Iliana Fischer is all alone on the beach

April 8th, 2008 // 69 Comments

Playboy Playmate Iliana Fischer took in some chill time on the beach in Malibu. I’m not really familiar with her work so I scoped out her official website. Fortunately she’s attractive because, after watching a clip of her film Blind Passion, Iliana has the acting skills of a meatball sub – with boobs. However, she’s set to break out with a music video that looks like it was entirely shot in a parked car outside my apartment building – by Spencer Pratt. Wow, that was way over the line. My bad. Let me rephrase that: It was shot by a blind guy. See? I can be nice.


  1. kathy

    posing nude for playboy = whore

  2. Mr. Jones

    She looks freakishly like Anna Nicole.

  3. ferlo

    nothing to say, thought i’d be first.

  4. Randal

    Well, she’s certainly not Pamela when she was Pamela back in the day and that Berkeley sweater just doesn’t cut it for her, ditto for the bathing suit.

    Are we sure she’s a bunny?

    Sorry, thumbs down on this one.


  5. Richard McBeef

    Dog – O – Matic

  6. bum

    GO BEARS! from a fellow cal grad.

  7. themoose

    What’s with the pet rat?

  8. Richard McBeef

    Randal…. Looks like I have to tell you again…

    1. Insert loaded gun into mouth.
    2. Pull trigger.

    Thanks for playing.

  9. Yo Momma

    I’m not into white girls at all. They age very quickly this is a prime example of it. lol

  10. SLASH

    Nice root job asshole..

  11. Sambo the Ass Pirate

    not denying that i would hit it, but i’d worry the entire time that was banging a tranny. freakishly mannish face.

  12. SLASH

    Well, I just wonder if I were to unfold this here paperclip like so, and jam it into my boss’s eye, would that get me the raise I so deserve?????

    Or at least a paid vacation?

  13. nipolian

    She best be staying off the Chalupas, I can see a case of JL-Hewittitis setting in.

  14. Ted from LA

    What year was she a playmate? Anything later than 1995 is a bad sign for her. I’d like to step on her dog and kill it. I like dogs, but that is more rat than canine.

  15. Ted from LA

    She’ll be dating the Hulkster in three years.

  16. cutie

    she is gross

  17. shanipie

    I wouldn’t step foot outside with roots showing like that.

    Also…so what exactly do you need to be in playboy these days other than 2 x chromosomes? She’s FUCKING WIDE. lol the small dog just makes her look more like a cow.

    seriously other than tan skin (fake btw) whats she got? other than a 3000 calorie a day diet I mean.

  18. Juffie

    Damn, Playboy’s standards have gotten real low….

    This chick ain’t hot. She looks like a fucking man.

  19. Vas Deferens

    That’s a HUGE bitch!

  20. Ash

    Don’t blame playboy, old Hef is crazy as batshit from dementia not to mention trying to cater to obese america….I think they are called glamazons …. yeah… I don’t get it either… and I just vomitted in my mouth a bit

  21. rootlicious

    Yes… something must be done with those roots. She’s not TOO bad… Could probably trim those thighs down a bit. I’d throw it in her regardless…

  22. Ript1&0


    I respect your opinions on this issue and I agree on the fact that she is leathery fug. However, I just can’t hate on that Cal hoodie.

    Some pants would be a nice addition.

  23. Mink

    17 and 20 – thank god someone has common sense. She’s disgustingly large and mannish

  24. Ript1&0

    Also, is it just me, or is that yappy little dog looking like some sweet chairbroiled dinner? Mmm yummy.

    Fire up the grill, b, we’re Q’in it up!!!

  25. Sophie

    Makes ya think that the “Official Playboy Airbrush Technician” gets paid MILLIONS

  26. justifiable

    I think Hef is trying desperately for an other Anna Nicole. This bitch is just chunky, nothin’ more.

  27. NY Ted

    Par for the course…big tits…long legs…nice tan…blonde hair…AND SAND FOR BRAINS!

  28. mrs.t

    Having zero idea who this is, I thought it WAS the Hulkster’s new lay-day until I wasted 15 seconds and read the post.

    Glamazon. my ass. Try Hamazon.

  29. jesse

    First Janice Dickinson somehow makes it onto the “So Freaking Hot” section, and now all of a sudden this is hot? When will it stop?

  30. deacon jones

    Jesus! When was this broad a Playmate, ’64????

  31. Jumpin_J

    Wait, she’s a centerfold? Was she in Playboy? More like Playgirl. She’s a MAAAAAHN BAAAABEEE! Zing!

  32. Harry Ballzack

    Iliana Fischer is a U.C. Berkeley graduate with degrees in psychology and Spanish literature/poetry.
    And looks like a man

  33. alex

    shes holding overalls in the last pic… ew

  34. SL

    go bears!!!

    32 – you can’t have it all…?

  35. monkeyfightclub

    How long ago was she in Playboy? 20 years ago?

  36. PunkA

    #8 Randal is right. Even his gaydar was more trustworthy than your eyes. Maybe you need the gun.

  37. Vince Lombardi

    It’s Anna Nicole without tits.

  38. simplicity

    He’s a tanned fat chick ..with fake boobs ..that cant sing pornos.. that paid someone to take pics of him.

  39. boo

    Gotta agree with Ted from LA and Mrs. T., when I first saw the pics I thought they were of the soon to be ex Mrs. Hulk, minus about 10 yrs and 20 lbs

  40. desperate old bitch wanting to be hot?

    Cute dog, fat ol’ used up whore looking chick.
    What’s wrong with all these women trying to resemble Pamela Anderson but miserably failing, and bleaching their hair as blond as possible and tanning their skin until it looks like old wrinkly leather?
    It was like 15 years ago when Pamela was the hottest woman in the world, yet these women keep wanting to look like Pamela but end up looking like ugly used up hoes trying way too hard.
    I find the really fake bleach blonde and the overly tanned skin look really, really gross. If the chick has a face ugly as sin, like this one, it’s even worse.

  41. qc

    can someone tell me if she really went to Cal? cuz that’d be awesome

  42. Bob Carlson

    She was never a Playboy Playmate! Just because you have a photo in Playboy, doesn’t make you a Playmate. And I can’t even find any proof she was even in Playboy to begin with. Maybe she was a lingerie model or something. This isn’t a story worth being on the Superficial.

  43. dick hurts

    Is it me, or does she have a big ass? Looks like Anna Nicole.

  44. Rut Roh

    Damn, that’s an ugly lady-man. I love the movie clip, it’s actually worse than the free porn online. Yes, I freely admit that. It’s still worse.

  45. BoboTed

    I just want to know where I can see her naked tits. That video clip on her website didn’t even have nudity!!

  46. caljenna66

    Hey, lady? I think your….do…ra…weas… ferr….thing needs a sweater.

  47. yo

    8, that’s just rude. randal’s posts are hilarious, whether it’s intentional or not.

    is that woman large, or am i just small?

  48. Samantha

    Iliana is a whole lotta woman! Everything is big in the right places. I’m very envious. I’m also not at all surprised that the hissing radiators calling themselves “men” on this celeb gossip blog are intimidated, and thus criticizing her body. The most they can handle is 98 lbs, completely shaved. So, their niece. Ok, actually it’s their nephew…

  49. tankzor

    Stop with all the pictures of Hulkster already

  50. I'd eat her pussy out


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