J-Lo & Marc Anthony skip adoption, go straight for baby snatching

April 1st, 2009 // 52 Comments

While other stars are battling mountains of red tape trying to adopt children, Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are just straight stealing ‘em from unsuspecting couples. I mean, why risk filling out paperwork only to have authorities figure out your husband’s an alien from the Picante Quadrant sent to Earth to learn the secrets of our professional hair-care products? That’s just crazy talk.

superficial

  1. Nice pajamas J-Lo.

  2. moem

    she looks like she’s gonna cut a bitch

  3. Jane Goodall

    I find it odd that these two South American Jungle Apes have to resort to adopting, since it’s a well known fact that apes of the Latino variety can spontaneously reproduce just by coming into close vacinity of an ape of the opposite sex.

  4. Max Planck

    They look tired…up for that 3 am feeding I guess.

  5. g

    So that’s not their baby? What are you trying to say??

  6. Fyuk Yiou

    Wow , those “news” are even less interesting than the other ones. Nothing less boring happening out there?

  7. I thought she had twins? lol This baby doesnt look to happy.
    JLO looks good tho!

  8. Photoshop Police

    Happy March 32nd, everyone!

  9. BIlly Mays

    wow take a look at the size of the babys honker! poor kid.

  10. #9 – I don’t know where you’re from, but it’s January 91st buddy.

  11. Rhialto

    Maybe the proud father is all the way left!?

  12. Picante Quadrant! LMAO!!!

  13. Darth

    What’s that Mexican dude all the way in the back doing!??

  14. Donkey Dong

    J-Lo looks awful.

    Good to see Jane Goodall back on the board!

  15. Deacon Jones

    Why’s Jimmy Kimmel trying to snatch the baby in the 1st pic? Hungry?

    And no, #7, J-Lo looks like a bloated evil bitch.

  16. Gando

    He wants to make something clear but the giant J-Lo is standing in front of him!

  17. Galtacticus

    Babies look all cute! Ever wondered why!? Ask nature!

  18. Sauron

    Good ol’ trick from nature!

  19. Nero

    Second good ol’ trick are baby noises! Even sometimes adults still use them!

  20. Jrz

    February 60th is my favorite day of the year….we get ice cream!

  21. Rhialto

    Is it today somebody’s special day!??

  22. Blue Eyes

    She doesn’t look so happy. What’s the story on this? Oh yeah, who cares!!!

    GuyHolly it’s Blue Eyes, I’m not pretending…….I really don’t know what Ninj means. Don’t know all the computer lingo(If that’s what it is). It’s cool if you don’t want to tell me, not that big a deal(not hurting me any), but thought it couldn’t hurt to ask.

  23. Darth

    Are they bargaining about the price!? J-Lo is carefully listening with one ear!

  24. Rhialto

    He looks a dedicated father to me!

  25. CakeSnifferer

    I feel the same way as that kid whenever I look at that dude’s mug.

  26. A selfish bitch like J-Lo will make a GREAT mother.

  27. GROAARH!

    I would protect my babies like a giant lion! And anybody who dare to harm them pays the highest price!

  28. Hey Rhialto! Why do you end every sentence with an exclamation point!!!? Caffiene overload!!??

    #27 – Well “GROAARH!”, my highest price is $17. Take it or leave it. Can I kick one now?

  29. Blue Eyes– read the archives back in summer and fall 2006. Ninj went by CockNinja or Hopless Screenwriter.

  30. Foobart

    “alien from the Picante Quadrant sent to Earth to learn the secrets of our professional hair-care products”

    That is just brilliant. Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.

  31. mamamiasweetpeaches

    me Vs J Lo

    Round 1. I Cant Sing
    Round 2: I Cant Dance
    Round 3: I Cant Act
    Round 4: I’m Not As Thin
    Round 5: I’m Not As Beautiful
    Round 6: I’m Not As Stylish
    Round 7: I’m Not As Rich
    Round 8: I DONT HAVE TO WAKE UP NEXT TO MARC ANTHONY IN THE MORNING

    I WIN!

  32. Liz

    #3, you must sit in your parents basement all day waiting to blog in rasict notes, what kind of man spends his day on celeb blogs! not a real tough manly man. you say the same shit over and over, get a life you low income redneck.

  33. Liz

    #3, you must sit in your parents basement all day waiting to blog in rasict notes, what kind of man spends his day on celeb blogs! not a real tough manly man. you say the same shit over and over, get a life you low income redneck.

  34. Blue Eyes

    GuyHolly – Well, I’m not someone else if that’s what you mean. I am truely new to all this and like talkin to people who like to conversate back. Well….what’s ur story? If you care to introduce, if not I understand. See Ya!!!

  35. Jane Goodall

    Jane Goodall here, I find it peculiar that the female South American Wetback Ape shown in these pictures still looks similar to what she did almost 10 years ago. The latino ape variety is well known to molt sometime in their mid 30′s, transforming from a medium height ape with somewhat appealing features into a mutated troll/ape of shorter, heavier stature, with facial features resembling “Tatoo” from Fantasy Island. I suspect this transformation is delayed do to plastic surgury and drugs, but I do expect it to happen within the next few years, as the process can be delayed, but not avoided.

  36. Id like to see J-lo in a Prince inspired (asscheeked) pants before she gets sour…

  37. kels

    #3-they are from puerto rico, not south america dumbass. go learn some geography before you type up more ignorant comments.

  38. kels

    #3-they are from puerto rico, not south america dumbass. go learn some geography before you type up more ignorant comments.

  39. Diane Fossey

    #38 I’m sure you’re aware that even though many of the South American Wetback Apes have migrated into Central America and some islands in the Carribean Sea, they are still same species.

    I was going to publish this in my reports, but I was hacked into tiny pieces by a machete’ weilding South African Street Ape.

  40. Miss

    number 39 your a loser freak, take your demoized views and fucked up imbread mind somewhere else.

  41. Twinkle

    Her outfit is so ugly. She’s so tacky!

  42. Latino 'ape'

    Jane Goodall – your comments are racist and disgusting, i think it’s time to make your way in for a mental checkup you jagoff.

  43. Max Planck

    I understand that people have paid these people to hear them sing?

  44. Jamie's Uterus

    Is today self absorbed fat ass cunt day? First we have Kim K, now J-Lo? That’s a lot of no talent ass for one day’s posting.

  45. Pedro sucks

    It’s ok to be racist against MEXICANS. I mean come on, the guys are short smelly midgets and the girls are ghetto hos with 15 kids. They are truly low class and deserve all the racism they get. GTFO OF MY COUNTRY YOU DOGS!!!!! IM TIRED OF THEM AND THEIR SHITTY LANGUAGE.

  46. Mexicans hate Anglos

    The replacement version of the American citizenry is a short brown and dumbed down variety of peasent with a healthy disrespect for law and order. And they are making splendid progress at displacing the builders of the nation, the snow ape. I would imagine sacrifices to the Sun God and arcane rituals of such atavistic nature will inevitably ensue soon thereafter.
    But this is all according to plan so all is well at the top!!!
    Let’s keep bailing out more bankers and rich, ineffective megacorporations. They need our love and if not Henry Paulson will declare Martial Law (true).

    Um but yeah, nice ass.

  47. RaraAvis

    Is there anyone out there who can explain this mini-man’s appeal to me? He has a girly voice, he’s only about 5′ tall and he’s as ugly as a board fence. WTF?

  48. mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

    she is beautiful (L)

  49. Dr. Cornelia J. Dogbarker, PhD rescinded

    These talentless assholes are pathetic. I’d like to see the woman with the huge butt get fucked, but the man, jesus, he is just flat-out ugly.

  50. mark doesn’t need any more babies

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