The Crap We Missed – Thursday 8.29.13

August 29th, 2013 // 290 Comments

“Internet perverts, TO ME!!”

Welcome to Thursday’s The Crap We Missed featuring the most depressing back-to-back shots of Baywatch stars you’ll ever see. Unless I successfully outbid Steve Hirsch for the rights to the sextape The Hoff made with a McRib. Then we’ll be in business, sexy, mustard-covered penis busine–Woah! What the hell? *grabs keyboard away from Fish* Ok, where was I? Right, crap pics, why does the back of my head hurt and why do I taste pickles? It’s probably nothing. Here’s Leonardo DiCaprio claiming the Captain Douche title, which I honestly can’t believe didn’t go to either of these two, and we’re way past due for a sad Jason Segel meme.

Here, I’ll get it started,

- Photo Boy







 

Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN

superficial

  1. Jamie Foxx Joe Biden 50th Anniversary of the Martin Luther King I Have A Dream Speech
    Commented on this photo:

    “Shit, they are both black, which one is The President?”

  2. Lady Gaga Butt Spandex Pants
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Her good ass is back — makes me very happy!

  3. Simon Cowell Baby Mama Lauren Silverman Nipples See Through Shirt
    Commented on this photo:

    Ahh, gold digger whores, gold bless their hearts.

  4. Bill Murray Bloody Bandage On Forehead The Late Show With David Letterman
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    One nasty fucker!

  5. Milla Jovovich In Bodybag Cymbeline Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Fuck, for a minute I thought Farrah Abraham was dead. Disappointment reigns.

  6. Kirsten Dunst Workout Clothes
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    Looking real hausfrau, Kirsten.

  7. Adam Lambert Jared Leto Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Aww, gay love.

  8. Lindsey Gort Butt Cheetah Print Skirt The Carrie Diaries Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Damn, I might actually have to watch this show.

  9. Natalia Borges Panty Flash Upskirt Gravity Premiere 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    Holy God.

  10. Sad Jason Segel Meme Miley Twerk
    Commented on this photo:

    LMAO, worth going all the way to the end.

  11. Lindsey Gort Butt Cheetah Print Skirt The Carrie Diaries Set
    Robb77
    Commented on this photo:

    Good springy ass.

  12. Ireland Baldwin Butt Bikini On Top Giant Rock Instagram
    Dick Hell
    Commented on this photo:

    Isn’t that the stance assumed by the pap her dad sodomized on the hood of a car? The recent one, not all the other times.

  13. Lindsey Gort Butt Cheetah Print Skirt The Carrie Diaries Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Gort, Klaatu berada nikto…

  14. EL James Cleavage See Through Shirt Chateau Marmont
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    How does someone who looks like THAT write hot, sexy crap??!!

    • Jenn

      All that’s required to write about sex is nimble fingers and a good imagination. I didn’t find what I read of her books all that hot. More power to her though.

  15. Natalia Borges Panty Flash Upskirt Gravity Premiere 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    I see a good trend coming — especially with the “can you top this” starlets of H-wood!

  16. Ed Sheeran Hot Chick Backseat Hooray Henrys
    Commented on this photo:

    So, “Ed Sheeran” refers to what results when Rupert Grint is stuffed like a goose for foie gras and then shot from a cannon?

  17. Carrie Fisher Shiny Robe Dress 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Robb7
    Commented on this photo:

    She even dresses bi-polar.

  18. Pamela Anderson Nipples See Through Dress
    Commented on this photo:

    In my head, her voice is like Dr. Mrs. The Monarch’s.

  19. Sandra Bullock Wiping Off George Clooney Chin 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    He’s graduate from pancake makeup to crêpe makeup.

  20. Jamie Foxx Joe Biden 50th Anniversary of the Martin Luther King I Have A Dream Speech
    Commented on this photo:

    Biden is indulging in his fantasy of being in the middle of an ice cream sandwich.

  21. Bill Murray Bloody Bandage On Forehead The Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    I hope those are just makeup effects.

  22. EL James Cleavage See Through Shirt Chateau Marmont
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks exactly like what I picture a typical fanfic writer to look like.

  23. Carrie Fisher Shiny Robe Dress 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    “Who’s scruffy-looking?”

  24. Sad Jason Segel Meme Miley Twerk
    Commented on this photo:

    The best, most accurate part of this is the blank stare on his face as he completely ignores her.

  25. Miranda Kerr Butt Legs Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    Looks better brunette, IMO. The blonde makes her look too fake.

  26. Natalia Borges Panty Flash Upskirt Gravity Premiere 70th Venice International Film Festival
    AngryUnicorn54
    Commented on this photo:

    You guys! Come see how good my vagina looks!

  27. Carrie Fisher Shiny Robe Dress 70th Venice International Film Festival
    AngryUnicorn54
    Commented on this photo:

    You guys! Come see how good her vagina looks!

  28. Miranda Kerr Butt Legs Lingerie Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    She totally ripped off the look from ’60s teen star Ewa Aulin, who was Miss Teen Sweeden in 1965, starred in the Psychedelic movie Candy, and packed it all up at 23 to get remarried and become a teacher. Just Google “Ewa Aulin Candy Flowers”, and you’ll see what I mean. Also Google
    “Ewa Aulin Naked” for an extra little treat.

    BTW I would still bang her until her ears bled. After all Ewa is only about 6 months older than I am.

    Oh, I’d also bang Miranda Kerr, but it’d probably be my ears that would start bleeding.

  29. Adam Lambert Jared Leto Terry Richardson
    Commented on this photo:

    Leto could almost certainly pass for the hyothetical lovechild of Courtney Cox and Russell Brand

  30. Michael Bay Transformers 4 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    He looks deep in thought, but really all of his thought bubbles were long ago replaced with mushroom clouds.

  31. Milla Jovovich In Bodybag Cymbeline Set
    Commented on this photo:

    Wait, they just wheel people out with the body bags wide open now?

  32. Natalia Borges Panty Flash Upskirt Gravity Premiere 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    The front dress flab looks ridiculous to the point of where it just starts to resemble an unattached, free-hanging part of a onesie or a diaper.

  33. Jamie Foxx Joe Biden 50th Anniversary of the Martin Luther King I Have A Dream Speech
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Jamie just grabbed Biden’s ass and from the look on the old dude’s face, he scored.

  34. Carrie Fisher Shiny Robe Dress 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    you know those environmental ads of sea animals covered in oil and trapped in plastic bags?

  35. Lady Gaga Butt Spandex Pants
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    That bitch stole some of George Clinton’s weave! Get the funk out!

  36. Leonardo DiCaprio Blue Slippers Lukas Haas Fedora
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    Did Lukas wet his pants? Ew.

  37. Carrie Fisher Shiny Robe Dress 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Jenn
    Commented on this photo:

    I’m a little teapot, short and stout..

  38. Milla Jovovich In Bodybag Cymbeline Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “No, you moron!! I said her CAREER was dead!!!”

  39. Jamie Foxx Joe Biden 50th Anniversary of the Martin Luther King I Have A Dream Speech
    CK
    Commented on this photo:

    “I’m color-blind, yo!”

  40. Alexandra Paul Armpit Stain Riddick Premiere
    Daemon8666
    Commented on this photo:

    “TALES FROM THE CRYPT! AHHHHH HAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!”

  41. Michael Bay Transformers 4 Set
    Daemon8666
    Commented on this photo:

    “Hmmm…can I fit the Mountain Dew AND Coke machines in this one shot?”

  42. Sad Jason Segel Meme Miley Twerk
    Commented on this photo:

    “That’s the second-largest object I’ve had up my ass today!”

  43. Pamela Anderson Nipples See Through Dress
    navvet75
    Commented on this photo:

    She has jowls now.

    • Trex

      All women get them as they age. It’s the female version of male pattern baldness. Estrogen production dries up, collagen in the skin becomes a distant memory, jowls develop and arms become flabby.

      This is why you never, ever get married. Girlfriends are much easier to trade in for a younger upgrade, and there’s always more young hot chicks who finds older guys attractive because of their wallets.

  44. Michael Bay Transformers 4 Set
    Commented on this photo:

    “If I filmed a soaking wet woman exploding in slow-motion while washing a car in daisy dukes, would time and space implode and the universe reset itself to the start? BAY, YOU MADMAN, YOU’VE DONE IT!!!”

  45. Milla Jovovich In Bodybag Cymbeline Set
    Commented on this photo:

    With any other actor I would cry spoiler, but in her case this is probably the prologue. Michelle Rodriguez hasn’t even died at his point.

  46. Bill Murray Bloody Bandage On Forehead The Late Show With David Letterman
    Commented on this photo:

    You fucking swine. How dare you? You are unfit to know Bill Murray’s name. Unfit to lay eyes upon his glorious visage. Unworthy to occupy the same physical universe. To him, you are a slug in the sun. You have been privy to a great becoming but you recognize nothing. You are an ant in the afterbirth. Before him you rightly tremble, but you owe him more than fear: YOU OWE HIM AWE!

  47. Natalia Borges Panty Flash Upskirt Gravity Premiere 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    She has either no idea or ultimate knowledge of how dresses work.

  48. Ireland Baldwin Butt Bikini On Top Giant Rock Instagram
    Commented on this photo:

    *shove*

  49. Carrie Fisher Shiny Robe Dress 70th Venice International Film Festival
    Commented on this photo:

    The missing arm is sadly the least disturbing element.

  50. Ed Sheeran Hot Chick Backseat Hooray Henrys
    Commented on this photo:

    Man, is he going to get a mouthful from Taylor when she sees this pic. *SKREEEE!!!*

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