Jake Paul: America’s Most Punchable Bro

Jake Paul has been in my internet peripherals for a while, creating videos that make me double take and think, “that looks pretty stupid.” On occasion I’ll click it (because I hate myself) and say out loud, “that was pretty stupid.” His whole schtick is like a guidance counselor-friendly version of Jackass and apparently that was enough to land him a spot on a Disney Channel TV show called Bizaardvark because aardvark is like, such a random word, LOL! *kill me*

Now Disney Channel is parting with the ex-Vine star under the guise of a ‘mutual decision’, when it’s clear that Disney just doesn’t want to deal with his bullshit anymore. You may have heard he was recently on the news for being a dick (and acting like one) after pissing off his neighbors with his asinine, frat party antics- which he’s handling with the maturity of a YouTube commenter.

Now Jake is following in the footsteps of his brother Logan, who rose to fame on exactly similar circumstances. I blindly rented the movie The Thinning on Amazon a few months back, which I guess was Logan’s YouTube crossover to feature film, and was not impressed by his performance as an entitled, rich white kid bending the system to save his dumb girlfriend from the standardized test gestapo (seriously, that’s not a joke).

Vegas is taking bets on which Paul brother gets a DUI first. I’m going with the 19-year-old who thinks bleached lax-bro haircuts are still ‘chill.’