It’s Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs

Angelina Jolie’s aunt died of breast cancer last week, the very same disease Angelina publicly took a pre-emptive strike against by chopping off her breasts and telling everyone about it in the New York Times, so you’d just assume she’d show up to her aunt’s funeral over the weekend because she’s so serious about breast cancer. Instead, she went to the London premiere of World War Z and debuted her new implants next to Brad Pitt. But out of respect for women who had to get mastectomies because of actually having breast cancer, I’ll still treat brave Angelina’s breasts the same way I would before her surgery: Boy, I’d love to motorboat those just-as-beautiful puppies while she’s passed out from anorexia and stealing kids.

Live Strong.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, WENN