Izabel Goulart and Kevin Trapp Are Both Better Looking Than You

Since Victoria’s Secret ditched Izabel Goulart for a younger, more Hadid-ish version of herself, the Brazilian supermodel has been doing whatever she wants… including a younger guy in his 20’s. After working international runways for over a decade, I can’t image she’s too strapped for cash. She also probably banged Charlie Sheen at the height of his vaginal rampage that started the whole “winning” thing and left him with HIV. Just goes to show you that even supermodels have dark days and can get out ok on the other side.

Also, her boyfriend has been a professional goalkeeper in Germany since age fucking seven. I knew that the Germans were into starting careers early, but that’s just absurd. Europe is weird, and this couple is just too damn happy for my post-Christmas hangover.

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