June 5th, 2009 // 76 Comments

Hey, folks, sorry for the abbreviated posting today. Had to deal with a family emergency involving rides in an ambulance and navigating the clusterfuckage of the American healthcare system. But everything’s copacetic, and The Superficial will resume its normal posting schedule.

You can stop hyperventilating now.

UPDATE: Huge thanks for all the comments and e-mails. You guys are the shit.

- The Superficial


  1. Daryl G

    Hopefully the EMT drivers aren’t arguing over a candybar.

    And hopefully you have more than theoretical internet dollars to pay the, what now, around $1000 ambulance ride.

    Good luck.

  2. justme

    Just for using “clusterfuckage” in a sentence, you are forgiven anything. I hope all is well.

  3. susan

    Hate it when that happens. Hope all is well…

  4. maddy

    i hope everything is okay.

    i also hope you have health insurance. not having health insurance hurts. ouch.

  5. LA

    Be well, Superficial Writer and family.

  6. LA

    Be well, Superficial Writer and family, friends, etc.

  7. Kate

    Hope everything is well.

  8. jack

    I bet whoever you took to the hospital looked TOTALLY FUCKING FAT on the gurney.

  9. jack

    I bet whoever you took to the hospital looked TOTALLY FUCKING FAT on the gurney.

  10. Angela Ramirez

    At least you still have a sense of humor after getting knifed by our healthcare system. Trust me, those fuckers aren’t done yet…double check those bills. Hang in there and hope things get better.

  11. Hope everythings okay and that the health care system doesnt fail you/your family/friends.

  12. jt

    glad to hear all is well.

  13. Shawn

    Welcome to the US of A.

    You guys gotta change your health care system. Up in Canada, we dont have the perfect solution but its pretty damn good. And NO, it isn’t like a commie system where the state picks your doctors, you can see whoever you want.

  14. Freddo

    Heh heh, y’know what would make a great post here?

    ‘Fat superficial writer dead in a bikini. Where’s my pulitzer?’

  15. maggie

    hope everything is ok <3

  16. I hope everyone is better soon!!

  17. Kate

    Hope you’re alright- nobody brings the funny like you!

  18. Toonman13



    Someone has a crisis and all you can do is tell us how much better your system is?

    And if the Canadian system is so great, why is Quebec starting to move everything away from public to the private sector?

  19. boobies

    stay out of danger’s way superficial writer!

  20. pirhan

    Hope everything is okay Fish!

  21. Funeral Guy

    Wait till you deal with Obamacare. I hope all you hopey changies genius voters will be happy then.

  22. George W. Bush

    I heard your fam got sideswiped by Kim Kardashians huge ass. Sorry. Get well soon!!

    Oh, and hooray at #21

    It’s gonna be a helluva lot of fun when Obamacare takes over. Six months later and it’s already worse than Bush. Glad I didnt vote for any of those 2 fucks.

  23. bkbdtchr

    # 18..Have you ever been to Quebec? Would rather chew off my arm-and have been there! It’s like the third reich..
    On to more substantial things..Superficial writer: I hope everything works out well. Having to worry about a loved one is extremely stressful and not easy to deal with. All the best in all sincerity.

  24. big jerm

    i don’t think penis enlargement surgery required an ambulance ride.

    i’m glad everything is ok, though

  25. iamse7en

    Don’t worry, Obama will make things even worse when government provides for everyone’s health care needs.

  26. Truth Doctor

    At least it’s only a clusterfuckage. If certain people get their way, it’ll be MUCH worse.

    Hope all is well, take your time.

  27. If you think health care is expensive now, wait till it’s free.

  28. lol


  29. lol


  30. lol


  31. Jen

    You always make my day. I really hope all is good in the hood.

  32. CapriciousCat

    I hope everything’s okay. You are a funny guy (you are a guy, right?), and I read The Superficial for my daily dose of laughter. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. okay!

  33. Nosh

    Glad to know it all turned out copacetic (no idea what that means but reading your blog has made me a smarter person, so I think I get the gist) for you.

  34. friendlyfires

    All is forgiven I have been there twice this year.

  35. Rhialto

    Is everything allright now?

  36. Javier

    Oh nothing like dealing with the American healthcare system. Just wait until they send you the bill. Twice. Glad everything is ok with you & yours.

  37. marfa

    aww hope all is well.
    seriously i love your site. your writing is so fucking clever that i’m always cracking up :)

  38. FromOutofFrakkinNoWhere

    Hope all is well.

  39. Larry Jones

    Hang in there, Supe! Obama-care is on the way! You’ll be able to drive your tin foil Obama-mobile to your Obama-care appointment (after you fill up at the Obama-fuel station of course). Maybe you’ll even pick up a copy of the state run media Obama-newspaper on the way so you can read that with your Starbucks Latte!

    Can ya feel it?

  40. shortypeoplec

    Get Well Soon. You did make me hyperventilate there for a second. I thought if you croaked, there’d go all my interest in dumbass celebrity news. AND THEN WHERE WOULD I BE???!!!! *breathe* *breathe*

  41. L.

    Oh, #13. Canada’s healthcare system is so great that there are long wait times for things that, in the U.S., would get you seen immediately. I speak from personal experience.

    To the Superficial Writer, I’m holding good thoughts for you and your family.

  42. Jennnnah

    hahahaha #24

    Here is hoping all is good and everyone was nice to the nurses – they don’t get paid nearly enough :)

  43. laura

    Hope everyone’s ok. My thoughts are with you, Superficial Writer!

  44. We were a little worried but are glad to see you’re back and not in terrible danger. We’re also a little touched you shared your personal reasons for not updating us everysinglesecond; makes us feel special and wanted.

    Take care and get back to work, dammit.

  45. Qian

    Good luck to u! best wishes

  46. Snaggletooth

    Oh shit, I had no idea the “Kung-Fu” guy was your dad!

    Seriously though, I’ll toast you and your fam’s health. Good Luck!

    P.S. All you right wing jack-asses can kiss my ass. I’d rather have a long wait for health care and at least have the option of going. Presently 25% of Americans of uninsured and can only see doctors if they have cash up front.

  47. sistahcantelope

    Positive thoughts and hope for a speedy recovery.

  48. Ananana

    Hope everything is well Superficial Writer!! *.*

  49. Him

    Best wishes to you and yours Superficial Writer. If the docs give you a hard time tell them you have mind-searing pictures of firecrotch that you’re not afraid to unleash on the world! Hope all is well!

  50. bigbeardedbuddy

    Family first for sure, Superficial writer. Hope everything’s ok with the family. Btw, keep up the awesome work, you sure keep me entertained!!

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