I Found The Great Pumpkins: A Jersey Shore Halloween Post

Because we’re literally two steps away from being ruled by apes – And not even the super-evolved, smart kind. I’m talking the ones who spend all day masturbating in a tree. (Okay, maybe they are super-evolved.) – the cast members of Jersey Shore hosted Halloween parties across the country. For brevity/my own sanity’s sake, I tossed them all into one convenient post for your viewing pleasure:

The Girls:
JWoww at DUSK in Atlantic City. Costume: “How to Stop Priests From Molesting Choir Boys.”
Snooki at Jet in Vegas. Costume: Pickleonia, Slam-Pig Empress of the Landfill.

The Guys:
The Situation at Jet in Vegas. Costume: Guy ready to overpay a hooker to maintain the illusion women don’t immediately sew their vaginas shut after two seconds of conversation.
Pauly D at The Palms in Vegas. Costume: What he (erroneously) hopes to God straight DJs wear in Vegas. “Now is not the time to drop that bomb,” he probably told The Situation over pedis.
– Whoever this last one is. Honestly, I didn’t recognize him, so just to be safe, he should probably uppercut Snooki into a coma so I know he’s part of the group. It’s the only way.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to meticulously insert C4 into a bunch of banana peels. We’ll see who gets the last feces-throw, apes. We’ll see…

Photos: Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN