Matthew McConaughey Is On F*cking Fire

May 16th, 2014 // 26 Comments
Interstellar Matthew McConaughey
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There was a time not too long ago when Matthew McConaughey was a walking, shirtless punchline starring in romantic comedies about ghosts he used to put his penis in. But then slowly he began to reinvent himself into a man whose performances will make me literally grab random strangers on the street and breathe into their faces, “Have you seen Magic Mike? What about True Detective? SWEAR TO ME.” And now he’s starring in a Christopher Nolan film that looks 2001 banged The Grapes of Wrath while Contact sits crying in the corner masturbating. There’s no other way to describe this trailer. I’ve tried.

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  1. KillerBear8

    Nailed the landing and description.

  2. Cock Dr

    “We must think not as individuals but as a species”.
    We here in in the states don’t take kindly to these Hollywood socialist inspired tall tales.
    But seriously, I really don’t care for Mr MConaughey but that does look like an interesting movie.

  3. B. Stiviano

    Both his acting and looks are highly overrated, and enough with the fucking apocalyptic movies, so played out

  4. Well, it’s not as if I had plans to purposely miss the next Chris Nolan movie, so… yeah, I’ll be there.

  5. B. Stiviano

    And do not compare this derivative drivel to a masterpiece like 2001.

  6. freebie

    I’ll go see it.

  7. the music is epic, seriously makes the whole trailer. Conversely, imagine the whole thing set to the Benny Hill theme.

  8. They left out the part where Michael Caine teaches McConaughey to land the rocket on a planet “the soize of a tan-jer-een.”

  9. Greg

    Man, this trailer is giving me the ‘Contact’ vibe. Please god, don’t have Mathew McConaughey talk to his dad at the end.

  10. Don’t forget about his role as Danny Buck in Bernie. That movie is awesome.

  11. Slash

    Some of us have always had faith in The McConaughey. He was pretty great in a movie called “Frailty.” Check it out (no, I’m not his agent. I wish. I could use 15% of what he’s making now).

  12. Robb7

    Frailty for sure — also Lone Star. In between all those crap ass rom-coms, he made some good movies. I guess you can’t blame the guy for not turning down the money they were throwing at him for taking off his shirt!

    • Damn. Lone Star. I haven’t heard the name of that movie since my college film class. Bravo.

    • …crap ass rom-coms assure you an extremely comfortable living for the rest of your days, and leave your kid(s) with a trust fund …true detective, magic mike, and dallas buyer’s club do not pay the bills, no matter how many accolades they get …it’s show -business, it’s a job, you take the job that pays the most …like michael caine once said when a talk show host was teasing him about on deadly ground; “i never saw it, but, i love the house it bought me” …so lay off him for that crap. (also; i forgot about lone star too! really good film… man, i used to love me some elizabeth pena… rememeber her in jacob’s ladder???)

  13. Dude you seriously need to get off Matthew McConaughey’s dick. Also True Detective was utter, boring shit.

  14. I agree with Fish. I think McConaughey’s acting has taken a giant leap forward and this movie looks pretty freaky. But then I’ve always liked him since he was in A Time to Kill.

  15. How do you pronounce F*ck? Is there a new vowel that looks like this: “*” ?

  16. Steph

    I’m a McConaughey obsessive now too. My world has been turned upside down. In the apocalyptic vision of Bill Murray in Ghostbusters: “dogs and cats living together, intellectual snobs lusting for Matthew McConaughey”.
    After Killer Joe (I can no longer drive by a KFC without getting an orgasm), Mud, Dallas Buyers Club and especially after True Detective, this guy has gone from Surfer Dude to Greatest Living Actor. Do acting steroids exist or something? If so, the Academy needs to start taking his blood samples.

    • You must be cumming like a freight train because KFC is everywhere.

      • Steph

        It IS a problem. I at least try not to text simultaneously.

        Just realized they don’t test for acting steroids with a blood sample, but rather a urine specimen.

        I am SO there with a little cup if he needs a helping hand.

  17. Hitting the Big Time

    Fucker has notched up the last couple of years. He’s always
    turned out good work, but it was always surrounded by high
    profile dog shit. His Kate Hudson movie for example. The
    good stuff usually slipped by unnoticed, you have to look for it.

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