Jake Gyllenhaal and Natalie Portman are dating
June 1st, 2006 // 387 Comments
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hurley | June 1, 2006 at 4:52 pm
natalie! nooooo!
hurley | June 1, 2006 at 4:53 pm
first time being first!!
hurley | June 1, 2006 at 4:53 pm
where’d everbody go? where’s sherry-co?
ScriptRadar | June 1, 2006 at 4:53 pm
Overheard at a carnival: “Step right up, see the amazing man with TWO BEARDS.”
Sheva | June 1, 2006 at 4:54 pm
Doesn’t she realize that he’s using her until his next Thailand trip when he can score some 10 year boy love.
Shouldn’t that NAMBLA card in his wallet be a dead giveaway Natalie?
There’s only one reason a guy’s into smurf. It’s until he can satisfy his pedophile boy loving ways without getting caught.
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 1, 2006 at 4:55 pm
OH MY GOD A NEW POST! Fuck yeah. I just got so excited I got LandSauce all over my LandPanties. What were we talking about again?
Oh yeah, those pictures of Brad and Lonny. Brad’s my hairstylist and Lonny’s this guy I know that promotes clubs in Portland. What’s the big deal and why are they on the internet? Jesus Christ!
FunctionalDrunk | June 1, 2006 at 4:55 pm
They look kinda cute together — all smiley and whatnot. But what is up with Nat’s sweater? It looks like it is trying to eat her alive. Which, incidentally, is Jake’s plan as well. He’s a crazy man.
ultra8201 | June 1, 2006 at 4:57 pm
They are two of my favorites so I think it’s pretty cool.
http://ultra8201.blogspot.com
Sheva | June 1, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Thought she was going to be so pretty when she grew up when she appeared in that movie “The Professional.”
She looked more feminine at 12 then now. Look at the frontal shot. She can’t fill out those jeans better than a concentration camp victim.
ScriptRadar | June 1, 2006 at 4:58 pm
Methinks my “two beards” zinger was a little obtuse.
spatz | June 1, 2006 at 5:00 pm
heh. landpanties. heh
happy_bunny | June 1, 2006 at 5:03 pm
Newsflash: Playing a gay character in a movie doesn’t mean you’re gay in real life.
Damn, people. Get some brains.
RichPort | June 1, 2006 at 5:03 pm
She’s built like a boy so it shouldn’t be much of a stretch for him… Hopefully she doesn’t watch Brokeback and think quietly to herself ‘Jake never kissed me like that’…
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 1, 2006 at 5:03 pm
10 – I thought it was awesome.
And I don’t think many things are awesome besides myself.
And I am never obtuse because fat people are gross.
Italian Stallion | June 1, 2006 at 5:05 pm
That movie was confusing as shit…..So they’re saying he does like girls?
burlapbra | June 1, 2006 at 5:05 pm
Portman’s his other beard. Methinks we all got it.
ScriptRadar | June 1, 2006 at 5:06 pm
#14 – Nachos gracias!
Feed_Me_Chocolate | June 1, 2006 at 5:07 pm
Jake is continuing in the man-boy tradition…
TOPAZ21 | June 1, 2006 at 5:07 pm
#5 hahahaaaa
ewww dude JG’s teeth are hella yellow. yuk yuk yuk
spatz | June 1, 2006 at 5:08 pm
methinks you people are driving me fucking crazy with this methinks shit. methinks me may spew chunks if me hears it one more time
Feed_Me_Chocolate | June 1, 2006 at 5:08 pm
14
Yes, I’d rather be acute.
TOPAZ21 | June 1, 2006 at 5:08 pm
remember kids…tc loves us all
TOPAZ21 | June 1, 2006 at 5:09 pm
and by us i mean…the c-o-c-k
Fa Cube Itches | June 1, 2006 at 5:11 pm
Agreed that the two beards phenom is a medical miracle; scientists should be notified!!!
Happy_Bunny: no, playing a gay guy in a movie doesn’t make someone gay. Sleeping with other men in real life *tends* to suggest that they actually might be, however.
Italian Stallion | June 1, 2006 at 5:12 pm
@20 Methinks, methinks, methinks……LOL…if you threw up, now your like an anorexic lame-whipper-banana-willow fag………….
Fa Cube Itches | June 1, 2006 at 5:13 pm
21: I had a doctor tell me that I had acute appendicitis one time. I assumed he was hitting on me and sued for sexual harassment. :)
Binky | June 1, 2006 at 5:14 pm
My Gaydar is tingling.
Although he dresses quite slobby for a gay guy.
Sunglasses look too expensive for a str8 guy though.
LB | June 1, 2006 at 5:14 pm
Now we only have ot wait until he explains what “field fuck” is.
spatz | June 1, 2006 at 5:15 pm
20: blasphemer!!! this is the worst insult that can be bestowed upon someone. if you’ll excuse me i’m going to go to the bathroom and continue cutting myself. it hurts so good.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | June 1, 2006 at 5:17 pm
26
Really? Something like that happened to me, too.
This doctor told me a had acute angina, so I slapped him with a lawsuit.
spatz | June 1, 2006 at 5:17 pm
oops i meant 25 ahhh fuck it
Ari | June 1, 2006 at 5:19 pm
Clearly I’m a gay man trapped in a woman’s body. Hmmm… yes, I made an incredibly stupid ‘joke.’ Sue me.
Fa– I’m sure your appendicitis was very cute.
ptprez | June 1, 2006 at 5:19 pm
they had dinner at the spotted pig…
i did’nt know mariah could cook???
Italian Stallion | June 1, 2006 at 5:19 pm
@31 you should e-mail the person who writes this shit and get them to take the T out of your screen name……..hehehehehehehe
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 1, 2006 at 5:20 pm
You guys are a bunch of SLIMY SLUGS, just because Jake likes to hold dick in his anus and let it sit there peacefully doesn’t mean a thing. You’re gay only if the dick is moving back and forth inside the anus. Duh.
ptprez | June 1, 2006 at 5:22 pm
35
thanks, i’m off the hook!!!
ScriptRadar | June 1, 2006 at 5:23 pm
#36 – LMAO
Feed_Me_Chocolate | June 1, 2006 at 5:24 pm
35
Speaking of SLIMY SLUGS, I wonder what happened to HWMNBN/Goatsucker? I feel sort of lonesome without someone stalking me and calling me trailer trash.
TOPAZ21 | June 1, 2006 at 5:25 pm
#35
what is you are a girl and you like that?
TOPAZ21 | June 1, 2006 at 5:25 pm
*if…i hate english
and edna
jackspratling | June 1, 2006 at 5:26 pm
Oh please, they’re not dating.
They were merely comparing notes about what it’s like to both have boyish figures and bony hips.
… So what’s it like? It’s been years since I had any body definition.
Fa Cube Itches | June 1, 2006 at 5:28 pm
32: Ari – you know it! ;)
38: Well, if it will make you feel better, “Trailer trash! Trailer trash! Stop obsessing over me you ghetto cholita!! Go smoke crack with your welfare babies!”
Enh, that sort of thing isn’t my forte.
Feed_Me_Chocolate | June 1, 2006 at 5:30 pm
41
But Jack Sprat is supposed to be skinny, because…
Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean…
Sorry that your wife won’t give you head…
oshkoshb-goshdammgosh | June 1, 2006 at 5:30 pm
39 – If you are a girl that likes anal but hates speaking English, please visit papahotnuts.com and fill out a brief questionaire regarding your fuckability (attach photo and resume). If you qualify you could win a big prize – in your anus.
Evangelia | June 1, 2006 at 5:31 pm
natalie is a stupid bitch. i don’t know how to say it nay cleverer than that.
Charlaurz McHall | June 1, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Shit. I really want to hate this, and give in to my deluded visions of me and gyllenhaall dating/marrying/fucking/having beautiful babies and thus hate Natalie portman with a passion.
But I cant.
She is pretty and cute and seems nice. grrr, at least when he was dating Dr Sunken Tits i was in with a chance.
http://celebreligion.com
Feed_Me_Chocolate | June 1, 2006 at 5:32 pm
42
Thanks, I feel all warm and squishy inside.
Fa Cube Itches | June 1, 2006 at 5:34 pm
47: Ooops. Sorry about that. Looks like I’ll have to write a strongly worded letter to the good folks at Trojan-ENZ.
tarjamarja | June 1, 2006 at 5:36 pm
Natalie Portman looks like a cancer patient. Maybe Jake thought so, too, and decided to take her some flowers. And when he found out she wasn’t dying he figured someone ought to at least feed her.
eva86 | June 1, 2006 at 5:36 pm
even if they’re not together, they should be.
Jake was great in Donny Darko and Natalie is an excellent actress it doesn’t matter what role she plays.
Appropo; Jake was so convincing in Brokeback Mountain that now a lot of people think he’s gay