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      <title>The Superficial - Because You&apos;re Ugly</title>
      <link>http://thesuperficial.com/</link>
      <description></description>
      <language>en</language>
      <copyright>Copyright 2008</copyright>
      <lastBuildDate>Fri, 09 May 2008 13:45:00 -0500</lastBuildDate>
      <generator>http://www.sixapart.com/movabletype/</generator>
      <docs>http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss</docs> 

      
      <item>
         <title>Lindsay Lohan is a shitty cat burglar</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image"><img alt="Thumbnail image for 0505_lindsay_lohan_lg_00.jpg" src="http://thesuperficial.com/assets_c/2008/05/0505_lindsay_lohan_lg_00-thumb-450x675.jpg" width="450" height="675" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;"/></span>

Lindsay Lohan's penchant for clothing-related kleptomaniacism was revealed when she allegedly stole a fur coat at a night club. Now, another woman has come forward and claims Lindsay wiped out her closet. Model Lauren Hastings, Shia LeBeouf's girlfriend, posted a video (<a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/lindsay_lohan_is_a_clothing_kl.php">after the jump</a>) on <a href="http://laurenhastings.buzznet.com/user/video/play/341091/">her website</a> detailing Lindsay's grand theft halter-tops. Apparently five witness saw Lindsay in Lauren's closet handing a bodyguard stacks of clothing, according to <a href="http://www.insideedition.com/news.aspx?storyID=1663">Inside Edition</a>:

<blockquote>INSIDE EDITION has obtained documents from the Los Angeles County District Attorney's office, confirming that Hastings reported the theft of her clothing.  But the DA's office declined to prosecute Lohan, citing insufficient evidence.
"I contacted Lindsay and said, 'Look, I know you stole my clothes.'  She then said I was completely delusional, I was pathetic," Hastings said.</blockquote>

However, Dina Lohan is denying Lindsay's a thief and recently told Inside Edition that the fur coat incident is a lie:

<blockquote>A disgusted Dina Lohan says it's not true, her daughter Lindsay never stole a blond mink coat.<br>
"I talked to Lindsay, we were laughing hysterically on the phone...I mean really, it's silly," Dina told INSIDE EDITION.</blockquote>

Okay, considering Lindsay was raised by <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/michael_lohan_hey_i_wanna_be_i.php">Michael</a> and <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/dina_lohan_is_the_kiss_of_deat.php">Dina</a>, stealing clothes is really a best case scenario. I mean, it could be way worse. I'm just surprised we haven't find out she was the mastermind behind 9/11. Or even worse: Wrote the scripts for the Star Wars prequels. Someone needs to answer for Jar-Jar, LiLo.

<div class = "credit">Photo: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/lindsay_lohan_is_a_clothing_kl.php</link>
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          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Dina Lohan</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">lauren hastings</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Lindsay Lohan</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">video</category>
        
         <pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2008 13:45:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Hugh Hefner wants Miley Cyrus in Playboy - when she&apos;s legal</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image"><img alt="Thumbnail image for 0428_miley_cyrus_vanity_fair_03.jpg" src="http://thesuperficial.com/assets_c/2008/04/0428_miley_cyrus_vanity_fair_03-thumb-450x335.jpg" width="450" height="335" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;"/></span>

Hugh Hefner apparently enjoyed the <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/04/miley_cyrus_forced_into_exile.php">Miley Cyrus bare-back photos</a> so much, that he wants to see what's underneath the sheet. When she's 18, of course. I mean, c'mon, Hugh's not some dirty old man. He's more like, oh I dunno, Jesus. Here's the details from <a href="http://extratv.warnerbros.com/2008/05/heffner.php">Extra</a>:

<blockquote>"Certainly she'd be welcome to the magazine. She's a very pretty lady."<br>
As for the drama caused by Cyrus' VF shoot? "To make such a big to-do over something as innocent as those photos -- I think it's a reflection of how schizophrenic America is about sexuality."</blockquote>

Hugh, old chum, I disagree with you on Americans being schizophrenic about getting freaky. Just because sometimes sex is awesome, then bad, then interrupting my video games, then super cool, then something I cry during, doesn't mean all of us in the colonies have wacky views on the no-pants dance. If I need to build a castle out of LEGOs before knocking boots, that's perfectly healthy. Unless my lady friend uses up all the gray pieces first. Then she might as well call a taxi and get the heck out because I'm a man of principles, dammit.

<div class = "credit">Photo: Vanity Fair</div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/hugh_hefner_wants_miley_cyrus.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/hugh_hefner_wants_miley_cyrus.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Hugh Hefner</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Miley Cyrus</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Playboy</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">scandal</category>
        
         <pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2008 12:50:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>George Clooney once propositioned by Roseanne, it, uh, didn&apos;t work</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 George Clooney/post_image/post_image-0509_george_clooney_sarah_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

George Clooney sat down with Rolling Stone movie critic Peter Travers Wednesday night for a special screening of <em>Leatherheads</em>. During the Q & A, The Chinned One discussed his acting past and his experiences on the set of Roseanne which included a sexual offer from Roseanne. WARNING: If you just ate, skip to the witty banter after the quote. <a href="http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20198548,00.html">People</a> reports:

<blockquote>"I worked on her first series, and when I met her she said, <strong>'You're really good looking, why don't you take me out behind the stage and make me stink.'</strong> She was unbelievably kind to me at a time when no one was."</blockquote>

Clooney, being a rookie actor, couldn't answer with his honest response which I'm sure was something along the lines of: "Well, it looks like somebody already beat me to it. And by somebody I mean a pack of teamsters, Tom Arnold and, judging by your shirt, a hot roast beef sandwich - with fries."

<strong>NOTE</strong>: I make the same face as the Clooney above every morning in front of my mirror. While on George it says, "Hi, I'm George Clooney. I'm suave and debonair," on me it says, "Hi, I'm The Superficial Writer. I wear Spider-man jammies, <em>ladies</em>."

Thanks to veggi whose pick-up line is so powerful, the Pentagon classified it as "Nuclear Sexy."

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/george_clooney_roseanne.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 George Clooney/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_george_clooney_sarah_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/george_clooney_roseanne.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 George Clooney/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_george_clooney_sarah_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/george_clooney_roseanne.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 George Clooney/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_george_clooney_sarah_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/george_clooney_roseanne.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 George Clooney/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_george_clooney_sarah_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/george_clooney_roseanne.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/george_clooney_roseanne.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">George Clooney</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">roseanne</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Sarah Larson</category>
        
         <pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2008 12:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Nick Cannon, I hate you</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/post_image/post_image-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_00.JPG" border="0"><br>

I get a ton, no, make that a <em>space ton</em>, of e-mails from publicists trying to get me to shill their client/wares. Well, this time around, one particular publicist knew how to push my buttons: By sending a pic of Nick Cannon with a Limited Edition Grand Theft Auto IV Xbox 360 System. Here's the details from Chrystina at Edelman that illustrate why I'm tempted to hide behind Mariah's oxygen bed chamber and attack Nick in his sleep:

<blockquote>Only 500 of the systems were made throughout the United States and Europe and Nick Cannon (along with Ice Cube and Pharrell Williams) was lucky enough to receive one. Yup, Mariah Carey’s new hubby is a gamer and Xbox 360 is system of choice.</blockquote>

Of course, if marrying Mariah Carey is what it takes to score such a sexy system, I'll pass. I love video games more than I could ever love my own offspring (See? Suing me for child support won't win my love, kids.), but marriage is a high price to pay. Unless they threw in a kegorator.

Special thanks to Chrystina. If I married you, how many of these could you get? Enough to build a life-size Xbox woman that would make me waffles after our inevitable divorce? If so, I'm already on my knee. That's right. This hunk of romance is all yours, baby....

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_00.JPG" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php?bfm_index=4" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_04.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php?bfm_index=5" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_05.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php?bfm_index=6" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_06.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php?bfm_index=7" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0509 Nick Cannon Xbox Mariah/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0509_nick_cannon_gtaxb360_07.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photo: Edelman, <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/nick_cannon_i_hate_you.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Mariah Carey</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">marriage</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">nick cannon</category>
        
         <pubDate>Fri, 09 May 2008 11:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Elisha Cuthbert is like heaven in a bikini - with boobs, and did I mention a bikini?</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/post_image/post_image-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

Elisha Cuthbert continues <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_bikini.php">her Hawaiian vacation</a> with her boyfriend Guy I Hate Because He's Not Me. As I've learned from you, astute readers, Elisha is Canadian. Does that mean she's ineligible for the Congressional Medal of Honor? Because I'm pretty sure she deserves one, if not two. In fact, because I'm a patriot, I'd be willing to pin them on her chest. It'd be a laborious task, without question, but one I'd treat with honor and respect because dammit, do I love them stars and stripes. And, also, boobs. Don't forget boobs.

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=4" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_04.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=5" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_05.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=6" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_06.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=7" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_07.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=8" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_08.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=9" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_09.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=10" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_10.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=11" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_11.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=12" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_12.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=13" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_13.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=14" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_14.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=15" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_15.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=16" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_16.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=17" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_17.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=18" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_18.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=19" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_19.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=20" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_20.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=21" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_21.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=22" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_22.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php?bfm_index=23" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Elisha Cuthbert more bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_elisha_cuthbert_bikini2_23.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>
]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisha_cuthbert_wont_stop_wear.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">bikini</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Elisha Cuthbert</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 18:35:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Jessica Alba wants you to stare at her as long as you can</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/post_image/post_image-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

Jessica Alba seems to be cuckoo for staring contests. So much so, that's she willing to engage in them online. I included a video of her staring prowess <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php">after the jump</a> which is either the most seductive and/or creepiest thing I've ever seen without my pants on. Anyway, who the hell competes in online staring contests? That's just retarded. Unlike my newly launched Online Rock-Paper-Scissors competition. It's easy to play and fun for the whole family! Simply pick your weapon and I've already lined up my predetermined responses. Let's go!:

If you chose "Scissors," The Superficial Writer chose "Rock." Contemplate suicide.
If you chose "Paper," The Superficial Writer chose "Scissors." Holy crap, you have a vagina.
If you chose "Rock," The Superficial Writer chose "TANK!" I AM THE L33T! And, also, your biological father. 

GAME OVER.

Damn, that's good fun. Thanks to Brandon who needs to blink, man, blink!

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=4" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_04.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=5" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_05.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=6" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_06.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=7" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_07.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=8" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_08.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=9" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_09.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=10" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_10.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php?bfm_index=11" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Jessica Alba lollipop/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_jessica_alba_lollipop_11.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>
]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jessica_alba_wants_you_to_star.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Jessica Alba</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">pregnancy</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">video</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 17:20:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Vanilla Ice&apos;s wife 911 call will make you stop, collaborate and listen. Then feel kind of awkward.</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image"><img alt="0411_vanilla_ice_mugshot_00.JPG" src="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/04/11/0411_vanilla_ice_mugshot_00.JPG" width="450" height="675" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;"/></span>

Nothing's funnier than a domestic violence 911 call. Especially one that involves Vanilla Ice. Am I right? High five! Anyway, after six minutes of sheer lunacy (<a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/vanilla_ices_wife_911_call_wil.php">audio after the jump</a>) you'll find it comforting to know that Vanilla's wife Laura dropped <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/04/vanilla_ice_arrested_for_domes.php">the battery charges</a> and took him back, according to <a href="http://www.tmz.com/2008/04/29/vanillas-battery-case-iced-iced-baby/">TMZ</a>. So, sorry, ladies, the Ice is off the market - until his Hungry Man dinner gets burnt next week.

Thanks to George who would totally open up some Ninja Rap on Vanilla Ice's punkass - which is apparently 41-years-old. Who knew?

<div class = "credit">Photo: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/vanilla_ices_wife_911_call_wil.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/vanilla_ices_wife_911_call_wil.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">arrest</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">vanilla ice</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 16:05:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Amy Winehouse makes bail, free to terrorize the populace</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/post_image/post_image-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

Amy Winehouse is out on bail after being a<a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_arrested_again_w.php">rrested yesterday for smoking crack on video</a>. So, now here's the part of the day, conveniently timed before lunch, where I post pics of Amy in her perpetual state of disarray. Or, as I like to call it, the "Aw, Geez, What the Fuck? Hour." Also, scope out that camera angle in the top pic. No doubt the photographer collapsed, bleeding from the eyes while his camera managed to take a final shot. If it were a camcorder, we'd be able to hear Amy declare: "Bloody hell! Now I want me some French fries, kangaroo with the muffin top. Alright, geezers, Nintendo 64!"

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php?bfm_index=4" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_04.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php?bfm_index=5" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_05.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php?bfm_index=6" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Amy Winehouse ATM/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_amy_winehouse_bail_06.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.bauergriffinonline.com">Bauer-Griffin</a></div>
]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/amy_winehouse_makes_bail_free.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Amy Winehouse</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">arrest</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">drugs</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 15:20:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Britney Spears&apos; second cameo sticks it to Doogie Howser, but not the way he&apos;d prefer</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Britney Spears Ballys/post_image/post_image-0508_britney_spears_ballys_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

Britney Spears is done filming <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/04/britney_spears_returning_to_si.php">her second appearance</a> on the CBS sitcom <em>How I Met Your Mother</em>. This time around her character Abby is dating Doogie Howser's character Barney which must be really awkward for the Doog considering <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/04/doogie_howser_keep_britney_off.php">he publicly complained about stunt casting Britney</a>. Apparently, the writers decided to send him the message to "Shut the hell up and stop rocking the gravy train." <a href="http://www.etonline.com/news/2008/05/61431/index.html">Entertainment Tonight</a> reports on Britney's second go-round:

<blockquote>"I had such a great experience the last time I was on the show that I couldn't wait to come back," she said. "I was really looking forward to working with this cast and crew again. Everyone was so nice. Abby is going to have a lot of fun!"</blockquote>

I included a video clip <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/britney_spears_second_sitcom_c.php">after the jump</a> which I'll warn you will start playing automatically. So, brace yourself for some Britney Spears acting on the ASAP. If you can't play videos at your work, don't worry, I've got a way around your network admin: It's called quitting. It's real simple and all it takes is a well-timed middle finger to your boss after you tip over the water cooler and admit to eating everyone's lunch. Damn, I should blog for Monster.com. I've got career skills out the anus!

<strong>EDIT</strong>: Okay, wow, so that video not only autoplays, but goes right into "Barbara Walters' miscarriage." Mmm, transition-y.

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/britney_spears_second_sitcom_c.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Britney Spears Ballys/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_britney_spears_ballys_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/britney_spears_second_sitcom_c.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Britney Spears Ballys/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_britney_spears_ballys_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/britney_spears_second_sitcom_c.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Britney Spears Ballys/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_britney_spears_ballys_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/britney_spears_second_sitcom_c.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Britney Spears Ballys/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_britney_spears_ballys_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/britney_spears_second_sitcom_c.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/britney_spears_second_sitcom_c.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Britney Spears</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">neil patrick harris</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">video</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 13:25:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>John Mayer made something I like... *head explodes*</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<div style="text-align: center;"><object width="450" height="388" classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000"><param name="movie" value="http://www2.funnyordie.com/public/flash/fodplayer.swf" /><param name="flashvars" value="key=611387370c" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed width="450" height="388" flashvars="key=611387370c" allowfullscreen="true" quality="high" src="http://www2.funnyordie.com/public/flash/fodplayer.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash"></embed></object></div>


John Mayer got together with the folks over at <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/611387370c">FunnyOrDie.com</a> to make a video that takes us behind the scenes of his song-writing process. And, here's the kicker, it's pretty fucking funny. Don't get me wrong. John Mayer's music still makes me want to eat a live grenade, but I actually started to like him as a person. I'm even willing to forgive that he's able to <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php">score a chick like Jennifer Aniston</a>. And, oh wait, the peyote's wearing off. Where am I? Who typed these words? What happened to Lion-O from Thundercats? I could've sworn he was sitting right here next to me.

Thanks to Laura for making me realize John Mayer deserves to live - for now....

<div class = "credit">Video: <a href="http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/611387370c">FunnyOrDie.com</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/john_mayer_made_something_i_li.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/john_mayer_made_something_i_li.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">John Mayer</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Kristin Bell</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">video</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 12:40:00 -0500</pubDate>
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      <item>
         <title>Minnie Driver hints at the father of her baby</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/post_image/post_image-0508_minnie_driver_london_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

Minnie Driver hinted at who the father of her child might be to <a href="http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/music/features/minnie-adventure-miss-driver-turns-her-attention-to-country-music-and-motherhood-822734.html">The Independent</a> and denied rumors that it's San Francisco musician Craig Zolezzi. Also, judging by her information, the father is not Criss Angel. Great, so I built this bunker for nothing. Sonofa... :

<blockquote>The only clues Driver will offer about the identity of her "baby daddy" are that he is English, and "sort of in the same business", and that they have evaded detection because "he's really busy, like me". She is so far undecided whether to have her baby in England or the US: "A big part of me wants my child to be English. My family are here and I'm sure I'll move back here one day. It's just that my work, and the opportunities I've had, have been so varied and wonderful in the States that I've just followed my nose really.</blockquote>

Holy shit. It's Eddie Izzard. You heard it here first*. And before the comment board fills up with a hundred messages from a gaggle of homophobes with broadband, Eddie Izzard is 100% straight - despite all the cross dressing. According to his <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Izzard">Wikipedia bio</a>, he considers himself a "male lesbian" which is interesting because I consider myself a "female lesbian but with a penis, y chromosome and an Adam's apple chiseled from steel."

<small>*Or 1,547th.</small>

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php?bfm_index=4" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_04.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php?bfm_index=5" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_05.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php?bfm_index=6" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_06.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php?bfm_index=7" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/0508 Minne Driver London/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0508_minnie_driver_london_07.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/minnie_driver_hints_at_the_fat.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">eddie izzard</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Minnie Driver</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">pregnancy</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 12:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
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         <title>Michael Lohan: Hey, I wanna be in the news too! Ooh ooh! Me me me!</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image"><img alt="Thumbnail image for 1228_michael_lohan_advice_00.JPG" src="http://thesuperficial.com/assets_c/2007/12/1228_michael_lohan_advice_00-thumb-450x675.jpg" width="450" height="675" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;"/></span>

This whole <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/dina_lohan_is_the_kiss_of_deat.php">Dina Lohan/Mingling Moms fiasc</a>o keeps getting better. St. Michael Lohan already <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/dina_lohan_honored_for_her_par.php">chimed in his two cents to TMZ Tuesday night</a>, but now he's talking to <a href="http://www.nypost.com/seven/05082008/gossip/pagesix/ex_yells_over_top_mom_dina_109959.htm">Page Six</a> about his disgust with Dina's recognition as a Top Mom:

<blockquote> Michael fumed, "Are you kidding! Top celebrity mom? Look at her off-screen antics, her lack of morals and how she conducts herself. I guess they forgot to mention how this top super-mom leaves her kids alone at night and even parties in their presence. Just wait until we go back to court.<br>
"She comes stumbling out of Butter at 3:15 a.m. with bloodshot eyes and a red runny nose, yelling 'Oh, [bleep],' when she saw the paparazzi."</blockquote>

Dina, of course, commented back to Page Six and then name-dropped her own daughter. These two should get back together. They were made for each other:

<blockquote> "I've allowed him visitation once a week, so I don't understand why he's doing this. He's jealous that I got the award. He even called the organizers and tried to talk them out of giving it to me."<br>
Dina fears that Michael will now try to contact her directly. She says she has a restraining order against him until 2011 she thinks he'll violate.<br>
"He's using the media to talk to me," Dina said. "I'm getting nervous. Lindsay came to town two weeks ago and wanted security guys there in case he showed up. His parole officer needs to see what he's doing and realize that he cannot address me directly or indirectly. He wears a tracking device and they'll know if he comes anywhere near me. He's on a mission to destroy me."</blockquote>

Someone explain to me how Lindsay Lohan didn't grow up to become the greatest mind of our generation. I mean, with parents like these, I can't believe she's not in Mensa. But, no, seriously, where were the grandparents who should've stepped in and found a better home for these kids? You know, somewhere safe like the zoo. Or in an alley with a pack of stray dogs. These children deserve better, dammit!

<div class = "credit">Photo: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/michael_lohan_hey_i_wanna_be_i.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/michael_lohan_hey_i_wanna_be_i.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Dina Lohan</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Lindsay Lohan</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Michael Lohan</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 11:55:00 -0500</pubDate>
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      <item>
         <title>Dina Lohan is the kiss of death (Back me up, Lindsay)</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<span class="mt-enclosure mt-enclosure-image"><img alt="0508_dina_lohan_minglemoms_00.JPG" src="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/08/0508_dina_lohan_minglemoms_00.JPG" width="450" height="338" class="mt-image-center" style="text-align: center; display: block; margin: 0 auto 20px;"/></span>

Mingling Moms is having some serious regrets about <a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/dina_lohan_honored_for_her_par.php">honoring Dina Lohan Tuesday night</a> as one of the Top 20 Moms of Long Island. Dina was voted in through an online survey which begs the question, "Who's letting their wife use the Internet, and why are you a terrorist?" The <a href="http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080507/ap_en_ot/people_dina_lohan;_ylt=AkICaeNR3gkScaxbVidXoLQE1vAI">AP</a> reports:

<blockquote>"It just spun out of control," Mingling Moms president Erica Logiudice told The Associated Press on Wednesday. "The press is welcome to be there — I mean, we want it to be out there. But what they did was they kept badgering me, `Why Dina Lohan? Why Dina Lohan?'"<br>
But Logiudice said the attention around Lohan distracted from the true purpose of the event: to bring moms together for a fun time and raise money for breast cancer research. A portion of the proceeds went to the F.A.C.T. foundation, a Long Island-based breast cancer charity.<br>
"This is such a good thing I tried to do, and I worked for so long on it," said Loguidice, who said the organization has been getting hate mail on its Web site. "And to wake up and see all this nonsense, it's just upsetting, you know?"</blockquote>

I want to feel sorry for poor Erica Loguidice, but at the same time, Why Dina Lohan?! I mean, if you were planning this for so long and drawing blueprints, every one knows the logistical symbol for Dina is a bottle of vodka that shoots rockets at small children. That's Blueprinting 101.

<div class = "credit">Photo: <a href="http://www.splashnewsonline.com">Splash News</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/dina_lohan_is_the_kiss_of_deat.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/dina_lohan_is_the_kiss_of_deat.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Dina Lohan</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Lindsay Lohan</category>
        
         <pubDate>Thu, 08 May 2008 09:50:00 -0500</pubDate>
      </item>
      
      <item>
         <title>Jennifer Aniston in a bikini canoodling with John Mayer - Why did I just use that word?</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/post_image/post_image-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

Here's photographic proof that John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston are, indeed, romantically involved. I don't know how the guy does it. I mean, roofies eventually wear off, right? I keep trying to get chicks at the bar to drop one in my drink and take advantage of me. But so far no dice. Except for that one girl who took me up on my offer then stole my car, wallet and everything not nailed down in my house. Which means my case of beer and Star Wars action figures are safe. How could I live without you, Yoda with a giant nail through his face?

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=4" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_04.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=5" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_05.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=6" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_06.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=7" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_07.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=8" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_08.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=9" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_09.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=10" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_10.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px;  margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php?bfm_index=11" style="display: block; width: 90px;  overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Jen Aniston with John Mayer/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_jennifer_aniston_bikiniwjon_11.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.bauergriffinonline.com">Bauer-Griffin</a></div>]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/jennifer_aniston_in_a_bikini_c.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">bikini</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Jennifer Aniston</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">John Mayer</category>
        
         <pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 21:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
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      <item>
         <title>Elisabeth Hasselbeck should wrestle Ann Coulter in a vat of pudding - unless she hates America</title>
         <description><![CDATA[<img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Elisabeth Hasselbeck bikini/post_image/post_image-0507_elisabeth_hasselbeck_bikini_00.jpg" border="0"><br>

Elisabeth Hasselbeck, one fourth of the clucking you hear when watching <em>The View</em>, decided to show off her sweet bikini-clad post-pregnant bod in the pages of <a href="http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/health/superstars/covergirls/elisabeth-hasselbeck-interview/">Fitness Magazine</a>. Elisabeth did a bunch of stuff like dieting, exercising and whatever else Republicans do to lose weight. Which I'll assume includes throwing Bibles at poor people. I dunno, I've never been to a gym. Anyway, Rosie O'Donnell is probably ogling these pics and wishing she'd been a little nicer to Elisabeth. Or Rosie could just be eating her typical Wednesday snack that consists of those giant Brontosaurus ribs from the opening credits of The Flintstones. True story.

<div style="width: 425px; margin: 0 0 0 30px; padding: 0;">  <ul style="list-style-type: none; display: block; width: 425px; margin: 0; padding: 0;">        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Elisabeth Hasselbeck bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_elisabeth_hasselbeck_bikini_00.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php?bfm_index=1" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Elisabeth Hasselbeck bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_elisabeth_hasselbeck_bikini_01.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php?bfm_index=2" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Elisabeth Hasselbeck bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_elisabeth_hasselbeck_bikini_02.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php?bfm_index=3" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Elisabeth Hasselbeck bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_elisabeth_hasselbeck_bikini_03.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php?bfm_index=4" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Elisabeth Hasselbeck bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_elisabeth_hasselbeck_bikini_04.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>        <li style="display: block; float: left; width: 90px; height: 134px; margin: 0; padding: 0 10px 10px 0;"><a href="http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php?bfm_index=5" style="display: block; width: 90px; height: 134px; overflow: hidden; margin: 0; padding: 0;"><img src="http://thesuperficial.com//bfm_gallery/2008/05/Elisabeth Hasselbeck bikini/gallery_thumb/gallery_thumb-0507_elisabeth_hasselbeck_bikini_05.jpg" style="display: block; border: 1px solid #cccccc; width: 88px; margin: 0; padding: 0;"></a></li>      </ul>  <div style="clear: left;"></div></div>

<div class = "credit">Photos: <a href="http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/health/superstars/covergirls/elisabeth-hasselbeck-interview/">Fitness Magazine</a></div>
]]></description>
         <link>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php</link>
         <guid>http://thesuperficial.com/2008/05/elisabeth_hasselbeck_in_a_biki.php</guid>
        
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">bikini</category>
        
          <category domain="http://www.sixapart.com/ns/types#tag">Elisabeth Hasselbeck</category>
        
         <pubDate>Wed, 07 May 2008 16:00:00 -0500</pubDate>
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