Willow & Jaden Smith Sniffed All The Farts, The Farts Are Gone
While I was buried deep inside Gwyneth Paltrow yesterday – *rereads* Yup, that came out right. – apparently two other pretentious twatwaffles were busy fumigating the New York Times with their metaphysical butt fumes which they openly huffed while pontificating on reality, the human mind, and babies breathing energy while they’re building their bones in the womb only to be shoved into a world that crushes them into boring morons who make shitty music. Or something. I honestly understood about half of this, and the other half I chalked up to Willow and Jaden Smith reading a Scientology pamphlet once and making a conscious decision to repeat words from it even if they didn’t know what a single one of them meant. Unfortunately, none of those words were, “Tom Cruise derives his flight powers from the butt,” but that’s what you get from a reality that’s nothing but a holographic image made by a highly-evolved space consciousness, amirite? You ever see one of those try and change a tire? Fucking disaster. Anyway, here’s the stupid:
WILLOW: I mean, time for me, I can make it go slow or fast, however I please, and that’s how I know it doesn’t exist.
JADEN: It’s proven that how time moves for you depends on where you are in the universe. It’s relative to beings and other places. But on the level of being here on earth, if you are aware in a moment, one second can last a year. And if you are unaware, your whole childhood, your whole life can pass by in six seconds. But it’s also such a thing that you can get lost in.
WILLOW: Because living.
What are some of the themes that recur in your work?
JADEN: The P.C.H. being one of them; the melancholiness of the ocean; the melancholiness of everything else.
WILLOW: And the feeling of being like, this is a fragment of a holographic reality that a higher consciousness made.
JADEN: … Because your mind has a duality to it. So when one thought goes into your mind, it’s not just one thought, it has to bounce off both hemispheres of the brain. When you’re thinking about something happy, you’re thinking about something sad. When you think about an apple, you also think about the opposite of an apple. It’s a tool for understanding mathematics and things with two separate realities. But for creativity: That comes from a place of oneness. That’s not a duality consciousness. And you can’t listen to your mind in those times — it’ll tell you what you think and also what other people think.
WILLOW: And then you think about what you think, which is very dangerous.
On how everything sucks but Willow and Jaden:
JADEN: Honestly, we’re just trying to make music that we think is cool. We don’t think a lot of the music out there is that cool. So we make our own music. We don’t have any song that we like to listen to on the P.C.H. by any other artist, you know?
WILLOW: That’s what I do with novels. There’re no novels that I like to read so I write my own novels, and then I read them again, and it’s the best thing.
In case they weren’t clear in that last quote:
WILLOW: Me and Jaden just figured out that our voices sound like chocolate together. As good as chocolate tastes, it sounds that good.
On the most ridiculous yet somehow depressing shit you’ll ever hear about babies in your life:
JADEN: When babies are born, their soft spots bump: It has, like, a heartbeat in it. That’s because energy is coming through their body, up and down.
WILLOW: Prana energy.
JADEN: It’s prana energy because they still breathe through their stomach. They remember. Babies remember.
WILLOW: When they’re in the stomach, they’re so aware, putting all their bones together, putting all their ligaments together. But they’re shocked by this harsh world.
JADEN: By the chemicals and things, and then slowly…
WILLOW: As they grow up, they start losing.
JADEN: You know, they become just like us.
On why kids shouldn’t go to school because car accidents:
JADEN: You never learn anything in school. Think about how many car accidents happen every day. Driver’s ed? What’s up? I still haven’t been to driver’s ed because if everybody I know has been in an accident, I can’t see how driver’s ed is really helping them out.