Insane Clown Posse Affirm Their Christianity, Hate Science

October 11th, 2010 // 144 Comments
Insane Clown Posse

I’m about four months late to this party, but for the record, I consider knowing anything related to Insane Clown Posse to be one step below owning a meth lab on the White Trash Barometer. Case in point: Eminem solved this mystery 15 years ago. Anyway, ICP apparently revealed in June that they’ve secretly been a Christian band all along, and that their overly-explicit songs which have spurred their Juggalo disciples into committing rampant acts of violence, including murders, were really all about finding God. (In their defense, these people did try to kill Tila Tequila.) Flash forward to this weekend where Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope sat down with The Guardian to confirm their faith and discuss their latest single “Miracles” which reveals a strong disdain for science and pretty much all knowledge in general:

“Well,” Violent J says, “science is… we don’t really… that’s like…” He pauses. Then he waves his hands as if to say, “OK, an analogy”: “If you’re trying to fuck a girl, but her mom’s home, fuck her mom! You understand? You want to fuck the girl, but her mom’s home? Fuck the mom. See?”
I look blankly at him. “You mean…”
“Now, you don’t really feel that way,” Violent J says. “You don’t really hate her mom. But for this moment when you’re trying to fuck this girl, fuck her! And that’s what we mean when we say fuck scientists. Sometimes they kill all the cool mysteries away. When I was a kid, they couldn’t tell you how pyramids were made…”
“Like Stonehenge and Easter Island,” says Shaggy. “Nobody knows how that shit got there.”
“But since then, scientists go, ‘I’ve got an explanation for that.’ It’s like, fuck you! I like to believe it was something out of this world.”

So if you truly love something, have intercourse with its mother or else it’ll tell you where pyramids came from. Got it. If that wasn’t deep enough, here’s the hidden religious meaning to “The Riddle Box” which has to make C.S. Lewis realize he went at this game all wrong, son. All wrong:

Hey, what’s up, motherfucker
This is Shaggs 2 Dope
Congratulating you on opening
the Riddlebox
It looks like you received your prize
The cost, what it cost, was your ASS,
bitchboy!
Hahahahah!
(The Riddle Box, 1995)
“If you died today, God forbid, if you were hit by a car and you had to turn the crank to your own riddle box, what would pop out?” Violent J peers at me. “Would it be God, or would it be the devil? Only you truly know the answer to your own riddle box. We’re asking the listener, what is in your own riddle box if you were to die today?”

Okay, that was an easy one. You can practically hear Jesus saying those words himself. Fortunately, Guardian reporter Jon Ronson wasn’t about to stop there:

“So all those unpleasant characters in the songs,” I ask, “like the narrator in I Stuck Her With My Wang, they’re examples of people you shouldn’t be?”
“Huh?” Violent J says.
“Well, it’s very unpleasant,” I say. “‘I stuck her with my wang. She hit me in the balls. I grabbed her by her neck. And I bounced her off the walls. She said it was an accident and then apologised. But I still took my elbow and blackened both her eyes.’ That’s clearly a song about domestic violence. So your Christian message is… don’t be like that man?”
“Huh?” Violent J repeats, mystified.
There’s a silence.
“I Stuck Her With My Wang is funny,” Violent J says. “Jokes. Jokes, man. Jokes. Jokes. Jokes. It’s just a ridiculous scenario. Silly stories, man. Silly stories. What’s she doing kicking him in the balls? We find it funny.”

Ahahaha! Domestic violence.

But, no, seriously. Clearly, the balls represent salvation, while the wang is a metaphor for the Lion of Judah getting ready to “stick” the girl – us, humanity – with its love provided we don’t “kick” it in the balls, a.k.a. nail it to a cross. Which I believe we did, so I can see why it’s not returning our calls like a punk-bitch. (You jotting this down, Joel Osteen? Shit’s gold.)

superficial

  1. DBO

    These guys are a prime example of uneducated white trash. WTF was he saying in the interview. I said it from day one these clowns are garbage.

  2. Rayvnskye

    I can clearly see the Christian Message in lyrics like, “I just ate my first dead body last week, I still got the fingernail caught in my teeth” and “walk down the hallway, it’s a long way, takes all day, when I get there they strap me to the chair,”

    And other such classics.

    These assholes best be TROLLIN’

  3. grinch

    Either a well funded scientific study should be undertaken, or a council of churches should be convened, or both, in order to discover just exactly how much dope it’s necessary to smoke, snort and shoot in order to make such a foul-mouthed video, and then give an interview where you come out with such a totally baffling series of non-sequiturs and contradictions. We probably haven’t got enough drugs and drug profits coming through our non-existent 2,000 mile long border to answer that question.

  4. AJ

    i am in tears, i am laughing so hard!!!

    first that interview – “huh? jokes! jokes!”

    and then this:

    “As soon as you die, this will be yours!”

    whoohooo, i better go lay down before i pee my pants laughing..

    and, in the words of ICP:
    “Hahahaha, always remember to fuck off!”

  5. Tommy Lee's Cock

    I hate this “band” even more now. Fuck organized religion and fuck shitty music. Fuck anyone who buys into either of those things. Fuckidy fuck fuck.

  6. Gary B

    Too bad they couldn’t follow GWAR attach themselves to a more worthwhile religion like the Church of the Subgenius. PRAZE “BOB”!!!!

  7. shezcrafti

    Who produced this video, Prestige Worldwide?

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  10. jj

    thats about as redneck as it gets, people

  11. They raise a great point. There is in fact magic everywhere in this bitch.

    Lamest band since KISS.

  12. DoubleL

    Loving all the self-righteous people who enjoy making fun of juggalos on the internet. This kind of behaviour makes them so much better than the people they hate.

  13. anonymous

    You people are idiots. Not every band out there has to have some hidden message behind it. Just because their music/story is about Christianity doesn’t mean that every song they put out has to be pertaining to Christianity or have a hidden Christian meaning behind it. I suppose every Christian out there’s every action is a hidden reflection/message representing their faith. Such as the priest who sexually molests little boys, must be him telling the little boy “This is how not to be!” Or the Church going man who is a respectable man on Sundays at church, but then after work he comes home, gets wasted and beats his wife. Just another way to show God how much he loves him right?

  14. ObiWanKendrobi

    ICP is the farthest thing from Christian. Last I checked Christianity was supposed to be about love, hope, and faith. Not hating science and everyone that disagrees with you nor joking about domestic violence.
    And for those bashing the Christian religion: do you think it makes you look smart or cool or something? “Oh look at me. I don’t have a religion because I’m too intelligent.”
    I got over that phase in high school. Grow up, already.
    People need to learn to coexist instead of saying “I’m right you’re wrong blahblah” and fighting over such nonsense. Learn to accept each others’ differences. It’s not that hard.

  15. AtheistAaron

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahah…….WAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA…. This is the funniest thing I have seen all year…. Christianity, HERE ARE YOUR POSTER BOYS. Untalented, unoriginal, and anti-intellectual.

  16. THIS IS NOT CHRISTIAN actions. you do not trick people to christ. you do not hide a christian message in a ton of satanic hate lyrics. dont be fooled by a crazy weak, satanic ploy to bring christians away from God’s path to satans path.

  17. As much as I despise organized religion, I feel that bullcrap needs to be called here – these guys are about as Christian as I am.

    What they are, however, is:
    1- Terminally ignorant.
    2- Proud to be so (goes hand in hand with point 1).
    3- Street smart enough to reckon that, in today’s cesspool of technology-enabled pan-ignorance, there is simply no subject fringe enough to be advocated without garnering you a following.

    Their genius -let’s admit it- is having found a subject that is at once fringe, mainstream, rebellious, and all-encompassing: ignorance.

    No commodity is as abundant and affordable as ignorance, no philosophy as readily comprehensible and self-vindicating, no drug as luring and instantly addictive. Once you’ve embraced ignorance you need nothing else, because what ignorance doesn’t pseudo-explain, it easily dismisses as irrelevant.

    What these guys are doing here is trying to validate their ignorance by claiming membership to a much older, time-tested, widespread form of ignorance. They shouldn’t. They should embrace what they are and not try to mingle with the big dogs, lest they risk losing their following to much more seasoned ignorance mongers.

    Thus spoke Mancuso.

    • BE

      At last! Someone who doesn’t believe everything he reads, or hears. What do you know? Could all this be for (GASP) free publicity? For a band that has no talent beyond shock value (simplest translation of not-main-stream, by the way).

  18. seanbo

    man, that song was pure gold!

    “Music is all magic
    You can’t even HOLD it
    It’s just there in the air
    pure motherf*ckin magic”

    “F*ckin magnets
    How do THEY work”

    hahahhahahhahahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahah This changed my life. for real.

  19. Anon

    I’m from Australia & I used to date one of these Juggalos (I didn’t know this for a long time!!). I’ve met a big chunk of the Sydney community of the Juggalos & I have to say… they were all completely useless little white trash psychos bar 2, who were lovely but completely thick. The only nice thing I can say about ICP & their fans is that they’ll die some day.

  20. Dubs

    Check their crawl space.

  21. jeff

    ISIAIh 41 BRING forth your IDOLS did they PREACH to you see they can’t speak they can’t DO ANYTHING all they do is cause confusion. spalms 115 and spalms 135 thier IDOLS are FALSE cant speak can’t hear cant smell and those that make them shall become like them. Jeremiah 10 they nail their IDOL down like a scarecrow it can’t move can’t speak can’t move must be carried these are nothing but the WORK of CON men.john 10 jesus christ sais his sheep hear his voice and another voice thy will not follow and if another person tries to preach to them they WILL FLEE from him. jeremiah 5 the priests bear rule on their own authority what will you do when your judged my word is not inside them. Now here is the kicker john 5 son of man voice goes back in time mathew 16 jesus christ claims to be the son of man. 1 cor2 mind of CHRIST preached internally and john 16 sais the spirit of truth comes in the future. Ezekiel 13 lying prophets of ISRAEL my word is not inside them saying god sais god sais god sais wrote hoping mankind would CONFIRM their WORDS. all of this is EASILY verifiable.

  22. BE

    You know, the other night, I was surfing and ran across the movie Network (1976) on TCM. I watched it again on Amazon digital for free. Might I suggest y’all devote a couple of hours on watching that CLASSIC statement movie. It will give perspective when looking at these Juggalo clowns.

    The oldest game in the book…

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