‘Iron Fist’ Has A New Trailer, I Think It’s About Fists
One of Fish’s favorite things to do is to
make butter sculptures of Hilary Duff then tell me “their passion burned too hot” when she melts make me write about comic book shit that I know nothing about while he sits back and watches like he just handed a calculator to a baby. “He put it right in his mouth! HA!” So here’s the new Iron Fist trailer, which I assume the internet is going apenuts over for two reasons.
1. It seems vaguely Asian-y, but stars a white guy who I will never bother to correctly identify, so let’s just call him dime store Danny Masterson.
2. It’s a comic book thing, so comic book assholes get to retreat to their respective corners over it and endlessly debate about cannon, “ultimate runs,” and other terminology I’ve heard in passing on my way to do things like renovate a house and raise a child.
Because, look, if you’re into comics this hard, cool, whatever, I don’t begrudge anyone their hobbies. But this shit right here? This is them selling Batman to you again for the millionth time. I mean, for fucks sake, this is a billionaire orphan who goes and studies martial arts then returns home to fight crime. I may be 100% comic book clueless, but I can at least recognize that obvious repackaging. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get excited for the new Fast & Furious movie. Dom’s the bad guy this time!