It’s Your Mother

December 16th, 2010 // 13 Comments

Cranberry and vodka in the morning. Now that’s good rehab.

Lindsay Lohan has reportedly been receiving threats from a stalker causing the Betty Ford Center to ramp up their security, according to TMZ:

Sources familiar with the situation tell TMZ Lindsay has been receiving harassing phone calls and text messages from unknown numbers — and the unidentified person behind them has been making disparaging statements about her recovery … and her family.
Even scarier, the unknown person is saying he/she knows where Lindsay is staying and is watching her.

In related news, spilling gin on your phone apparently makes you sound like a goddamn serial killer when you’re simply trying to call your daughter to ask where she hid those credit cards from you. “No, I’m not a stalker. This is your mother. Now tell me where the AMEX is or I’ll visit you in your sleep, young lady. MUAHAHAHA! – Do you like that laugh? I think it makes me sound mysterious. Like Kim Cattrall, she’s so sassy.”

Photos: Pacific Coast News


  1. Jimbob

    It looks like her tits fell off, or maybe they just sagged a lot more.

  2. GravyLeg

    LMAO…. So does that mean she is officially cured as soon as she agrees with the caller?

  3. FattyFatty2X4

    Ginger, come out and playyyy

  4. Adam

    I too agree that this is the work of Dina Lohan.

  5. Red Flava

    Too much!!! :O

  6. dq

    Possibly Dina has a hand in this, but I have heard that Herbie the Love Bug can be quite catty. Like Kim Cattrall in Sex in the City. Meow!

  7. Colin

    Well of course they know where she’s staying and are watching her. I mean how hard could it be for a stalker to hide amongst every paparazzo she’s tipped off? So yeah, every paparazzo.

  8. testington

    I don’t really understand why anybody is concerned that she’s getting voicemails saying they know where she is. WE ALL KNOW WHERE SHE IS, we are looking at pictures of her at the damn Betty Ford center, pictures she probably got paid for by tipping off the paparazzi as to where she is.

  9. Inmate 12236969

    Sam Kinison said, “$13,000 dollars for Betty Ford Clinic, if you have $13,000 for rehab you don’t have a problem fucking yet.”

  10. wonder if she wishes her 15 were up. posting about her just prolongs it

  11. Pangulin

    While many of you find this posting hilarious,the stalking of any celebrity including Lindsay Lohan is not something to laugh at. Having said that,the fact that someone suggested this could really be Dina “Orange Oprah” Lohan upping the ante while interesting is a bit misguided….more than likely it’s Michael Lohan trying to convince Lindsay to switch her rehab to his new program!

  12. Stephanie

    You so fucking funny Fish!

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