Angel Haze On Ireland Baldwin: ‘We F*ck’

June 27th, 2014 // 54 Comments
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Ever since breaking up with Slater Trout (actual name), Ireland Baldwin has been constantly seen on Instagram with rapper Angel Haze who just confirmed to The Independent that the two fuck which just saved me from writing a post about Shia LaBeouf terrorizing a homeless guy before his arrest. Then again, that story is also rich with pussy. Anyway…

“I don’t know if there’s like some confirm or deny thing with the way relationships work in the media, but everyone just calls us best friends, best friends for life, like we’re just friends hanging out,” she told The Independent. “It’s funny. It’s rad in some ways, it sucks in others.”

“An interracial gay couple, I mean that’s just weird for America right now. We fuck and friends don’t fuck. I have never fucked one of my friends. Once I see you in that way, it doesn’t happen.
“But we do f**k and it’s crazy and that’s weird to say because I think about it in terms of an audience reading it and them thinking, ‘What the hell?’ But it happens.”

Of course, Ireland Baldwin has been all but saying those exact words on Instagram:

And in case the caption doesn’t show up – I never know with these embeds. – Ireland Baldwin wrote: “don’t let this go to your head, but you’re the best I’ve ever had… @angxlhxze” So for everyone who hated the shit out of Slater Trout for having crazy teenage sex that we’ll never, ever have again, take comfort in knowing he’s seeing every word of this and doubting the potency of his erections for the rest of his life. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy except I did, and Satan was like, “I can’t in good conscience take your soul for this. This needed to be done.” He’s nicer than people realize.

Photos: Getty, Splash News


  1. kenny

    that’s better… nice job.

  2. Where do I sign away my soul to be with both of them at the same time? Because they’re both pretty hot.

  3. This should be a fun thread.

  4. Uggh and all we get is a sex tape from losers/cows… We need this one to happen.

  5. JC

    Somewhere out there, Alec Baldwin’s recording a voice memo on his iPhone to remind himself to start calling Ireland a thoughtless little fag instead of pig.

  6. Dick Nose

    Keepin it classy I see

  7. Nah, not buying it. Just some contrived bullshit to get both their names out there. Whatever I guess.

  8. cc

    I am glad that they haven’t leaked a sex tape. I have to confess I’ve always worried that circumstances might arise where I’d fap myself to death and that would definitely be it.

  9. Short Round

    Gotta love the irony. Alec’s little pig turning into the very thing he not so secretly despises.

    (Wonder if anyone has done a study about how a bad father-daughter relationship increases the chances of becoming a lesbian. Just a thought.)

  10. anonym

    I wouldn’t mind a lesbo tape of these 2, even if ireland does have a face that reminds me of Stephen.

  11. Swearin

    To be honest, I blame her mom for this: I’ll bet a young, impressionable Ireland saw “Cool World” and thought to herself, “wow, Mom is fucking HOT as a cartoon. Do real, adult women look that good half-naked?” And thus the seeds were planted, slowly watered over the years by a father’s neglect and casual homophobia.

  12. Your move, Hilaria Baldwin.

  13. ManWhoHasSeenAVagina

    Fish, you can’t compare yourself to a woman in bed. Bisexual chicks like pussy and dick, two different experiences. I don’t let it get to me at all if my girlfriend is really into another girl. Don’t be so insecure.

    Also, when can we get the voicemail from Alec calling her a rude, little, carpet-munching, pig dyke?

    Lastly, that is some nasty vagina that Ireland’s been licking, gross. In this case, it is clearly being done to piss off daddy.

  14. Frunken

    “Yeah, we fuck,” Hazel confirmed, before going on to say, “bitch, so what? That’s about as far as her body goes.”

  15. Her father has to be proud of her inclusive non discriminitory lifestyle after all he is a champion of liberalism and a psychopath. This really should be a non story as he probably introduced them to each other.

  16. FruitLoop

    Whats the absolute baseline, vanilla, missionary style type sex that lesbians have? With hetro couples the oral seems to get pretty minimal in a long term relationship.

    In the long term, is it oral with lesbians, is that the goto vanilla fucking they have? Or is it like a handjob, or fisting or something? Heck, now I’m trying to figure out what the old-hat cliched 15 minute style of fucking that lesbians have is…..

  17. buzz

    Meh…just two attention seeking whores seeking attention.

  18. Ah, what the hell! I never would have been able to fuck her anyway.

  19. Girls just wanna have fun…

  20. Arlmlo Schlongfooster

    Any idea what is being inserted?

  21. Cock Dr

    “But we do f**k and it’s crazy”
    Maybe not anymore, not after this interview. Because blabbing about dirty secret fun stuff ruins everything.

  22. Ireland Baldwin Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Event
    Commented on this photo:

    if his face was on her body, that would be hot!

  23. Ireland Baldwin Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Event
    Commented on this photo:

    Dear Genetic Lottery,


    With Love,
    Rumer, Scout, and Tallelah Willis XXXOOXXXX

  24. Visible

    She is the perfect little idiot, A mascot for the generation.

  25. Can’t say I’m surprised and I can’t say i really care. It makes no difference to me whether she’s gay or not. I’ll fap to her instagram account all the same. I guess this means she and Slater were bearding for each other.

    I guess now we know where Alec’s rage comes from. I wonder if hatred for her father fueled this lifestyle change?

  26. Wait, I forgot to mention earlier.



  27. Who are these two? Why should we care? What makes them think they’re anybody? When did this become news? Where are dykes a big deal?


    Dykes don’t “fuck.” Scissoring their crotches isn’t “fucking” by any definition of “sex.”

  29. kery

    That girl is dumb , I prefer boys …

  30. Sack Lunch

    I’m not saying she’s just doing this to piss off her dad. But I am saying that by the time she’s 30 she will be married to some douche actor or jagoff millionaire. Or Johnny Depp. She’s a “lesbian until graduation,” only she’s not likely to ever graduate from anything.

  31. They are ALL Lesbians

    No surprise here. All women are closet Lesbians,
    they tolerate men for the money ($$$) and the Prestige.
    Ask any married guy what happened to his sex life?

    They’ll blow you and “pretend” to be sexual, right up
    until you sign that marriage contract and hand over 50%.
    Suddenly the sex is gone, and she’s pregnant (bonus $$$)
    Plus, if she’s really Gold Digging, she goes for the Trifecta
    (In California, married 10 years = Alimony for life!).

    Imagine, if you will….
    A celebrity named Nicole was married to a celebrity named Tom
    for 9+ years. She got caught cheating (again) he took her back.
    A month before she hit 10 years, Tom filed for Divorce. She
    was a month away from the Trifecta, so close…

    • A lot of women stop fucking their husbands (and vice versa) because humans aren’t monogamous by nature. We aren’t supposed to fuck the same person for years on end.

      • Married Once, not again...

        A lot of women (most) stop fucking their husbands the moment
        they have their first child, and they are never the same girl. It was
        always about security and money, the bottom line. Getting
        someone to pay their bills, was their true motivation. Sure, they
        get tired of having to have sex with the same guy, so they dump
        him and find a new guy, and live off of the ex. The American way.

      • This is also true. I guess if you’re dumb enough to marry an American woman, you deserve what you get.

  32. The Smell

    So what? Who cares?

  33. I don’t believe this for a second. It’s just for attention. It’s so out of the Lohan-Whatever-The-Hell-That-Shitty-Lesbian-DJ-She-Was-”Fucking” text book. It’ll be over as soon as something else comes along.

    If Ireland was even 20, it might be a little more believable, but this is no different than high-school girls trying to be edgy. Borrrrrrrrrrrrring.

  34. Veronika Larsson

    This interracial lesbian affair is so edgy and shocking!–Sent from the year 1982

  35. No Career from here...

    Here’s the bottom line. She will never be an actress,
    or have a career in Hollywood. She doesn’t strike me
    as the sharpest tool in the shed either, so a business
    career is probably out of the question too. She’s not
    even 20 yet, and this is probably as good as it gets.
    She’s not pretty enough to be a trophy wife either.
    5 years from now when she has to think for herself,
    and make life decisions, and make a living, well.

  36. The headline is inaccurate. They can’t…no matter how badly one might want to be a man!

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