better after a couple mydol…
a: staple open eyelids of human resources retard so he can see the veins pulsing as i shave the skin off his arms with my letter opener.
b: eat leftover spiderman birthday cake with coworkers.
@334 Stallion, you never cease to amuse me. That’s just funny. I really think we hurt Feed_Me_Slimfast feelings. I want her to know that we were kidding. I also want her to know that I think it’s cool that she actually smell the number 7 and the color blue.
David Blane’s next stunt: Living without food or water for 6 days in Feed_Me_Nutrtion’s nose. At least he’ll have plenty of room to move around.
I kinda feel bad for what I said to Feed_Me. I know that it’s better to just lie to ugly people and tell them they’re pretty because if you don’t they get all blubbery and start leaking their snot all over and it’s really just disgusting. So I feel bad for anyone that was around her while she was crying about her fat nose I guess.
go with a…
he’ll have all week-end to get over it…
And today’s lesson is…
Don’t make “friends” with people who frequent a website that goes by the name of “The Superficial”…
For what it’s worth, the funniest comments come outta nowhere, like when the drugged-up gal named Diane (I think) wrote she sat straight up in bed and shouted out “Tom Cruise Loves the Cock”, or M@ce’s crazy “smash” binge. Herbiefrog is intriquing…wonder who the hell s/he really is? The “me so horny” shit that shows up after the 50th post or so gets pretty old, except for the lonely posters, I suppose…
‘Course it would help if some new stories were put up…
But on topic…They look cute together and Jake seems like a fun guy (thinkin’ of those crazy post-Oscar pics…)
Thanks Wild Rose, that really puts things in perpective.
By the way, are those Bugle Boy jeans you’re wearing?
…Guess I just have a different sense of humour than most here, ’cause I didn’t get that cut, Osh. “Bugleboys”, are those “Mom jeans”? Ugh, can’t stand ‘em. Anyways, carry on (playin’ nice, that is…).
Moriarty, what is your problem? what do you mean we dont get real news? we don’t visit the superficial for real news, we visit for cheap smutty laughs at the expense of celebrities. and just because we happen to read celeb-trash news, doesnt mean that we are ignorant, or uninformed.
…and the world’s lamest thread finally fizzles out with a dying gasp.
Like her, love him, perfectly cute couple! Such an improvement on Kirsten Dunst, absolutely.
yay! they’re both so cute. but damn his teeth are yellow.
even though i asked someone to fuck themselves with a horses dick and wished aids on them, to quote a famous blackman…
“can’t we all just get along?…”
maybe feed_me ran the superficial and this is punishment…
was it too difficult to find a pretty boy???
I think you’re alone when you say that some languages can be fused together and can be counted as 1. It actually makes you sound a little ignorant. Sorry for sounding like I wanna school ya, but for example, High German and Southern German are the same language. Hindi and Farsi may have both derived from one language (as with English with regard to German) but they are completely separate. Someone who speaks Hindi will NOT understand someone speaking Farsi. It’s like 1 or 2 words out of every 200 will sound similiar and have a similar meaning. And besides, Farsi is written in Arabic and Hindi is, well, written in Hindi.
German is learned as a third language … We don’t speak German automatically as you seem to think.
Germans call themselves “Deutcher”, we call them “Tysk”…
Not really close :) No hard feelings !!
you sound ignorant when you can’t recognize a joke.
TOPAZ21 got it. butt out.
they look like they are having fun
#346 hi babe :)
and in other news
does nat look cross?
so that was just a come on?
meet at abm
…by the way…
this copy is unregist…. :)
its a woolly jumper :)
and you cant blame him
lived there for a few years
could be so nice
mmmm mmmm good :)
like the cambells
soup advert :))
truth baby :)
that’s all it takes :))
…and we for them )