Heidi Montag released her unfortunately-named single “Superficial” today and surprisingly uses the word “bitch” in the chorus despite her Puritan lifestyle of fake tits and sharing a bed with a homosexual:
“They say I’m superficial, some call me a bitch,
They’re just mad, ’cause I’m sexy famous and I’m rich.”
My lawyer tells me I can’t sue over this, however, I’ve been advised I’m within my rights to fire-bomb their house then scatter their ashes into the Pacific to prevent cloning. Or “file a complaint with her label,” as he called it. Anyone got a lighter?
Photos: Pacific Coast News
Jake | November 24, 2009 at 1:25 pm
FIRST YOU LITTLE BITCHES!!!!
soho | November 24, 2009 at 1:25 pm
first?
Regis | November 24, 2009 at 1:29 pm
Would love to tear this bitch’s cunt to shreds!
Jabron | November 24, 2009 at 1:32 pm
dis ho needs to be riding my big black cock and take my love juice all ova
noodle | November 24, 2009 at 1:36 pm
i happen to have a lighter right here.
happy to help brosive.
Smile | November 24, 2009 at 1:38 pm
I like… still she won’t ever sing it live. It looks like a theme copy of Britney’s song. The only difference is Britney still has some talent and can sing. The only talent Heidy has is taking up the ass from Spencer. “Hey, if it’s dark and you gag her mouth from making a sound, it’s almost like screwing a man. Ahhh, Adam Lambert…………………..”
Hewie | November 24, 2009 at 1:48 pm
Fish, sue that labia, I mean label! They are liable! I mean liars!
Sarah | November 24, 2009 at 1:50 pm
my ears are bleeding. Rich, Sexy & Famous?? She really should name the song Delusional.
Samma | November 24, 2009 at 1:57 pm
I’m not going to listen to it until she makes a music video for it. because if I’m going to make my ears bleed then I’m going to get some enjoyment out of her looking like an dumbass with a shitty music video.
Suzy | November 24, 2009 at 1:58 pm
I really want to die now. Sarah – you put it best.
supidass | November 24, 2009 at 1:58 pm
a haiku:
*ahem*
what i wouldn’t give
to smear my turds in her eyes
improving the world
c | November 24, 2009 at 2:01 pm
she looks like brittaney starr
Sport | November 24, 2009 at 2:05 pm
Good to see that she is humble and grounded.
Haywood Jablowmie | November 24, 2009 at 2:12 pm
11: you neglected to mention a season, your haiku, although lovely, is broken.
jumpin_j | November 24, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Phish, you have the best attorney ever. I say firebomb away. No court would convict you. It’s a mercy killing.
tessa | November 24, 2009 at 2:20 pm
make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop make it stop
BITCH MUTHER FUCKER!!! | November 24, 2009 at 2:37 pm
@3 summed it up very nicely but he missed a couple items. First pull her big mouth apart then go for her hot pompus (i do have to admit she does have a nice body and butt) butt ,(you konw with a butt like that, anal sex is a must) I cant believe she is going out with that Spencer guy. Thats it c ya!
stupidass | November 24, 2009 at 2:38 pm
thanks for setting me straight #14. i have to get this right….this is fucking important shit here:
dreams of my winter
to smear my turds in her eyes
improving the world
Mike Miller | November 24, 2009 at 2:41 pm
I hate myself for loving her. I really do.
GOD | November 24, 2009 at 2:48 pm
JESUS CHRIST…SOMEONE PLEASE RUN OVER THEM WITH A HUMMER ALREADY. THEY TOTAL ASSHOLES.
gotmilk? | November 24, 2009 at 3:06 pm
“They’re just mad, ’cause I’m sexy famous and I’m rich.”
uhh you’re none of the above.
FWT | November 24, 2009 at 3:17 pm
Dude, she’s a killer fuck back in the SF days. Too bad she turned white trash.
um | November 24, 2009 at 3:47 pm
I don’t care what any of you say, she is really fucking ugly. Ew.
ohlookatallthestupidpeople | November 24, 2009 at 3:50 pm
In order to be a proper bitch you have to have some form of intelligence. I think Heidi Montag would be better described as a vapid, useless waste of space who clearly represents everything that is wrong with American culture.
cc | November 24, 2009 at 4:12 pm
FWT….the SF days?
Anyway, she should get shot for pic #3 alone. That fake surprise shit of hers is nauseating, and makes her look even more vacuous than usual. Which is barely possible.
She’s got nice fair skin though, I bet her ass is like smooth and white as fine china. Throw her in a school girl skirt and I’d throw her over my knee and punish her for singing such drivel.
Adam | November 24, 2009 at 4:18 pm
She’s so hot. I’d love to fuck her beautiful cunt. Thanks for keeping us updated about her. And cut your left wing bullshit; she’s fucking awesome
Adam Steve | November 24, 2009 at 4:19 pm
She’s so hot. I’d love to fuck her beautiful cunt. Thanks for keeping us updated about her. And cut your left wing bullshit; she’s fucking awesome
Adam Steve | November 24, 2009 at 4:20 pm
She’s so hot. I’d love to fuck her beautiful cunt. Thanks for keeping us updated about her. And cut your left wing bullshit; she’s fucking awesome
Mickey01232000 | November 24, 2009 at 4:26 pm
Boy are these two dillusional or what. Sexy, WTF, what is sexy about this broad. If there are 8 chicks on that show she is on she is the 10th best looking. Who would give this no talent fake boobed bubble head a recording deal? Have things become that desperate in the world of the supremely untalented that they had to scrape the bottom of the barrel for this POS. I nominate them both for target practice for the Navy off Long Beach.
Anon | November 24, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Why does every talentless celebrity feel the need to record a song about how “famous” they are, and how unfair their lives are? (Anyone remember Lindsay Lohan’s “Rumors” ?)
nADA | November 24, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Wow, the aids orphans in Africa must be crying tears of joy right now.
- really, good laugh!!!!
Good to know what a thoughtful and deep person she is. Who wrote those song lyrics? A high twelve year old? No what, that is deeply insulting to every twelve year old I know… I totally take that back. I know no child who can compare to this hot mess. Let’s just say H is on the immature side of life and leave it at that.
Jimmy Fury | November 24, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Thank you, thank you, thank you for posting these pics fish. I’ve been really pissed at myself for quitting my job at Borders last summer just before the economy really choked on its own vomit.
Now I’m very happy i did. I’d rather be living under a bridge than working for a company that lets that moron sign books in their stores.
All Women Stalker | November 24, 2009 at 5:34 pm
When I read about the song on another blog, I thought it was about THIS blog. haha
-meream
RebelMinion | November 24, 2009 at 5:45 pm
Okay. So I just started visiting this site on the suggestion of a friend.
I am not 100% sure of what the hell is going on around here. But I am left wondering:
Who the hell is Heidi Montag?
missywissy | November 24, 2009 at 5:50 pm
Are terrorists backing Heidi and Spencer, I can’t, for the life of me, figure out who actually gives these losers money???????? I’m just trying to figure out who hates America so much that they would front money to Heidi and her “villanous” gay boyfriend. I would however pay money to see Spencer get in a fight. That would be some good fun. Let’s see the “villian” try to defend himself. now THAT’S entertainment.
WB | November 24, 2009 at 5:53 pm
Sure. Doubt you and the Pratts didn’t sit down over lattes at the Coffee Bean and collabo on this shit.
Boogeyman King Dong | November 24, 2009 at 6:30 pm
Lol this gonna be one big hit.
Nero | November 24, 2009 at 6:37 pm
I’d expect this single soon being followed up by a leaked sextape as well.
Gando | November 24, 2009 at 6:43 pm
Some parts of the lyrics ain’t that bad.
Some Girl | November 24, 2009 at 6:55 pm
Sooo… She “sings” for almost 3 minutes about all of the shit that she has, but when people say that she’s superficial it’s only because they’re jealous. Why the fuck am I trying to make sense out of this anyway… Best line of the song: “I wear diamonds for breakfast.” WOW! I wear diamonds when I’m taking a shit.
erikskov.com | November 24, 2009 at 8:20 pm
She wears diamonds for breakfast?
Cara | November 24, 2009 at 8:32 pm
All she is doing is singing into an autotuner/vocoder. What the hell? Sooooo talented. Lol. I hate her so much for thinking she is a musician. Every single person posting here could sound just like her if they too had the electrical equipment. Not that you would want to.
JoJo | November 24, 2009 at 9:11 pm
Holly Shit shes put on a good 20lbs what the fuck happened
Beer Baron | November 24, 2009 at 9:20 pm
She seriously never takes a photo without that “mouth wide open and look of amazement on her face.”
fdzfdz | November 25, 2009 at 1:58 am
fuck you now my ears are bleeding
Narcissist | November 25, 2009 at 5:22 am
Looks like she’s channeling her inner attention whore.
Don’t strain your brain Heidi, just get naked.
yes | November 25, 2009 at 9:15 am
loving the comments from you guys…. amazing!
especially # 20… HAHAHA
Ice1 | November 25, 2009 at 9:39 am
Here is a great place——- Cougarmatching.com ——- It’s a premiere cougar dating community for older women seeking younger men and young men seeking cougars. Come in, post a message, a picture of yourself and check out the hot photo galleries. You will find someone you like here…
Isabela | November 25, 2009 at 4:45 pm
GEEZ! she’s really crazier than i thought!
gö?üs esteti?i | November 28, 2009 at 7:45 am
She’s got nice fair skin though,