In one of the strangest and most confusing interviews I’ve ever read, Isaac Cohen tells the News of the World that Britney Spears was a sex maniac and fell apart once the sex stopped.
On partying, having sex, and coping with her divorce:
“She loves sex and is incredibly adventurous. She was totally happy when we were locked in each other’s arms. But once the sex stopped Britney was like a little girl lost, unable to cope. She would lie like a limp rag doll in my arms and and say, ‘Why can’t everyone leave me alone?’ and, ‘What have I done to deserve this?’ By the time I met Britney she was burnt out. She knew she had been drinking and partying as a way to try to banish the bad stuff from her life. Far from the trashy drunk, I saw a very shy, sweet girl who was just desperately sad about what had happened with her marriage. Yes she enjoyed Jack Daniel’s but she was trying not to get in the state she had been in with Paris. Her boys mean everything to her and she worried she might lose them in a custody battle. It was clear she was not over her marriage. The first time she invited me to her home I saw her wedding dress hung on the wall in a glass box. As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us. She had not even begun to move on with her life. She needed me to hold her and tell her what a beautiful girl she is. We would make slow love until the sun came up. She has an amazing body and I loved exploring every inch of it. Britney is not shy about her body so she slowly stripped off her clothes and beckoned me to join her under the stars in the pool.”
On their trip to Vegas:
It was an amazing view over the Las Vegas strip. But we didn’t stay long as we wanted to try out the bed. So we clambered on and I grabbed the remote and started it turning round and round. All the time as we made love we watched ourselves in the mirrored ceiling. It was amazing but we did it so many times it made us start to feel sick. We had to turn it off.”
On her figure:
“Like any woman who has had two children she worried about her figure. As far as I was concerned she was gorgeous, but she had such low self esteem she sometimes would not listen. She would say, ‘Am I fat? Am I fat?’ then spend hours dancing around the house trying to burn off calories. She was always jumping around. Other times, she got so low she didn’t care what she looked like. She could not care less some days if she went out of the house without brushing her hair or checking to see if her outfit matched. That’s just where she was in her life. She had so much on her plate with the children she had precious little time to worry about how she looked.“
On Paris and breaking up:
“I rarely saw Britney with any friends and during our time together I never saw her with Paris, it was like that was a part of her life she wanted to forget. I adore Britney and in a different place at a different time we might have stood a chance. It was far too soon for her to get involved in a relationship with anyone. But she has coped with so much in her life I hope she does not give up now. She is too special for that.”
What’s wrong with this guy? He keeps using the phrase “made love” and speaks like he’s writing a bargain bin romance novel. He probably has a giant poster of Fabio hanging over his bed. It’s no wonder his relationship with Britney Spears didn’t work out because apparently he has a vagina.
#31 . . . “mmmm…backfat…yummy…asspimples on cellulite…oh baby…fat roll over double c-section scarring…so hard, can’t hold back much longer…rodney-king-beaten-up pussy…oh so hottttt…”
You are too funny. I love it.
Anyhow, can someone, anyone, tell me what is up with her hair? Is it a faux mohawk or what? I know that this is the least thing to be questioning but really what’s up with it?
Also, is that guy’s hand on her boobie? Going for it? What?
That is a lot of inches to explore.
Isn’t this the same publication that had her hillbilly 55 hour husband using the British term “gobsmacked” in an interview?
I’m taking this supposed interview with an entire salt lick.
She’s not OVER K-Fed? How is this possible? I want to see K-Fed take Angelina away from Brad. $100 bucks says he can take Valerie away from Johnny Depp.
#33 Eat shit and die Wally.
“As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us…” And if you read the rest of Isaac’s pulse pounding diary of exploring “every inch” of Brandine’s trailer park lusciousness, it didn’t seem to slow him down a bit! Funny…if I were exploring every inch of my girlfriend’s body and all of a sudden detected the presence of KFed in my bed, it would be time to get up, make a sandwich, pop open a beer and put on a John Wayne movie. No more exploring, time to put the little general away for the night and blow a mournful rendition of “Taps.” The idea of Mr. PoPoZao signifyin’ as I “explored” would be a real deal-breaker for me. But HEY…that’s just ME.
When Old Mr. Superficial would write those charmingly degrading bits about women – like which horrible things he’d rather inflict on his penis than the vaginas of various skanky celebritants (hilarious!) – they didn’t come off as pathetically sexist as this crap. What’s the deal? Most closeted fags are funnier than this. I expect better.
First of all – what a fucker (although I said that about Howard K already) but – c’mon guy you were just the next KFed –
Secondly – I LOVE THE FUCKING SMART ASSES IN HERE!!!!!!!!! You guys rock!
lmmfao.
“….rodney-king-beaten-up pussy…oh so hottttt…”
To #10 Wally~
you sure know how to sweet-talk a gal. I see them standing in line for a chance with you.
He’s speaking in parables, guys:
we would make slow love until the sun came up= She passed out before we ever made it to the bed
her boys mean everything to her= little spf begged his mom to come and she hung up on him
she has an amazing body and i loved exploring every inch of it= she had so many damn inches on her fat ass my arms couldn’t fit around her
Banging some fat stupid cunt in a rotating bed above the strip in ‘Vegas is low rent, not hot fantasy. Especially when you know the bitch brushes her teeth with Jack Daniels and has left two kids somewhere screaming for their Mommy.
Issac Cohen has again revealed what a jerk off he really is.
“it was like Kevin was in bed beside us”
He probably was.
No fucking way this guy was sober when he was porking this waste of space skank. And no fucking way he enjoyed it the way he claims. Guaranteed that boning Britney is about as close as you can get to violating a farm animal!
I got a thought. Lets put Britney, Paris Hilton, Scarlet Johansson and Cameron Diaz in a dark room with one knife. Then we can wait to see who comes out alive. Of course, knowing them, they could just have an orgy and there’s no camera. Dang.
#56 Fucking Awesome!hahahhaha!
this has to be fake. it talks about a wedding dress in a box? last i checked they got married in track suits. nice try.
did she pay this clown to say this about her?
Wait wait wait…
“The first time she invited me to her home I saw her wedding dress hung on the wall in a glass box. As we made love that night it was like Kevin was in bed beside us.”
So they “made love” the first time he went to her house? Hmmm… she wasn’t slutty at all…
Oh writer/editor…you misogynist piece of trash.
ok, he says that she was definately not over her marriage, she was a lost little girl, she wasn’t ready for this blah, blah, blah, yet he had no problem screwing her and then telling the world about it. i hope isaac cohen is seen by millions for what he really is! he’s a nobody trying to get rich off of her very serious problems just like her 1st husband Jason.
well, that’s actually a good picture…but she fell apart way before that…