Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman are dating

natalie! nooooo!

first time being first!!

where’d everbody go? where’s sherry-co?

Overheard at a carnival: “Step right up, see the amazing man with TWO BEARDS.”

Doesn’t she realize that he’s using her until his next Thailand trip when he can score some 10 year boy love.

Shouldn’t that NAMBLA card in his wallet be a dead giveaway Natalie?

There’s only one reason a guy’s into smurf. It’s until he can satisfy his pedophile boy loving ways without getting caught.

OH MY GOD A NEW POST! Fuck yeah. I just got so excited I got LandSauce all over my LandPanties. What were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, those pictures of Brad and Lonny. Brad’s my hairstylist and Lonny’s this guy I know that promotes clubs in Portland. What’s the big deal and why are they on the internet? Jesus Christ!

They look kinda cute together — all smiley and whatnot. But what is up with Nat’s sweater? It looks like it is trying to eat her alive. Which, incidentally, is Jake’s plan as well. He’s a crazy man.

They are two of my favorites so I think it’s pretty cool.

http://ultra8201.blogspot.com

Thought she was going to be so pretty when she grew up when she appeared in that movie “The Professional.”

She looked more feminine at 12 then now. Look at the frontal shot. She can’t fill out those jeans better than a concentration camp victim.

Methinks my “two beards” zinger was a little obtuse.

heh. landpanties. heh

Newsflash: Playing a gay character in a movie doesn’t mean you’re gay in real life.
Damn, people. Get some brains.

She’s built like a boy so it shouldn’t be much of a stretch for him… Hopefully she doesn’t watch Brokeback and think quietly to herself ‘Jake never kissed me like that’…

10 – I thought it was awesome.
And I don’t think many things are awesome besides myself.
And I am never obtuse because fat people are gross.

That movie was confusing as shit…..So they’re saying he does like girls?

Portman’s his other beard. Methinks we all got it.

#14 – Nachos gracias!

Jake is continuing in the man-boy tradition…

#5 hahahaaaa
ewww dude JG’s teeth are hella yellow. yuk yuk yuk

methinks you people are driving me fucking crazy with this methinks shit. methinks me may spew chunks if me hears it one more time

14

Yes, I’d rather be acute.

remember kids…tc loves us all

and by us i mean…the c-o-c-k

Agreed that the two beards phenom is a medical miracle; scientists should be notified!!!

Happy_Bunny: no, playing a gay guy in a movie doesn’t make someone gay. Sleeping with other men in real life *tends* to suggest that they actually might be, however.

@20 Methinks, methinks, methinks……LOL…if you threw up, now your like an anorexic lame-whipper-banana-willow fag………….

21: I had a doctor tell me that I had acute appendicitis one time. I assumed he was hitting on me and sued for sexual harassment. :)

My Gaydar is tingling.
Although he dresses quite slobby for a gay guy.
Sunglasses look too expensive for a str8 guy though.

Now we only have ot wait until he explains what “field fuck” is.

20: blasphemer!!! this is the worst insult that can be bestowed upon someone. if you’ll excuse me i’m going to go to the bathroom and continue cutting myself. it hurts so good.

26

Really? Something like that happened to me, too.
This doctor told me a had acute angina, so I slapped him with a lawsuit.

oops i meant 25 ahhh fuck it

Clearly I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. Hmmm… yes, I made an incredibly stupid ‘joke.’ Sue me.

Fa– I’m sure your appendicitis was very cute.

they had dinner at the spotted pig…

i did’nt know mariah could cook???

@31 you should e-mail the person who writes this shit and get them to take the T out of your screen name……..hehehehehehehe

You guys are a bunch of SLIMY SLUGS, just because Jake likes to hold dick in his anus and let it sit there peacefully doesn’t mean a thing. You’re gay only if the dick is moving back and forth inside the anus. Duh.

35

thanks, i’m off the hook!!!

#36 – LMAO

35

Speaking of SLIMY SLUGS, I wonder what happened to HWMNBN/Goatsucker? I feel sort of lonesome without someone stalking me and calling me trailer trash.

#35

what is you are a girl and you like that?

*if…i hate english

and edna

Oh please, they’re not dating.

They were merely comparing notes about what it’s like to both have boyish figures and bony hips.

… So what’s it like? It’s been years since I had any body definition.

32: Ari – you know it! ;)

38: Well, if it will make you feel better, “Trailer trash! Trailer trash! Stop obsessing over me you ghetto cholita!! Go smoke crack with your welfare babies!”

Enh, that sort of thing isn’t my forte.

41

But Jack Sprat is supposed to be skinny, because…

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean…

Sorry that your wife won’t give you head…

39 – If you are a girl that likes anal but hates speaking English, please visit papahotnuts.com and fill out a brief questionaire regarding your fuckability (attach photo and resume). If you qualify you could win a big prize – in your anus.

natalie is a stupid bitch. i don’t know how to say it nay cleverer than that.

Shit. I really want to hate this, and give in to my deluded visions of me and gyllenhaall dating/marrying/fucking/having beautiful babies and thus hate Natalie portman with a passion.
But I cant.
She is pretty and cute and seems nice. grrr, at least when he was dating Dr Sunken Tits i was in with a chance.
http://celebreligion.com

42

Thanks, I feel all warm and squishy inside.

47: Ooops. Sorry about that. Looks like I’ll have to write a strongly worded letter to the good folks at Trojan-ENZ.

Natalie Portman looks like a cancer patient. Maybe Jake thought so, too, and decided to take her some flowers. And when he found out she wasn’t dying he figured someone ought to at least feed her.

even if they’re not together, they should be.

Jake was great in Donny Darko and Natalie is an excellent actress it doesn’t matter what role she plays.

Appropo; Jake was so convincing in Brokeback Mountain that now a lot of people think he’s gay