It’s DJ Paris Hilton

June 25th, 2012 // 47 Comments
DJ Itchy Biskit
Paris Hilton DJ
Paris Hilton Wants To Be A DJ Now Read More »

Warning: Valtrex may cause short-term memory loss.

After overcoming adversity by going against the very fiber of her being and having sex with a black guy to learn the art of DJing, here’s Paris Hilton making her debut at the Sao Paolo Music Festival last night which you’ll be surprised to learn involved her looking completely lost before giving up and just walking around on stage in lingerie. It’s her natural defense mechanism.

NICKY: Paris, why does my favorite pair of underwear have holes burnt through it? Were you in my dresser again?
PARIS: Umm… *strips down to lingerie, pretends to walk catwalk* Oomp-oomp-oomp-oomp skish, oomp-oomp-oomp-oomp skish.
NICKY: Whatever just stay out of my shit.
PARIS: Skish skish skish. *pivots out the door*

Photos: Splash News


  1. Shasta

    Sounds about right. Was anyone expecting her to do well?

  2. USDA Prime McBeef

    That’s a pretty elaborate iPod dock.

    • Anonymous

      I agree– she only needs all that crap hooked up to the itunes playlist on her Macbook because some idiot is paying her and she doesn’t want them to notice her clicking on the mouse while downloads mixes from torrents.

  3. [img][/img]

  4. John

    “I knew I should have stuck to sucking cock…”

  5. She’s like motherfucking Jethro Bodine.
    Up next…
    “granny… I’m gonna be a fry cook!”

  6. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope she still feels compelled to dress like this when she’s 60.
    It’s a blonde praying mantis in garters & it’s coming for your stash.

    • Sven Golly

      She’d look a lot better in night-vision. I’m not talking about infrared I mean pitch black.

      • USDA Prime McBeef

        Well I was unable to successfully jerk off to the night vision sex tape. Maybe I’ll just turn the monitor off and pound it out.

  7. JC

    You think one of her handlers could have taught her to press the play button on iTunes before she went out there.

  8. Crabby Old Guy

    Look…it’s trying to think.

  9. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    She has nice thighs!!!!!!

  10. leroy

    Since when did DJ ing actually require even a modicum of talent?
    Answer: Never. Djing requires zero talent, musical or otherwise

    • doood

      DJ ing only requires a basic knowledge of some songs that go well together. with that, you can work for a radio station.
      however, to disparage real champion DJs is foolish.
      you cannot do what mix master mike does. so you shouldn’t knock it.

      • leroy

        Seriously, a Capuchin monkey can do that. Since when did cut and paste qualify one as a musician or deserving of praise? That hack couldnt carry a tune in a bucket, much less create anything of value without crapping on, then consuming and finally regurgitating something some else actually created. I understand you like it, what i dont understand is why, when there’s a world of people who are actually making something that requires skill and a brain to make as opposed to the musical bollus you gnaw on and declare good.
        This arguement was won with the “Its DJ Paris Hilton” headline so I dunno what to tell ya there Chachi.

      • doood

        aint nobody making an argument for paris hilton here.
        my point is there actually is an art form. an acquired skill
        or kung fu if you will.
        there’s an old interview of jim morrison where he predicts the rise of sampling and phonographs, turntables and computers becoming instruments for creating music.
        nobody is saying you must enjoy this.
        i just think its shortsighted to poo poo something that you could not recreate.
        and no im not talking about idiot celebrity DJs.
        im talking about beatboxers, breakdancers, people who can pull rhymes from out their assholes on the spot and of course
        expert DJs.

        PS the ability to connect with an audience is a valued skill for Any musician, actor, comedian, magician, acrobat, speaker or entertainer who performs live.

      • leroy

        Heres the problem: you are assuming that yourself or I or a common houseplant cant do the same and produce the same product. Because guess what? honest to god, they can. Anyone can produce the same crap these douches do without training, without musical knowledge or skill. Something made with very little skill or effort is not art. it is a product. Lets take it a step further: when a toddler manages not to shit itself the parent rewards it. Why is it an adult never expects to be rewarded for not filling their shorts with ass spackle? It’s because they do things that require so much more effort that something as small as not shitting yourself becomes old hat. Im not saying samples, or electronic music cant be used to create good stuff, but that happens in the hands of a musician, not the IT department. Expect more from yourself and others for once. Quality requires effort and skill not 2 doses of X.
        P.S. Jim Morrison is hardly the litmus test for brilliance: he died of a heroin overdose in a public toilet.
        P.P.S. Additionally, saying ‘Uh- Huh- Yeeeah” every 4 bars does not a musician make.

      • Really, leroy? You don’t see the difference between what Herpes Hilton is doing and the turntablism going on at ? Y’know what… don’t bother answering. You lost the argument when you started implicating plants and monkeys.

      • doood

        cool link man!
        i do believe leroy just got served!

        btw, i was a huge metalhead in highschool and was also one of those people who used to that say rap sucked ass and required no talent whatsoever.
        it is truly amazing how enlightened you can become by just opening your mind up to things you don’t understand.

      • leroy

        You’re absolutely right, I should never have involved your family. In an effort to make it right, Id like to offer your sister a banana. Dont let her fling all of her shit away, as you’ll need to check her stool for helpful things to add to your new magnum opus! JSYK magnum opus does NOT mean your new strap-on.

        PS Enjoy your new janitorial arts degree and again, well played.

      • Why don’t you try producing a techno song then, making a live Dj set. Paris hilton completely destroying her performance is proof she cannot do it right, its not easy. She can beatmatch, mix, or even have the volume at the right level. And she probably can out-dj you since she at least knows how to run a CDJ. I can’t teach a monkey to do any of that nor a house plant wtf are you on crack? Also, i have yet to see my macbook make music on its on, get it on beatport and make me a millionaire. If all it took was geting the tools to be creative to BECOME a creator, then everyone could make a song and get it charted on beatport and make a lot of money, but its not easy. Requires not only musical knowledge, but also technical knowledge, from working with MIDI, Synths, WAVE files, compressors, reverbs, EQ’s … I paid $65,000 in education just to teach me how to produce music on a computer at one of the best schools in the country. Why the fuck are ignorant fools like you given access to comment sections. Go read something educational instead of bashing an artform you have no clue how it works.

      • Burt

        I’m not disagreeing with you, but you must admit that there are plenty of DJ’s who’ve managed to earn quite a decent living despite their shortcomings. Case in point: Paris Hilton. She’ll continue getting gigs as long as people are willing to pay the cover charge to see her.

      • leroy

        That was the BEST use of 65k EVER!
        Well played sir, well played indeed.

      • CranAppleSnapple

        …Hey, I had always heard DeVry was for losers?

  11. tom

    Isn’t there anything not superficial she could be into?

  12. Frank Burns

    I take it DJ = ‘Diagnosed with Jaundice’ in this particular case?

  13. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    If you manage to ignore who the subject is, this is a pretty great looking shot.

  14. ATB

    DJ Valtrex is in da house…

  15. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    She is having fun

  16. Brianna

    Lady Gaga called… She wants her ‘Poker Face’ dress back.

  17. anonym

    man face

  18. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Jon and Kate Plus Hate
    Commented on this photo:

    I’ll buy that for a dollar !

  19. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    So when does she squat on the pineapple?

  20. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Some People will Buy anything for a Buck…..

  21. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    That Echo comes back as “Yuck!”

  22. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Oh yes, right, she’s a DJ

  23. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    just looks painfully awkward

  24. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Yaaaaayyyy, I cued up the 9 minute mix everyone!!!!

  25. Sicarius

    Um, well, at one point during the night she put her hands up in the middle of a track change. Reporters then realised that two hands rose up to change the track while she was doing this.

    I guess she couldn’t even do this well.

  26. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    fantastic legs!

  27. terry

    She better be lucky she’s a white woman because no other race could pull off her bullshit and still get press coverage as if they were fucking talented and note worthy.She better count her blessings that Conrad Hilton was a success.

  28. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Somebody, please, tell me what fucking talent(s) do I have other than sucking a dick on camera and leaving my prescription of valtex at the hotel?

  29. DeucePickle

    I say, go with what you are best at…scratching and tweeking knobs that resemble nipples and Ronson clits.

  30. Paris Hilton DJ Lingerie Outfit Pop Music Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Paris is over 30 and her ass is still fantastic. Her ass is way better than Kim’s ass. And also better than Kate Upton’s ass.

Leave A Comment