‘I Can Walk in Mah Pointy Shoes, Y’all’

January 14th, 2011 // 71 Comments

To the surprise of anyone familiar with the laws of physics and/or depth perception as it pertains to the retarded, Britney Spears strutted around LA yesterday in a pair of heels. There’s an old saying that Britney was always built more like the quarterback than the cheerleader, and I’m actually going to disagree with that because Tony Romo will never look this powerful. Seriously, you give those thighs an open field and promises of chicken, they’ll take you to the goddamn Super Bowl.

Or punch a hole in the concession stand, I’m not making any promises.

Photos: Fame, Pacific Coast News

superficial

  1. Tyler Perry

    FIRST?

    Or “FRIST!!” as the retards like to say

  2. Tilly

    All that money and always a damn mess. Life is not fair.

  3. Deacon Jones

    Myyyyy how the mighty have fallen….

    She looks like she’s on 100cc’s of Lithium

  4. seth rogen's vagina

    I’d hit that. wth, she looks good, has enough money somebody else drives her around, opens the car door for her, everything’s paid for, easy life. I’ll latch onto that gravy train anyday – cook her some good ass fried chicken and gravy 3 times a day, bang her all night, I’ll even tell her she’s smart no matter what she says, as long as I don’t have to bother working for a living anymore.

  5. Cock Dr

    Those thighs should have their own comic book series.

  6. Douchariffic

    Those are barely heels. They’re more like a child’s dress up shoes.

  7. Britney Spears
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:

    GAH! She looks exactly like that creepy guy from Lost Highway.

  8. Master Spook

    Pssst! Someone near her. Pull her hair a bit!

  9. just-this-guy

    They say if I don’t fell down on my butt for least fifteen minners that I can have a choc’it shake. Mmmm…I love choc’it!

  10. GravyLeg

    And with a Brittany post, we can now officially start 2011.

  11. burton

    short women should be banned from this site, there is nothing hot or sexy about short legs EVER! no matter how pretty the face is, short legs SUCK!

    • doodles

      Some of us can’t help being short, fool. Bet yer no prize pig yourself! Oink Oink.

      Brit’s bod is looking good. Now to do something about that weave.

    • Geoff

      Haha. This is possibly the stupidest comment I’ve ever read. Rachel Bilson? Barely 5″ and hot as fucking hell. Yum.

    • Jordan

      Dude, you’re retarded. Short women have short legs, not much you can do about that. Besides, I personally prefer shorter girls.

  12. Deacon Jones

    Being a huge Brittney mastur……,er, fan during the early days, for the life of me I can’t recall when all the sudden she went batshit crazy.

    Yes, the head shaving incident, but what the fuck lead to that? I mean, I’ve seen head trauma people in wheelchairs that look more aware than her.

    • The Listener

      I read somewhere that mental illness runs in her family. Between that and the stress of her lifestyle, she coped the best she could until she had the head shaving incident.

  13. …and walks like a chicken in them.

    • Mike Walker

      JUDGE: What’s the matter with her?!
      JAMIE SPEARS: Your honor, my daughter thinks she’s a chicken.
      JUDGE: Why don’t you put her in an institution?
      JAMIE SPEARS: We can’t — we need the eggs!

  14. How many of you remember back when Britt, Jessica Simpson, & Backstreet Boys were so popular and hot in pop culture. Now there all fat, drug addicts, and fallen off. Don’t you love pop culture, here today and gone tomorrow. Lady Ga GA, Justin Bieber, and Mylie Cyrus are next. Bye Bye

  15. Britney Spears
    asdsda
    Commented on this photo:

    She’s OK and FRIST.

  16. Britney Spears
    asdsda
    Commented on this photo:

    On second thought… I was probably too quick commenitng on her appearance…

  17. Britney Spears
    dR
    Commented on this photo:

    Nothing says class like a muffin top and a foot tattoo.

  18. andy7171

    I have never seen someone waiver between hot as balls and fat-n-trashy as I have with Ms Spears!

  19. Britney Spears
    Cock Dr
    Commented on this photo:

    Sunlight & horizontal stripes are not your friends.
    I would love to see her list of prescription meds. She looks like a zombie.

  20. Britney Spears
    Mike Nike
    Commented on this photo:

    I’d like to suck on her juicy bum hole till Christmas, stop, open my present, then lick it some more.

  21. Britney Spears
    Mike Nike
    Commented on this photo:

    I would eat her.

  22. Turd Ferguson

    White Trash with Cash.

  23. bimbamboing

    Doesn’t she have this time a cell phone glued to her hand? I’m surprised! I just discovered her number … To my big surprise it wasn’t meant opposite.

  24. Galtacticus

    I’ll advice to load up the battery to the highest point. Because she’ll be receiving probably a most divine message tomorrow …

  25. Gando

    I see lots of green in this picture. A most cultivated filosopher said once: “A better and healthier world is a greener world.”

  26. Britney Spears
    Jackie
    Commented on this photo:

    There’s an entire glazed ham in that neck. Pineapples and all.

  27. Davy

    She really pours those cankles into those shoes. Oh sorry, I meant crams.

  28. bimbamboing

    Did she get released from her cage or something?

  29. Britney Spears
    Kurt Cobain
    Commented on this photo:

    Are you sure those aren’t pictures of my Courtney Love from like 15 years ago?

  30. Britney Spears
    Galtacticus
    Commented on this photo:

    4 inch high heels would be allright to me. I know that women love high heels.

  31. Galtacticus

    What are these cryptic signs doing on her left foot?

  32. Aussie Mama

    Poor thing always looks so unhappy and helpless. New song and now she’ll be forced to perform around the world again, which she quite clearly doesn’t want any part of. But if you want to see your kids, you gotta do, what you are forced to do.

  33. Rhialto

    I like women on high heels. I’ve never had any problem with that. I guess it’s for women important that they feel sexy.

  34. Nero

    Ever seen a stripper walking in sandals? That’s what i’m talking about. Sure all women are different but the basics are there in any of them.

  35. bimbamboing

    It’s a kind of pathetic looking women walking next to their men on flat heels because they’re afraid to be taller. That’s even putting the emphasis on it. Like it would really bother them.

  36. Rhialto

    High heels might even turn me on… But rather not, in public, like they’re walking on size stilts.

  37. bimbamboing

    I’m looking to these cryptic signs…. Are these heart shapes or something?

  38. wim

    well, let’s call the” ASPEN times”, folks!!

  39. oldfool

    I have to give a huge shout out to her make up people who can make her look pretty doable on stage. Criss Angel should take lessons.

  40. bimbamboing

    She’d look like a Blake Lively’s construction variant.

  41. Galtacticus

    Compared to what she looked like. She doesn’t look bad in these pics.

  42. What a stupid retard

    I see her people are afraid to tell her just how stupid she looks. She’s got tree trunks for legs and a fat flabby ass; no way should she be wearing such tight jeans. But, that’s shitney; she’s a retard…

  43. Britney Spears
    jime
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks amazing ♥

  44. Britney Spears
    Sam
    Commented on this photo:
  45. Britney Spears
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    She needs accutane.

  46. Britney Spears
    Nik
    Commented on this photo:

    I imagine she may be permanently on those pills you take to detox off drugs (too keep her off illegal drugs)… AND WHERE ARE HER EYEBROWS?

  47. Britney Spears
    Sean
    Commented on this photo:

    She looks like Courtney Love’s older sister. Lots of mileage on that model.

  48. Britney Spears
    Mama Pinkus
    Commented on this photo:

    I am 53 and my ass looks better than that – hell, my ass looks a LOT better than that

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