‘Iron Fist’ Is Getting Ripped Apart By Critics

Because you obviously care so hard I’m about to find a boiled rabbit on my stove, here’s my ranking of the Marvel Netflix shows so far:

1. Jessica Jones
2. Luke Cage
3. Daredevil (Weighed down by Season One and doesn’t have the Luke Cage soundtrack or Mahershala Ali.)

That said, every single one of them could’ve easily been chopped down to eight episode tops because, goddamn, do they all tread water for way too long.

Which brings us to Iron Fist, a show that already started the week off badly after Finn Jones rage-quit Twitter when someone correctly pointed out that a white dude going to Asia and becoming better at karate than Asian people is some white savior horseshit. However, all of that’s about to be a moot point because it turns out Iron Fist has an bigger problem: It’s boring AF.

Here are just some of the reviews via CBR:

Maureen Ryan, Variety: “‘Marvel’s Iron Fist’ is deadly — in all the wrong ways. Not one element of this plodding piece works. The action scenes lack spark, snap, and originality. None of the flat, by-the-numbers characters makes any lasting impression. And as origin stories go, the tale of Danny Rand (Finn Jones), at least as rendered by this creative team, is about as exciting as a slice of Velveeta cheese left out in the sun too long. It takes forever for anything to happen on “Iron Fist,” and as it stumbles along, the uninspired production design, unexceptional cinematography, and painful dialogue fail to distract the viewer from the overall lack of depth, detail, or momentum.”

Jim Vejvoda, IGN: “‘Iron Fist,’ exec produced by Dexter’s Scott Buck, is Marvel’s most generic Netflix series yet. So much of it feels familiar from many other recent superhero tales — Batman Begins, Doctor Strange, even a bit of Iron Man and Arrow — and the story the series has thus far offered in its first six episodes does little to shake up that well-worn formula.”

Alan Sepinwall, Uproxx: “The fact that both Danny (Finn Jones) and Colleen (Jessica Henwick) aren’t good at talking should be no sin for the genre. The problem is that ‘Iron Fist’ is virtually all talk — most of it painfully dull — and the fighting is both brief and unconvincing. It’s easily the worst of the Netflix Marvel shows — where the others tend to start off well and then run into massive pacing problems around episode 8 or 9, ‘Iron Fist’ begins as if it’s already at that sag point — and an unfortunate illustration of the perils of miscasting.”

So if your first reaction to the trailer was “Why the hell would I watch a show about Danny Masterson doing karate?” you should probably go with that. And if you’re not too busy, maybe make life decisions for me because I was going to watch it, which probably means I need a social worker. There’s no denying it anymore.

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Photo: Netflix/Marvel