Ivanka Trump: For your dating consideration

April 2nd, 2008 // 70 Comments

Ivanka Trump the 26-year-old daughter of Donald and Ivana Trump is back on the market. And unlike another certain heiress we know, Ivanka is STD-free and runs her own mortgage empire. (Read: She’ll buy you a Wii.) Page Six reports:

We noticed Trump – who had been dating real estate mogul and New York Observer owner Jared Kushner for almost a year – was flying solo at a few recent soirees, and friends of the couple confirmed yesterday to Page Six that the power couple are no longer together.

I don’t think many of us common Joes stand a chance. Ivanka’s probably looking for a guy that’s A.) super loaded. and B.) has testicles made of Faberge eggs. Sadly, mine are only lined with diamonds. God, I suck.

Photos: Getty Images

  1. edamame


  2. I dunno… it would be too much like fucking her dad…

  3. edamame

    She needs to adjust the girls…one is waaaay more pushed up than the other.

  4. jumpin_j

    I’ll date her if she stops glowing.

  5. julu

    she needs to hand out with taller people so she won’t have to hunch to look shorter. in the end, she still looks like a mammoth, only now she looks 7 months pregnant

  6. Wonder if she would have entered the Miss Universe Pageant had she NOT been the daughter of its owner.

    She has the height, the smile, the face. And she is in the right age group

    Just lose about 25 pounds – she would be perfect

  7. i wouldnt feel bad pulling her hair

  8. gurnion

    I’d make her an un-wed teenage mother

  9. Shep

    How does something that hot come from donald trumps genes.

  10. cookie7

    not interested.

  11. lil ol me

    Hello everyone! I’m new to this site. How’s everyone doing today? These stories are hilarious…

  12. Her nose is disturbing..

  13. Son of Gerald_Tarrant

    I would make sweet sweaty sexy love to her bank account.

  14. The Laughing G-d

    @11 good and welcome

    You know, from coming out of Trump’s flesh sack… she could look a lot worse… a lot worse. I am going to go ahead and give her a smiley, because that is a genetic quagmire she had to wade through. Good for you Ivanka, good for you. :D

  15. Expatte

    I cannot believe Tinsley Mortimer’s picture is on The Superficial…. my worlds collide….

  16. Rebecca

    26? Sure it’s not *3*6* ? She looks kinda old…

  17. veggi

    bet she sucks dick for coke.

    yeah, got nothin..

    what the fuck is britney doing??

  18. shameshame

    no matter how hard she tries, she’s still ugly and looks like her gaudy father.

  19. Pixie

    I think she’s pretty and smart, but her nose has really changed a lot over the years.
    Are you sure she’s 26? It seems like she’s been 26 since I was a little kid.

  20. Son of Gerald_Tarrant

    Veggi, BritBrit’s dad put her ass on lock down. That dick must not have known how much people need her around so we can all say “it could be worse, I could be Britney.” I’ll bet TMZ is laying off people without Brit on the street.

  21. veggi

    That’s right G_T.

    Damn him! I’ll bet she’s going insane without her barefoot gas station bathroom trips..

  22. Ray

    Praise the lord she looks like her mother.

  23. gigi

    she on the pill or something? she’s looking slightly more zaftig & womanly than normal…. very nice look for her, but I’m sure some highly critical person in her life is reminding her daily…

  24. Son of Gerald_Tarrant

    I think Brit’s dad is working for Al-Qaeda. Osama bin Laden is probably paying him to keep his daughter from sleeping with all of his sleeper cells.

  25. gia

    she is so pretty! is she wearing green contacts here though?

  26. hate you for no reason

    Fake veiny boobs….yick.

  27. kc

    Her boobs look real and I bet she shags like a minx.

  28. Yo Momma

    AWSOME!!!!!!!!!! Definitely sperm donating material.

  29. bb

    There is NOT ONE person on this site (me included) that she would fuck. Wishful thinking everyone.

  30. nipolian

    Ivanka Trump her from behind in the worst possible way.

  31. sweets

    who the fuck is shorty

  32. God, slow news day? This chick’s boring! And 26? Riiiight…so am I..

  33. Ted Mosby

    I’d ride her like Seattle Slew in the Derby

  34. I see she has not fixed those uneven breast she bought in South America.

    When will women wake up and realize that nobody want to be married to a babe with fake breasts. Small is OK fake isn’t.

  35. Auntie Kryst

    Overheard during Ivanka’s conception:

    “Ivana my partner in business and life, befitting the Trump brand name, my seed and your egg are going to merge conceiving the classiest, swankiest, high-end child New York’s ever seen. It’s going to be lean, tall and with gold trim. We will spare no expense to ensure it is the envy of all in its class. When it grows up it will only court or be courted by the most powerful, wealthy and esteemed possible mates. In a word, it’s going to be fabulous. Now get on all fours, I don’t want you looking at me…I fired!!”

  36. Sauron

    Sadly my testicles aren’t made of Faberge eggs.But the head of my penis is the Koh-I-Noor diamond.Is that allright as well?

  37. C. Commander

    Yo buddy it’s ‘couple IS together” not “couple ARE together”

  38. Al

    Hmmm… While flipping through channels the other night I caught a segment about a lady whose new implants were uneven. The doctor pushed on the higher-riding puppy a couple of times and it seemed to pop into place! I wonder if Ivanka would let Dr. Al take a crack at her high-riding righty? It doesn’t hurt to ask, right?

  39. gotmilk?

    3, that’s because it’s a botched tit job, not a bad bra.

  40. Lowlands

    She doesn’t care about Fabergé eggs and diamonds.She only cares about the inside lol.

  41. havoc

    I don’t know. I’m kinda digging on the blue veins on her tits.

    They match my eyes and balls……


  42. roastbeef

    She and Brooke Hogan should get together and compare their manly features.

  43. ph7

    Some idiot said: < >

    That’s the first investment I made when married: bought myself some funbags to play with.

  44. HAHAHA


    I think she’s really pretty and presents herself very well…but, I’m a chick so what the hell do I know.

  45. Trover

    She is hot, but the mental and emotional baggage of her being a Trump will never go away. Her father will make sure you know that he is richer, fatter, taller, has better hair, banged more chicks, and will do anything you ever want to do better than you ever would. So yeah, she has that going for her.

  46. Clem

    I don’t care if she has false teeth – she’s gorgeous.

  47. gryphon50

    I think for being Donald Trump’s daughter she seems pretty normal and nice….At least she works hard and doesn’t act like a constant attention whore like Paris Hilton. I’m somewhat mystified as to how Donald Trump is her father since she seems ok.

  48. Evil

    She looks… unpleasant

  49. Anal Fistula

    she’s so hot that i don’t even mind that daddy is the Donald. also, she seems shockingly level-headed and intelligent…much unlike her douchetard greasebag older brother

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