It’s Angelina Jolie’s New Boobs

June 3rd, 2013 // 71 Comments
R.I.P. Angelina's Boobs
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Angelina Jolie Got A Double Mastectomy Read More »

Angelina Jolie‘s aunt died of breast cancer last week, the very same disease Angelina publicly took a pre-emptive strike against by chopping off her breasts and telling everyone about it in the New York Times, so you’d just assume she’d show up to her aunt’s funeral over the weekend because she’s so serious about breast cancer. Instead, she went to the London premiere of World War Z and debuted her new implants next to Brad Pitt. But out of respect for women who had to get mastectomies because of actually having breast cancer, I’ll still treat brave Angelina’s breasts the same way I would before her surgery: Boy, I’d love to motorboat those just-as-beautiful puppies while she’s passed out from anorexia and stealing kids.

Live Strong.

Photos: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, WENN

superficial

  1. Trek Girl

    Meh – not showing up at the funeral isn’t that big of a deal. People grieve in their own way, she most likely talked to other family members and shared what her plans were, it might have even been the best thing for the other people at the funeral so that it didn’t turn into a circus. The last thing the family needs or probably wants are grainy pictures of them crying and grieving all over the Internet and magazines.

  2. Jelena

    Only I can see is Brad’s boob job

    • Randal

      Angelina is a brave woman, standing before a disease many of us have had some brush with, be it with ourselves, family or friends. These recent pictures she took the time so share, radiates an inner strength from within her that only a few have ever mastered.

      All the best to you health, Angelina. May you live a long, healthy life and continuing being a positive influence on those around you.

      Randal

  3. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Hammy
    Commented on this photo:

    What she did is incredibly commendable and I give props to her. She is an amazing woman.

  4. SLiver

    You’re on your way to writing the great American novel, Fish. I can feel it.

  5. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    So….when are we gonna see those new puppies unleashed in a movie?

  6. Jazzy Jeff

    Knowing her and what a dishonest sack of shit she is, she probably just had the implants and no mastectomies but used it as a convenient excuse for getting them to not seem vain.

    • You’re too young to be that cynical!

    • eljeran

      Couldnt agree more. her reputation as St. Angie the selfless humanitarian could withstand a nuclear bomb. I have never seen so many people so desperate to bathe in any celebrity’s reflective fame as people are with Brad and Angie. She had a BOOB JOB. Nothing more, so what if she is a high risk for breast cancer. Did she have cancer? No. Yet SHE is the brave one. Sickens me. She needed brand new perky boobies to star in Maleficent oh and to escort her dumb as fuck husband to his WWZ premiere. That is ALL! But she wants so much to make people think she is so above feeling vanity. Such bullshit.

  7. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    This story is bullshit. Her man is about to release the biggest turkey in hollywood history and this passionate PR con job on the public is just that. A ruse. Show me the fucking scares Angie!

  8. alex

    Wow. She’s got the thinnest arms I’ve ever seen. Like a pencil.

    • moreija

      The irony is that some people consider AJ a strong woman, and give her roles playing a badass. In reality, she doesn’t look like she could do a sit-up or pull-up to save her life.

  9. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Ana
    Commented on this photo:

    Brad Pitt is transforming into Fabio

  10. Cher X

    What if this was all a ruse to get new implants and make herself look like good in the process. Not saying it happened, or that breast cancer isn’t the worst (it is) but this is Hollywood. So…what if….

    • Trek Girl

      If she could hide the fact that she had a double mastectomy until she felt like speaking about it, then she could hide a boob job without anyone knowing for quite some time. She wouldn’t need to go through all of the pain and mental stress and strain of a mastectomy just for implants.

  11. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Sorry…I’m usually all for the funny. This story didn’t come across that way.

  12. judgingyou

    Did they get couples boob jobs?

  13. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    ThisWillHurt
    Commented on this photo:

    “I think it’s brave of you, Angelina, that you were willing to undergo such a drastic procedure. It’s very inspiring.”
    “Thank you so much.”
    “And Brad, it’s very commendable that you stayed by her side through her double mastectomy.”
    “What’s the big deal? She got new titties! You should see’em. They bounce like the real thing. They’re so much fu- Hey! Where you going?”

  14. Griefer

    Those look like standard bolt-ons.

  15. Robb7

    WOW, the comments about this women who had her breasts lopped off to save her life are pretty damn crude. Hope no female you care about has to make that decision.

    • I’m a female, and I know that I’ll never make that decision. My mom had breast cancer, but that doesn’t make it certain that I will get it. I eat a diet that is very low in animal proteins and fat, and I don’t mess with my hormones. I won’t even consider chopping off my titties unless I am diagnosed with cancer and have no other options.

    • She didnt get them to save her life because she didnt have breast cancer. of she was going to get breast cancer in the future she could have just as easily had them lopped off in the event that she got it. IM with everyone else. These two manipulate the press like no one can.

  16. inkydink

    she sure made them big

  17. poopy

    So brave, thank god she went for the giant implants. How awful would it have been if she went for a modest size!

    • Trek Girl

      There is most likely still swelling that is causing them to look that big. It also takes some time for implants to settle. Once they do, they will probably look a bit smaller and more like her previous size.

      • KC

        If they’re still swollen then wouldn’t she have picked a dress let her wear a bra or a bandage? The wardrobe choice screams “they’ve healed” to me.

      • Trek Girl

        Her implants are brand spankin’ new. That means that the way they look now is most likely not the way they will look once they have had the time to work with her body, mature, and take on a more natural look.
        Swelling (I’m not talking about major swelling) can last a month or longer. The true shape and final size can’t really be seen right now because of the healing and “settling” process. Once all of that is over — which can take months depending on certain variables — her bust will most likely fall in line with the size she was before.

  18. Metastasize this

    I think she got the boob germs from Christina Applegate. Maybe they shared a toilet or something

  19. She looks good. I don’t see any reason to not believe her about the mastectomies. She has never been shy about anything in life and has been downright dead honest about any and everything she has done, good or bad. Why the hell would she lie about something as trivial as a boob job if she was getting one?

    Also, I am sure she stayed away from the funeral due to the chaos her appearance would cause, but whatever, try to tear her down.

    • Yeah, sure.

      She probably had fertility treatments and she never talked about those. Most people think her mom is French Canadian even though her mom made that up to sound more interesting when she tried to start her own acting career. Angelina is only honest about the parts of her life that she wants to talk about, she’s not completely transparent.

      If going to the funeral was important to her then her family could have kept the date and location of the funeral private and she would have been able to go without causing a disturbance. Either she wanted to go to the movie premier more than her aunt’s funeral or the family didn’t want her there so they made it impossible for her to go without drawing attention. I assume A.

    • Krat

      Yes, El Jefe. She is SO honest. Like when she said she” didn’t need Brad Pitt” in her denial of having an affair with him in 2005. While she was pregnant with his child. Finally admitted the pregnancy in Jan. 2006 and the affair a couple of years ago (to which Jennifer Aniston responded “not cool”.) She has also lied about stating she hasn’t had any plastic surgery, when her facial features have completely changed since her 13 year-old-girl photos. She had her first nose job by age 15 already. Yes, she is such an honest lady. We should all aspire to have so much integrity, lol. This couple deserves each other. Both overpaid, over-hyped losers.

  20. When do her old boobs go up on ebay?

  21. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    MFer
    Commented on this photo:

    Said it once, and I’ll say it again. Just an excuse to get new boobs after all those kids sucked the life out of em. Proof positive.

  22. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Rose
    Commented on this photo:

    God I wish she’d eat something. She’s so beautiful, but because of her weight, she looks 15 years older than what she actually is. Maybe the stress of all that’s happened with her played a factor in her weight, but she’s been too thin for a while. Have a couple extra meals, lady! I miss the old Angelina.

  23. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    damn i’d hate to wake up to that face every morning…

  24. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    Some women like to show some skin. Angelina likes to go full Skeletor.

  25. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    JennywithaY
    Commented on this photo:

    Say what you will, but it sure was nice of Jen Anistone to let Brad Pitt keep her hair in the divorce.

  26. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Okay now I REALLY don’t believe her hype.

  27. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    TheAdamsFamily
    Commented on this photo:

    Wow, she looks old. Just not the same sparkle at ALL.

  28. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    may
    Commented on this photo:

    scary!

  29. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Lissa
    Commented on this photo:

    what other star is devious enough to undergo breast surgery and cover it up with false cancer stories and let society call her brave for her bigger boobs? Oh yes, the one that stole someone’s husband in front of billions of people and still got away with it. Genius.

  30. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Hard to believe she’s only 38.

    • Cheryl

      I know, she looks SO old. I am close to 50 and look younger than her and haven’t had anything done yet. I think that facelift she had a few years ago that was all over the net is what aged her. Her skin is too thin and when it is stretched like that, it makes a person look really old. A little plastic surgery can be a good thing, but Angelina has had everything done from head to toe and the end result is just scary. She clearly has a mental issue and her partner must not love her very much to not step in and say anything about this addiction. She used to be very pretty a few years back before she met Brad. Even though Angelina had a lot of plastic surgery back then, it looked good. After Brad, she just got so addictive with it and procedure after procedure left her looking like an old plastic doll. I am also wondering why she chose such a fake looking boob job and so many sizes larger than her prior ones? It really is not attractive on her frame. Her Oscar dress this year looked ridiculous with those hard fake boobs on that tiny frame. That selfie where she is near Lupita…Lupita looks just gorgeous and the very heavily made-up Angelina just looks sick.

    • Looking 48 at least.

  31. Guest

    Yeah her boobs look stiff and don’t move. They look like plastic boobs to me.

  32. eljeran

    Her reputation as St. Angie the selfless humanitarian could withstand a nuclear bomb. I have never seen so many people so desperate to bathe in any celebrity’s reflective fame as people are with Brad and Angie. She had a BOOB JOB. Nothing more, so what if she is a high risk for breast cancer. Did she have cancer? No. Yet SHE is the brave one. Sickens me. She needed brand new perky boobies to star in Maleficent oh and to escort her dumb as fuck husband to his WWZ premiere. That is ALL! But she wants so much to make people think she is so above feeling vanity. Such bullshit.

    • GoDieInAHole

      Omg have you done your research I guess not!!! She had a double mastectomy do you think she would chop her boobs off for no reason .she had a 70per cent risk of cancer. Her mother and aunt died from it too. Cancer runs in her family and her kids have a 80per cent chance of having it too. Obviously you know nothing so go to hell. And what humanitarian work have you done… Probably nothing you probably hate the world and moan that you have the worst life ever while she’s in war torn countries doing the best she can to give an education to children making sure they have clothes ,food and water and what are you doing sitting on your phone or computer talking crap in making yourself feel better. Go die in a hole

  33. eljeran

    Just wondering when everyone is going to snap out of their coma and see these two self absorbed image obsessed whores for the people they actually are. Angie is a straight up misogynist and Brad has never been any more than an embarassing drooling star struck pussy. The constant rumors of their wedding that has YET to happen after 7 years of talking about it and their constant talk of retirement….for their kids…because they are so selfless and their kids come first…blah blah blah. Neither one of them will EVER give up the limelight to be with their kids. LOL! What a joke. And if they do get married, then the tabloids will stop talking about their wedding. Then all there will be to talk about is the brood. brood. brood. brood. brood. Is anyone else sick of that fucking word?

  34. Krat

    OMG! This is by FAR the funniest commentary on Angelina’s plastic surgery addiction I have read. Every feature on Angelina Jolie’s has been worked on, so why not they body? Yeah, I am sure she got the boob job 5 years after she knew she had the gene– and 3 sizes larger–.all because she feared she would get a cancer, that didn’t even kill her mother. (Ovarian cancer did). But hey, gotta hand it to the girl. If you can turn your vain boob job into an international cause and actually get people calling you “brave” for mutilating your body out of vanity, then more power to you. So, I assume she had all those nose jobs because she feared nasal cancer. The blepharoplasty because she feared eyelid cancer. The lip reduction because she fear lip cancer. The cheek and chin implants because…you get the idea. Is there anything left on this woman’s body that is her original parts?

  35. GoDieInAHole

    Umm ok so the person who wrote this story…. You know nothing about angelina and the shallow things you say hurt my feelings. Instead of dishing up false accusations which you probably read in a magazine find the real facts out. would you prefer yourself to have no nipple and no breasts with a lot of scars I think not so think before you start writing shallow remarks because you’ll get no where in life!! Oh and hope you die and rot in hell. And your the superficial one. Jerkoff

    • Cheryl

      The “shallow things you say hurt my feelings”? WTF! You get hurt about someone commenting on a vapid celebrity that you don’t even know…and has absolutely nothing to do with you? Why don’t you write to Angelina and tell her how everyone is hurting your feelings because they are making fun of her using her vain boob job as some brave humanitarian event.

  36. Dan

    I just can’t help but wonder… Does ANYONE edit your work for content or grammar? Ever?

  37. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Of course I don’t eat that elitist GOOP crap Patrow pushes. Can’t you see the menu from a Chinese restaurant I have tattooed on my arm? Kung Pao chicken $5!”

  38. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Smapdi
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hey Brad, did you hear the one about the ex-girlfriend who can’t get pregnant?”
    “Yes, every time a lame romantic comedy is released.”

  39. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    one
    Commented on this photo:

    the roots grow out of my right eye.

  40. Angelina Jolie New Boobs Brad Pitt World War Z Premiere
    Commented on this photo:

    Shit…holy skin trees, Batman WTF?!

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