I was close about the Travolta baby.

Thanks to the miracle of Scientology somehow everything I said about the unborn Travolta baby is not only true but way more fucked up than anyone could’ve possibly imagined. Page Six reports:

The couple, who are staunch Scientologists, received massive support from the church after Jett, who was autistic, died at age 16 in January last year from a seizure. The church teaches that a follower’s spirit has lived before and will live again after death in another body.
Artist Michael Pattinson, who quit Scientology in 1997 after 24 years and later sued the group, said: “The whole ethos of Scientology is that we come back. With Sea Org [the sect’s upper echelon], they ask members to sign billion-year contracts. Their motto is ‘We Come Back.’ It makes sense that the Travoltas would have another baby after losing Jett.”

Of course, this has to be pure nonsense, and I’m sure Scientology spokesperson Tommy Davis can clear the whole thing up:

We believe that when people pass away, the spirit leaves the body and moves to another body right away. I wouldn’t want to make any comment on the Travoltas and the passing of their son, but for someone to suggest such a thing sounds pretty reprehensible to me.”

See? The Travoltas aren’t having another baby for Jett’s soul to inhabit. That’s crazy talk. The minute Jett died, he moved into someone else’s body and is probably fighting off Thetans with ray guns he found in their stomach as we speak. There’s always a rational explanation for everything.

Photos: Splash News