Hulk Hogan to boobies: Turn my frown upside down – but not the moustache or it’s go time, brotha!

May 11th, 2008 // 18 Comments

After his son Nick was sentenced to eight months in prison on Friday, Hulk Hogan needed the soft, soothing relief of nature’s own antidepressant: mammaries. He gathered up some wrestling buddies on Saturday and retreated to the holy sanctuary of Hooters, according to TMZ:

Hulk Hogan drowned his sorrows in chicken wings at a local Hooters restaurant in Tampa, Florida today. Sources tell TMZ that the wrestling star was accompanied by close friend and former WWF wrestler Brian Knobbs of the Nasty Boys, wrestling manager Jimmy Hart and other family friends. The group dined on wings, beer and salad.

Is there anything that breasts can’t heal? No, really, I’m seriously asking. I lost at online Mario Kart to The Geekologie Writer* and kind of whipped my Wii Wheel at the wall which ricocheted into my melon. I think, if I see a nipple, I should pull through. Or even just some areola. Also, time is a factor. There’s a dude here with a black robe and sickle who says he’s in a rush.

*I hate you and put the HIV in your coffee. Happy Monday!

superficial

  1. ja

    First Brotha !

  2. englebertington

    What a mess. What a mess.
    Tenth !

  3. havoc

    Accountability’s a bitch,……

    .

  4. pointandlaugh

    the little hulkster got off EASY for the hell he put his friend through “hey sorry I drove super fast and caused us to wrap around a phone pole, and hey sorry about that whole paralyzed, coma thing you got going on.”

  5. wowzer

    mammary miricle workers

  6. Auntie Kryst

    Did TMZ report if Jimmy “The Mouth of the South” Hart wearing his trademark sunglasses? Can you be more specific on what type of beer the Hulkster consumed, foreign or domestic? Was the salad served family style, or did each person receive their own plate??

  7. tibi

    God, that coma-inducing ad at the top of the page pop us up everywhere lately. The guy owning the site should be forced to watch that 2 hours non stop, see how he fucking likes it.

  8. Ups, got a normal one again. Thank you random ad dispatcher, you rule.

  9. I hope his son doesn’t think prison is as fake as wrestling… or he’ll be holding someone’s pocket as he ties his shirt into a sexy midriff showing knot.

  10. threepwood

    dang i bet nick wishes he had his sisters physique now…too fight off rapists with those massive legs i mean

  11. anita

    I was at a club in chicago and this bozo walks in with 6 girls (all in gowns) and a limo waiting outside with more girls. He had a white glittery suit on that had a white cape. He’s short and a total douche bag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  12. mamadough

    nothing says classy like celebrating your spawn of doucheness being locked up by staring at some DDs that will only be loved for their looks.

  13. Quinn

    Little hulkster didn’t “get off easy” – he benefited from the FACT that the court didn’t want an aggressive defense lawyer poking around into John Graziano’s military record and finding those accusations that he raped Iraqi teenagers on multiple occasions while on patrol.

  14. toolboy

    “Hey! Lil’ Hulkster! whatcha gonna do when Cleofus bus yo ass in two?”

  15. It’s pronounced “brother!” As in:

    “What ‘chya gonna do, brother, when the largest arms in the world, come crashing down on you (flex)?”

  16. fygu

    I like that title Fish. Good work.

  17. Sam Brown

    Could that man possibly be any more disgusting. Imagine having to have grandpa sex with him (ewww).. no amount of money could make it appealing, I’d do Amy Winehouse before that silly old fart!!… On second thought I’d let them have sex and then sell the tape

  18. Cherie

    So i was listening to howard sterns talk show the other night and heard all the phone convos that the prison released….and what a bunch of fucking assholes….how dare them say it was that guys fault, that he was a negative person so god put him in a coma….no one deserves to be in a hell hole like that kid…fuck nick, fuck his fucking family….they hopefully all burn in hell.. mother fuckers…and linda crying saying that she was the one in hell and the one that is a miserable reck….shes busy fucking some 19 yr old fag whos prob. only fucking her for the sake of getting noticed….shes a cunt and really needs to get a better prospective on life….yeah, shes hurt her sons is in jail…but what the fuck? he put a poor guy in a coma….after that guy served his country and made it possible for her fake, gold digging, fat ass to be free and live here in peace….and none of them should be bringing god into this…i hope he sends them straight to hell where they belong….

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